Anime sets unreasonable standards for food

Everybody loves to bitch about how anime sets unreasonable standards for relationships, but what about food? People don’t need relationships, but we sure as hell need food. I’m hungry. I think I’ll eat some more of my brother’s birthday cake.

Buying this cake was the nicest thing I’ve ever done intentionally. I’d say it even beats that time I got him a pack of pencils with his name printed on them.

Unfortunately, I forgot that my brother lives approximately 470 miles away from me, so I had no choice but to eat the cake alone. It was heartbreaking – heartbreakingly delicious!

Why can’t all food be utterly scrumptious like the birthday cake my brother will see mouthwatering pictures of but never taste? Nothing at the grocery store turns me on anymore. After wading through aisles of organic vegetables and dolphin-free tuna, I thought I finally found something worth eating:

This shitty cereal wasn’t even made from real Pandas. To top things off, the word search puzzle on the back of the box was way to easy. TOUCANGMDH, gee, I wonder if there’s a word in there.

I blame anime for setting the bar too high. Everything in anime looks delicious.

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15 people love sucking up to me

  1. Aniki says:

    Im walking 470 miles (since vehicles are for pussies) just so I can kick your ass and get my god damn cake back!

  2. John says:

    I used to really like bread, but then I saw Yakitate!! Japan and realized that I had never tasted any bread truly worth enjoying.

  3. Baka-Raptor says:

    Better start walking while there’s still some left. Otherwise all you’ll have left is “soramimi cake.”

    Did I mention this cake is delicious? Mmmmm….

  4. LJ says:

    Frankly, before anime, I don’t think I’d ever contemplated grilling myself up a nice iguana-on-a-stick. Maybe it’s all those soft-focus, low-key-lit supercloseups. Weakened my perceptions.
    Yeah, maybe that’s it. Maybe all you need to make any run of the mill steak delicious is the proper mood lighting and enough variations on the colors red, pink, orange, and brown, with a little bit of yellow and green tossed in. Oh yeah. And a pineapple ring or two. Because some retard keeps putting that in there.
    Okay, so maybe that wasn’t just an “all you need” inasmuch as it constituted the better part of a paragraph. But I’ll be damned if someone can produce that very specific food effect without all that shit.

  5. Aniki says:

    If you finish MY cake by the time I arrive, Ill ‘soramimi’ YOUR ‘cake’…

  6. Baka-Raptor says:

    I gave you a fair warning: I Will Eat Your Food

  7. Amex_Yohko says:

    Does the grilled crocodile up there taste good? I never eat a crocodile before…

  8. Baka-Raptor says:

    That grilled crocodile/iguana-on-a-stick must’ve tasted good, otherwise Raki would’ve cried about it:

    Citing the pictures from top to bottom:

    Aria the Origination, Shakugan no Shana II, Kanon 2002, Aria the Origination, You’re Under Arrest, H2O, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann x 2, Claymore, Umisho, ShizNat fanart

  9. Aniki says:

    You’re a self-serving asshole…

    Maddox would be proud!!

  10. […] of eating other people’s food, I wish I still had some of my brother’s birthday cake. Oh wait, there’s some right […]

  11. […] Meanwhile, Raki died. Clare panicked because Claymores aren’t allowed to kill humans. Confessing that humans aren’t allowed to kill humans either, I offered to help Clare dispose of the body. We ultimately fed Raki’s corpse to a desert crocodile. […]

  12. […] lesser beasts, I order Large Meat Lover’s Pizza for only $11.99*! Anime no longer sets unreasonable standards for food thanks to Pizza […]

  13. […] are passé. Lesbians are the wave of the future. They make everything better. Take my brother’s birthday cake. Think it can’t get any better? Try adding […]

  14. Gnarfard says:

    Lesbians are all robots programmed to get males interested in them

    obviously 😀

  15. amayalee says:

    You know, that always always ALWAYS ticked me off in anime. It really really did. If the anime is completely crappy, the food still looks good. Americans can’t accomplish that level of cuisine. T.T I always get so hungry when I watch anime.

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