Higurashi is a bad show for meanies

First of all, Mion’s boobs are way too big. Then we find out that she has a twin with equally large (if not slightly larger) boobs. Just what anime needs: more boobs. Boobs and twins. Twins and boobs. Ugh.

If you’re not into boobs, there’s always Rika. Everybody seems to think she’s cute, just because she won the title of cutest anime girl in that SaiMoe tournament. Well let me tell you, there’s nothing cute about murder, suicide, and crows pecking at your disemboweled corpse. Honestly, who wants to watch a cute little girl flipping out and killing people? Not me.

You don’t want to know what happens next

One day these kids are playing cards; the next day they’re slaughtering villagers. That’s not cute – it’s satanic and sets a bad example for our children. Remember that girl in Japan who bludgeoned her father with a hatchet? She said, in these exact words:

“I slashed my father with a hatchet because a girl did something similar on Higurashi and it’s cool and I’ll be popular in school.”

Thankfully, Higurashi got canceled and nobody ever got axe-murdered again.

Some dummies claim that Higurashi is brilliant. If that’s the case, where are all the metaphors? Since when does an intricate plot without intricate metaphors give anyone an intellectual hard-on? The only thing I liked about Higurashi was the opening theme – until I got a noise complaint for blasting it at 4AM.

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I even tried fandubbing it, but Jahshaka kept crashing on me. That’s the last time I ever use open source software. Everything about Higurashi is cursed.