Kure-nai: Crappy Plot, Crappy Show

I tried to be reasonable. I tried to be delicate. I tried to make a serious point with class and grace. What did it get me? A ton of inane comments ignoring all my arguments and reiterating the same hollow crap: Kure-nai is awesome and Plot doesn’t matter.

The only one who didn’t whore himself to this orgy of ignorance was good old reliable Keke (korosora and blissmo came too late). To reward Keke’s loyalty, I entrusted him with the duty of whipping peasants who fail to bow during my processions.

Now there’s no holding back. I’m bashing everything Kure-nai has to offer. I’m chewing it up and spitting it out. I’m comparing it to Kanokon. If you love Kure-nai, I will make you puke. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

1. The Plot is Crap

The next dumbass who says Plot doesn’t matter gets maced by Keke.

I understand that this is fiction. Some level of deference must be awarded to the creators, but you need to draw the line where stupidity eclipses plausibility. Does Kure-nai’s plot make any sense? You be the judge:

  1. A “dispute mediator” helps a little girl escape the household of her powerful plutocratic family.
  2. The mediator assigns the girl to live with her weakest, poorest, youngest subordinate, and she justifies her decision with nothing more than a hunch.
  3. They make no attempt to disguise the girl whatsoever.
  4. The subordinate has to go to school, leaving the girl unsupervised for most of the day.
  5. The girl wanders outside all the time, often alone. The mediator doesn’t care. In fact, she expressly allows it.
  6. She gets caught. Duh.

Nobody gives a shit if the girl sings and dances with her neighbors. She shouldn’t be living there in the first place. Send her to a guy who isn’t stupid enough to leave his doors unlocked. If he has a bathroom in his apartment, great, the girl will never have to expose herself in public every day to take a bath. If she has to go out, give her a wig. Holy shit, I should be a dispute mediator.

2. The Characters are Crap

The only decent character is the lady who stands guard outside the love hotel. Everyone else is worthless:

Murasaki: This prissy little bitch is exactly what I was talking about when I said that most anime girls don’t act their age. I don’t want to hear a little girl spewing bullshit relationship advice. I don’t want to hear her wishing for big breasts to please her man. I just don’t want to hear her, period.

Kurenai: Can’t fight. Sure, in some scenes he’s ok. Then in the next scene he just stands there, lets a guy punch him, and responds with a clinch. A little advice for Kurenai: street fights don’t play by the Marquess of Queensberry boxing rules.

Benika: She thinks she’s the fucking Delphi Oracle. Leaving the girl with your least capable subordinate based on nothing more than a hunch? Give me a break. For my 6th grade English class I wrote story about a guy who found a magical box due to a hunch. My teacher said it sucked. Should Kure-nai be held to a lower standard than my 6th grade English papers?

The classmate girls: Sluts.

The neighbors: Sluts.

3. The Dialogue is Crap

Three people talking at the same time – so fucking clever. Why don’t we see that more often? Oh yeah, because it’s irritating. Makes me want to throw porcupines at my neighbor.

A typical scene goes something like this:

Neighbor #1: Am I a good woman?

Murasaki: Yes, you’re a good woman.

Neighbor #1: But I’m actually a cheap slut who wantonly deceives men.

Murasaki: I think you’re a good woman on the inside.

Neighbor #2: Men are like Macs and Woman are like PCs: Men work.

After hearing the Kure-nai’s high-tech relationship analogy, I immediately looked up the show’s original creator and confirmed that he was a man, making all this good woman gossip/relationship philosophy from a female perspective conjectural bullshit. However, he did nail the point about how women can’t stop talking about themselves.

UPDATE:

Maybe the plot isn’t so bad after all…

Episode 9 just FUBAR’ed any hope of a decent plot: [spoiler]

After Kurenai and Murasaki escape, Kurenai wants to go back to their apartment, the most dangerous place they could possibly be, just so Murasaki can properly say goodbye to their neighbors. They meet up with the neighbors and have dinner, but despite the perfect opportunity, Murasaki never says goodbye (in fact, she implies that she won’t be going anywhere). Kurenai just stood there smiling. Then Kurenai and Murasaki take some time to pack clothes and make out. Finally, Murasaki gets caught and Kurenai gets his ass kicked, again.

[/spoiler]

At least Shin gets his sluts and lolis: [spoiler]

[/spoiler]