The ShizNat in the Rye

The ShizNat in the Rain

Blame this post on Michael:

Michael: I’m trying to get a bunch of anime bloggers to write about The Catcher in the Rye. We’ll all read each other’s posts and laugh and dance and be merry and gay. I know it might sound like a circle-jerk, but trust me, it’s definitely not a circle-jerk.

Me: But I haven’t read the book.

Michael: That’s ok, it’s not like I’m asking you to partake in a circle-jerk or anything. I’m just trying to get some coincidentally male bloggers to come together and have a blast. We’ll have loads of fun – definitely not a circle-jerk!

Me: I don’t know, it sounds like a circle-jerk…

Michael: IT’S NOT A CIRCLE-JERK!

Me: I’ll think about it.

The book was cheap so I read it. Now behold as I make the greatest contribution to literary discourse ever.

The Catcher in the Rye is about some dude named Holden who gets kicked out of his boarding school. He doesn’t want to return home before his parents receive official notice of his expulsion, so he bums around New York for a few days. A lot of crazy shit happens, but none of it was crazier than the time Holden spent the night at Mr. Antolini’s house.

Holden hates people. He frequently rants about all the “phonies” he sees. However, there was one person Holden deeply admired: Mr. Antolini, his former teacher. Holden recalled an incident when a bullied student jumped out a window. All the other witnesses gawked at the bloody mess instead of trying to help, but Mr. Antolini rushed to the student and single-handedly carried him all the way to the infirmary. Holden knew he could count on Mr. Antolini, so as he was running low on money towards the end of his trip, he decided to spend the night at Mr. Antolini’s place. Everything was going fine until Holden woke up in the middle of the night after feeling Mr. Antolini’s hand stroking his forehead. Thinking that Mr. Antolini was making a gay pass at him, Holden freaked out and ran away.

Natsuki = Holden

Shizuru = Mr. Antolini

Shizuru was the only person Natsuki considered a friend. When Natsuki was all alone, Shizuru reached out to her. Whenever Natsuki needed a favor, Shizuru was willing to help. When Natsuki’s underwear was stolen, she headed straight to Shizuru (though never made it). Natsuki trusted Shizuru – until she found out that Shizuru may or may not have sexually assaulted her while she was asleep. Just like Holden, Natsuki assumed her friend was a homosexual, freaked out, and ran away.

The moral of this story is that you shouldn’t be so homophobic as to assume people are gay just because they touch you while you’re sleeping. It could all be a misunderstanding. Holden had been through a rough trip and looked sick. Perhaps Mr. Antolini touched Holden’s forehead to check if he had a fever. Similary, Shizuru only stripped naked and snuggled with Natsuki because Natsuki was suffering from hypothermia and needed Shizuru’s body heat to recover.

And even if they are gay, is that so wrong? As Holden was running away from Mr. Antolini’s house, he recalled how much he respected Mr. Antolini, yet he wouldn’t go back. On the other hand, Natsuki decided to confront Shizuru after remembering how much she loved her. The two of them resolved their differences/fought to the death, died, came back to life, and got spun off to an alternate dimension where they lived happily ever after.

UPDATE: Michael’s circle-jerk has grown to point-line-triangle-square-pentagon-hexagon-septagon-octagon-jerk magnitudes:

52 people love sucking up to me

  1. P.S. I didn’t put it in my post since Daniel would probably be putting it, but anyone can join and we can just link one another. I’ll be updating my links by the end of the day, for example, to link to people who participate. If you’ve read The Catcher in the Rye, feel free to link to us, and we’ll also link back to you! Just jump in. πŸ™‚

    That scene simply proved Holden was immature enough to treat of what is a caring act to be a homosexual one. The whole novel is a novel of alienation, but even if Holden didn’t change at the end of the novel, at least he still looks on to the future. He’s like me especially after I read Finnegans Wake. No matter how disgusted we may become, we must look both backward and forward, but we must move on forward. Always.

  2. ShizNat!! I like that TTGL style.

    Thanks Baka-Raptor. I love Catcher in the Rye – and you’ve even explained to me the in-depth meaning that I could never understand before! So I suppose if p-bear is ever sighted in my vicinity touching a child, I’ll assume he’s just trying to check for a fever. :]]

    Woah. I’m one sick and cruel-hearted person…

  3. @Micheal: I don’t know if I’ll be able to find it here. Maybe a Japanese translation… but it sounds a handful enough in English. Anyways, from what Baka-Raptor wrote, it sounds like your typical BL anime, only the protagonist runs away instead of realizing his stupidity and reciprocating for the sake of fan-pandering. But I somehow doubt that’s the kind of juxtaposition you’d want -_-“

  4. @Michael: You can only whore one thing at a time. Pick your circle-jerk or your masturbatory post on Finnegans Wake.

    @issa-sa: Michael would say read the book, I’d say watch the anime. The book is cheap and easy, just like Michael. However, My-Hime has ShizNat! Approximately 20% of my posts are tagged ShizNat. If you’re a true fan of this site, you’ll watch My-Hime.

    @Hoshi: I don’t get what this whole pedobear craze is about. If I saw a bear touching children, I wouldn’t worry about the kids getting molested; I’d worry about the kids getting digested!

    @digitalboy: True, The Catcher in the Rye is the most emo book I’ve ever read. No wonder so many people want it banned.

    @C.I.: Just like ShizNat!

  5. Let’s all hold hands together and sing for shiznat and world peace (sounds hippie).
    Guys can be tough outside but have a sensible side burried inside of them, and when this side comes out to the outside world , everyone thinks it’s gay…but it’s not the truth…it’s just that they are accostumate to see him as a tough guy…
    Everyone has light and shadow in their heart…but the fact is (and it has been show in anime’s too) only a matter of how much of this light or shadow you let the others see in you…this is how things works and even if baka-raptor says everyone is gay for showing his sensitive side, i know that himself is beeing gay for worrying so much , as telling this to others show how much you worry about the other person, because if you didn’t care about him…you would reaaly not care if he’s beeing gay or not.
    Congrats baka-raptor, this was an awesome post of you.

  6. Baka-Raptor: I wrote the post for the sense of community, but my ‘heart’s desire’ (quoting Faulkner) was that post on Finnegans Wake. While I’d very much like to support this endeavor of ours, I would like more people to agree with me regarding Wake’s lack of merit. I wasn’t whoring, also. I mean, this isn’t a masturbatory circle-jerk because it’s open for everyone to join. But a lot of people don’t know the mechanics, so I thought it was a good idea to elaborate on. Since I could fit my post in there, I just decided to do so. What’s so wrong with that?

    I’m cheap and easy!? And I thought I tried hard to write regarding more cognitive subject matters. πŸ™

    It’s open to everyone. Again, just pick an anime you like and compare it to Catcher, then link to us for us to know. πŸ™‚

    issa-sa: Again, I would very much recommend The Catcher in the Rye for an easy read. Of course I also recommend what Sarv suggests, i.e. to watch the anime series. However, Catcher is available anywhere you go. It’s quite a popular classic, so I think it’s around your place, no matter how obscure that place may seem to you. I mean, it’s also here in the Philippines!

    For better books, however, The Sound and the Fury would never go out of my recommendations, and it’s a more challenging read as well (if any of you thought Catcher was too easy).

    I would absolutely not recommend Finnegans Wake, however, as the link on my previous two posts attests to. But if you want to enjoy nonsense, feel free to read it! πŸ™‚

  7. @TheBigN: It’s interesting how easily issa-sa can seem to tie things to BL.

    @Laguna: It’s true, I’m kind and caring, but in a totally straight, manly way!

    @Michael: Get thee to a nunnery.

  8. @otou-san: It’s even better than issa-sa’s tying JD to BL. And yes, I agree that digitalboy would like the book. Definitely up his alley.

    @Yamcha: Would you like her in a house? Would you like her with a mouse? Would you like her in a box? Would you like her with a fox? Would you like her here or there? Would you like her anywhere?

  9. Well, homosexuality between women is always more tolerable than between men. That’s a psychological thing. I don’t think it changes the interpretation of the similarities, but still it’s a notable difference*.

    ___________
    *Of course the difference is as simple as the pleasure of watching yuri action.

  10. There’s really one thing that I found tremendously fucked up about the story, but it’s not one you could pick up on without being forced to study that period when you’re assigned the book senior year. Basically, after the end of the story, Holden gets lobotomized. They didn’t use the word ‘eccentric’ for anyone who wasn’t fucking rich out the ass. Guess what word they defaulted to!

  11. Baka-Raptor: But you’re not a scientific authority! :3

    LJ: I also didn’t notice that Holden was lobotomized. Maybe it was another book you’ve read?

  12. I fear something may be wrong with your final remark: a circle can’t really grow into a pentagon – I was told that circles have an infinite number of sides, so it’s more of a reduction.

  13. The protagonist of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is lobotomized in the final part of the book, and these two books are taught at a similar age level, so perhaps that is where the confusion is.

    I have to say, if I had thought of comparing books to anime when I was growing up, the classics would’ve been a lot more bearable.

  14. “Well, homosexuality between women is always more tolerable than between men. That’s a psychological thing. I don’t think it changes the interpretation of the similarities, but still it’s a notable difference*.”

    Indeed, double standards can be interesting that way. πŸ˜›

  15. @Michael: That may be so. I may very well be remembering some footnote in a textbook about the way even the ‘endearingly eccentric’ were treated by psychiatric wards.

  16. @Michael: Well I’m sorry Mr. Pre-Med!

    @lelangir: Sure, why not.

    @blissmo: Would you read it in a house? Would you read it with a mouse? Would you read it in a box? Would you read it with a fox? Would you read it here or there? Would you read it anywhere?

    @IKnight: It works. Trust me. Think of a circle-jerk as an abstract class and an n-sided polygon-jerk an extending class.

    public abstract class circle-jerk{…}

    public class n-jerk extends circle-jerk{…}

    Feel free to fill in the rest.

    @Niles: Lobotomies solved everything back in the day. What has science done!

  17. LJ: I think Niles got the book you were talking about. Ken Kesey wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and in the end the protagonist was lobotomized, because he couldn’t be controlled by Nurse Ratched. Jack Nicholson (ever-lovable madman) played Randle McMurphy.

  18. NOTE TO ALL: I WILL BE GOING AN ON INVOLUNTARY HIATUS THIS WEEK BECAUSE I’M MOVING (FROM THIS ROOM) AND WON’T HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION. I WILL USE THE TIME TO MARATHON KAIJI, FINISH EVANGELION, AND BEAT FFXII. IF YOU DON’T SEE YOUR COMMENTS APPROVED, IT’S BECAUSE I HATE YOU.

  19. I didn’t get involved in this because Catcher in the Rye is my ex-girlfriend’s favorite novel, and I’m bitter, so she and everything she loves can go to hell.

    Anyway, you are now my favorite literary critic. Imagine how delighted my professors will be in two or three weeks when I propose projects using the Baka-Raptor approach to fiction.

  20. What the hell? You guys think I’d like this story? I read the plot summary and I can only see myself hating it. Main character sounds like a complete cunt. Plus it’s 277 pages – fuuuuuuck that.

  21. ShizNat is one of the greatest names for a pairing, EVER. And Baka-Raptor, your pedobear quote is awesome x10,000,000.

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