The Diamond Dust Rebellion: The Perfect Filler Movie?

No, but don’t expect filler movies to get much better.

But Baka-Raptor, if you give a filler movie a positive review, won’t that encourage the production of more filler?

No. Filler gets made no matter what I say. Positive reviews will at least promote the production of higher quality filler. When filler gets panned regardless of its merits, producers have no incentive to invest any time or money into raising the quality of their filler. Consider the Power Rangers movies.

Unlike your typical dumbass Power Rangers villains, the enemy in the first movie, Ivan Ooze, was a wily sarcastic badass who tricked children into becoming his zombie slaves. The fight scenes were well choreographed, and the writing was, well, bearable. Nevertheless, the critics all blasted the movie because they were disappointed that Ivan Ooze didn’t molest any of the children. When the second movie was made, do you think the producers cared about making it good? It was going to get criticized anyway; why bother trying?

Good thing you can always count on me for honest, unbiased reviews. I give credit where credit’s due. Just keep in mind, if you’re looking for an animated theatrical masterpiece, don’t watch a Bleach movie. I wouldn’t even recommend a Naruto movie. The entertainment value of a filler movie is constrained by its inevitable return to normalcy. Nothing in the filler can conflict with the original show in any way (nobody dies [except for nameless characters and villains unique to the filler], the plot remains unchanged, etc…). What does that leave? Fanservice.

Badass fight scenes
Nearly every named character getting screen time
Zaraki going berserk
Matsumoto pining for Gin
Rukia sleeping in Ichigo’s closet
Nanao being tsundere for her lazy captain
Soifon being gay for Yoruichi
Everybody sucking up to Aizen because he rules
Ishida’s 1200 rapes per second
Chad’s mangled Spanish
The old captain verbally abusing his inferiors
No Kon
No Dondochakka
No Pesche
No Renji x Ichigo Yaoi
No emotional flashbacks to Ichigo’s childhood
No Themes of Friendship/Optimism/Compassion
Themes of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge

A major strength of this movie is that it focuses on existing characters instead of spending substantial time developing movie-only characters. Too bad they had to pick Hitsugaya as the lead just because he’s young and Japanese kids think they can relate to him. Next time we need a movie about the lazy captain and how Nanao has steamy fantasies about him.

Final Grade: + (overall) / ++ (for a filler movie) / ~ (for an anime movie)

38 people love sucking up to me

  1. Why did you watch this in the first place?

    You should check out my blog, I have Code Geass endings and doesn’t afraid of anything. 😀

    On a more serious note, I dropped Bleach after the SS arc. They could and should have ended the series after that arc; instead, they protracted it and made it obnoxious. I’ll pick up Bleach if it ends. But it most probably won’t, so I’ll avoid most shounen for now.

  2. @issa-sa: You knew it’d hurt, yet you read my post anyway. I admire your spirit. Have a Maid Guy Badge.

    @Inuhanyou: Dammit, that’s another problem with filler. We won’t get any decent filler about the lazy captain until his moves are revealed in the manga (which will hopefully be in the next few chapters).

    @Dancing Queen: I see that my post shook you so much that you’re unable to string together a coherent sentence.

    @Michael: It’s called “selling out.” Writing about Bleach will get me readers. Also, I have nothing better to watch. Seriously. The only shows I’m currently watching that are consistently subbed are World Destruction, Soul Eater, Bleach, Naruto, Code Geass R2, and Blassreiter (probably the best one on this crappy list). Pass the beer.

  3. I’m writing about Code Geass R2, but I’m just enjoying myself. I’ve been too uptight lately, and it’s fun just shooting the shit once in a while.

    Dancing Queen: It’s all right, watching Bleach does that to your brain.

    P.S. I’m also shipping Nanao Ise and Kyouraku-taichou. She’s SO tsundere for him, lol.

  4. Ugh, the last Bleach movie was so mind-numbingly bad that I walked out in anger less than a third of the way through. When I came back an hour later to watch the end, well, predictable doesn’t even begin to describe the lackluster plot. That memory chick might be the single most annoying anime character after Ichigo (every time he put up with her stupid crap I wanted to hit him). I started watching Bleach after the Bounto arc was through – I watched the first episode and thought, this is pretty sweet, I know why my friends have ben trying to get me to watch it. The second episode sucked, and it was downhill from there. Since I had all the eps, I skipped the Bounto arc, but when Grimmjow Jaegerjaques (does win the prize for best anime name) comes out art starts flying, and the show finishes its final transformation into DBZ, I swore a blood oath to never again waste a minute of my life on that series.

    The main problem with Bleach is the lack of character development; new people are introduced and we are just expected to care about them with almost no exploration of why they behave the way they do. In the first 5 episodes when we meet that Orihime chick, all of a sudden she has these family problems we are supposed to care about, but she is given hardly any screen time, and her memories are given even less. You can’t force meaning on me, Bleach! Constantly introducing mew people and never explaining their existence is a big part of what makes Bleach unwatchable. Another big thing is its annoying tendency to use some annoying moe device or chibi interlude in the serious parts. Every time a plot gets semi-interesting, or someone says something poignant, Kon jumps out and screeches something stupid, or Ichigo gets some retarded facial expression, or something else totally out of context occurs. I put up with it it FMA because the story was so good, but Bleach gets no such exemption.

    That being said, I did enjoy the fight scenes, and the animation of the last movie was pretty sweet, so if you’re saying that this movie has none of those stupid side characters and no Kon, then I may just give this one a try. All in all, though, with all the letdown from the hype about this show, I really feel robbed by it. The setting is neat, the plot could have worked, and even some of the characters are interesting, but the complete lack of development and the refusal to to ever be serious nets Bleach my title of most disappointing anime of all time – it’s the poster child for wasted potential.

  5. I went to see the first Power Rangers movie in theaters and thought that it was great! Of course, that may have had more to do with the fact that I was 8 years old rather than the quality of the movie.

  6. That’s rather peculiar. This season brings almost lots of shitty shows with no value and only a couple of things bareable. I can’t imagine why would any decent anime fan stand to watch such shit. It’d be better to waste time on slightly better tv series. Why should we restrict ourselves only to a particular form of japanese animation? If the producers give to us a huge middle finger, then why don’t we do the same?

    I read Code Geass drunken rants only to reassure me that once more, I managed to not waste a half an hour.

    I can understand how were you able to watch this bleach movie, but the actual series? And Naruto? Good grief, that’s masochism. Forcing yourself to watch, and actually convincing of qualities of such shows is like intentionally developing some perverted deviations.

    Anyway, good work selling out. Don’t forget to install secret hypnotising messages in your posts that’ll allow to control the minds of fans of crappy shows lured by the innocent titles.

  7. @jiff
    But the fight scenes are cool. Thus all is forgiven.

    I’m still waiting to see Kenpachi’s Bankai. It’ll probably be some form of sadistic, masochistic animal.

  8. Uh…I kinda liked the movie? Though I thought it was a bit much that they had to use EVERYONE’S effing signature move.

    And they made Ikkaku say something as gay as “Hey guys, please keep this a secret from everyone!”. WTF.

  9. @Michael: Nobody wants to read your Code Geass spoilers.

    @jiff: Your comment out-worded my post 458 to 422. Any worthwhile response to your comment would also hit the 400 range, and I have a policy against making my comments longer than my actual posts. I’ll address your points in a later post. For now, sit tight knowing that I agree with almost everything you said.

    @Joe: Allow me to summarize how jiff views Bleach:

    @Akira: Give your 8-year-old self some more credit. I thought it kicked ass, and I was much older (10).

    @Coaxen: Slightly better TV series? By all means, recommend one. The only non-sports non-anime TV I’ve watched over the past two years has been Heroes, The Colbert Report, and reruns of The Fresh Prince.

    @Omisyth: We still gotta see Zaraki’s Shikai. I can’t begin to imagine how many rapes per second his bankai would achieve.

    @Dancing Queen: Time heals all wounds (except the mortal ones). You’ll get over it.

    @A Day Without Me: I have it on VHS.

    @digitalboy: If you really love filler movies, you’ll watch this.

    @Riex: Yeah, the Ikkaku line was pretty lame. But everyone using their best moves was part of the fanservice! Besides, the universe was at stake.

  10. But Hitsugaya is a badass, regardless of whatever Japanese kid has whatever kind of imaginary relationship with him. The whole white hair thing is sublimely badass in an exquisite, refined way.

    Out of the last three points you listed, the absence of the first two makes me actually want to watch this, sorta, just for the action.

    @Jiff: In visceral action, character development isn’t really even something I’d pay attention to let alone care about…wait, what was that? Afro Samurai 2, you say?


  11. FanService BADAAAAAAAAAASSS. It’s just like naruto’s, it is always good to watch a filler movie from a “filler” series that you like. Specially if it is related with something you’ve already seen before ->

    Even if the show is a total crap (I never liked bleach) ->

    And if it starts to piss everybody else ->

    The more fillers it gets , the more you will love to watch them !
    There’s even a special technique to do it ->

    But if you ever feel disappointed , you can always write your own scripts for the character’s lines…for instance:

    …at least the grades are aceptable

  12. Coaxen missed some points, but i totally agree with him in one point: watching Bleach or Naruto in it’s today’s form is not different from self-masochism.

  13. I stopped watching Bleach when it became “my power level *cough* sorry, REIATSU level is higher than yours”.

    Anyway my comment on your post is rendered useless because I have not watched the Bleach filler movie, nor will I ever watch it.

  14. @Michael: Yep, I’ve seen your site, nice work you’re doing there ;>

    @Baka-Raptor: Well, given I have very little free time and can’t afford to watch everything I would like, I have only one particular tv series that deserves my time. House MD, you have surely heard about it. Or maybe you even watched it and ditched it. Anyway, I usually don’t pay much attention to all the medical gore like somebody being a blood-springing pain-container and enjoy the witty humour.
    Besides, youtube effectively replaced my TV, since there are such wonderful channels like sXePhil, Runawaybox, TeamFourStar, RiffTrax(that’s a lot more enjoyable than watching actual movies), CardGamesFTW, TheAmazingAtheist, SomeGreyBloke, Mickipedia, PatCondell and a lot more.
    Also, I’m not sure you know about how a crappy filler series can be transformed into a hilarious abridged parody of a filler series. That’s probably what you demand: higher quality filler entertainment.

    The internet is “our era’s most prominent communication tool”. There’s a lot more than blogs and torrents there, so it’s commendable to search for good stuff, and don’t settle on watching everything that those fancy high-budget moneygrabbing production studios try to sell to us.

  15. The first Bleach movie, Memories of Nobody was actually kind of good. I probably won’t check out DDR simply because of the sell-out factor of putting Hitsu in the spotlight. As boring as Ichigo is, Bleach is HIS story.

  16. @A Day Without Me: “Your” works just fine.

    @Laguna: Excellent summary. But if I don’t cover Bleach and Naruto, how will I get any hits? Naruto Filler is my all-time most popular post. Maybe I should do a Naruto post next…

    @Nagato: You mean episode 1?

    @Coaxen: I’ve heard good things about House. Never watched any YouTube channels, but I may as well check those out too. Either that or start watching another harem anime.

    @C.I.: How can you say that if you haven’t even given the show a chance?

    @Yamcha: Nice to know that at least one person read my mouse-overs.

  17. @Baka-Raptor:

    I’m doing filler posts too, but it’s mainly about non-Anime things that are good. Like Sweeney Todd and Spore.

    By the way, I read your mouse-overs but couldn’t understand the jokes. Am I so out of touch? This is what happens when you actually study for a week instead of watching Anime.

  18. Filler Anime deserves to die… I’ll tell you why, Baka-Raptor, tell you why… There are two kinds of Filler Anime, Baka-Raptor, there are two kinds of filler only two, there’s the kind that moves at a glacial pace and the pointless plot arcs that get in your face, IT ALL DESERVES TO DIE… just like Naruto and Kurenai… AND HARUHI LIES IN ASHES, WILL I NEVER SEE ANOTHER SEASON AGAIN?

  19. @Asperger’s Anime Blogger – Oh wow…ROFLMAO! I would have been pissed off at you for ripping off Sweeney Todd, had you not done it so well! Kudos….And yes, will we never see another season? HARUHI!! T.T

  20. @Laguna: Congratulations on learning some HTML! The images might not work (unless I’m putting them in), but you should be able to control links and font faces (bold, italic, etc…). Comment boxes often protect against certain types of html tags because you can stick some nasty stuff in there.

    @Asperger’s & amayalee: “There are two kinds of filler anime” – sure it’s not a parody on World Destruction?

  21. @Baka – So, basically, it was tolerable at first with a few good parts, and then more and more people decided it was really good as it quickly became unbearable to anyone with a brain, despite it inexplicably receiving acclaim and awards?

  22. Seeing as how this was not only a Bleach movie, but a filler movie as well, I was surprised at how good it was. The storyline wasn’t anything too great, but all the good characters got screen time and the fight scenes were pretty epic. That instantly makes the movie better than canon.

    P.S. I hate Bleach

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