No Receipt? No Return.

The day after Christmas is a magical time when people flock to stores to return all the crappy gifts they’ve received. Certain anime personalities would like to make returns as well…


Lelouch: Hello, I’d like to return this stupid-looking hat.

Baka-Raptor: Do you have a receipt?

Lelouch: No

Baka-Raptor: No receipt, no return.

Lelouch: Take it back – Lelouch vi Britannia commands you!

Baka-Raptor: That won’t work. I’ve already been Geassed once.

Lelouch: Can I at least get store credit?

Baka-Raptor: No, get lost.


Tsukasa: Hi, can I return my cell phone?

I’m told this scene is supposed to be funny

Baka-Raptor: Is it broken?

Tsukasa: No, I’m just too stupid and useless to know how to use it.

Baka-Raptor: Too bad.

Tsukasa: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Baka-Raptor: Get lost.


Kurenai: Hello, I’d like to return this Murasaki.

Baka-Raptor: All Murasakis must be returned directly to the manufacturer.

Kurenai: You mean her pedophilic incestual rapist family?

Baka-Raptor: Yes.

Kurenai: Sure, I see no problem with that. I’d also like to return my bone-sword.

Baka-Raptor: Why?

Kurenai: Having a retractable scythe grafted to your arm isn’t “true power.”

Baka-Raptor: Yes it is. Get lost.


The Other Kurenai: Hello, I’d like to return these birth-control pills.

Baka-Raptor: They didn’t work?

The Other Kurenai: Ordinary means of contraception are no match for Asuma’s potent seed.

Baka-Raptor: When did you buy them?

The Other Kurenai: Last month.

Baka-Raptor: Sorry, there’s a 30-day return limit.


Saji: Hello sir, I would like to return this tambourine.

Baka-Raptor: Why?

Saji: Krauser raped it.

Baka-Raptor: You idiot, that just makes it more valuab— I mean, yes, I’ll take it.

Saji: Yay! *does a geyyyy dance*


Random Soul Eater Character: Hello, I’d like to return this Excalibur.

Baka-Raptor: Not again…

Random Soul Eater Character: He’s so damn annoying.

Baka-Raptor: Just put him back where you found him.

Faeries: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Tite Kubo: Would it be possible to return this Dondochakka and Pesche? It has come to my attention that they are the shittiest characters in the history of anime.

Baka-Raptor: Why not kill them off? It’s all in my script.

Tite Kubo: Thanks!

Baka-Raptor: You’re welcome.


Sesshoumaru: Hello, I would like to return this Toukijin.

Baka-Raptor: What’s the matter?

Sesshoumaru: ¡Mi espada se rompió!

Baka-Raptor: You’ll have to take this claim over to Baja-Raptor over in the Spanish department.

Sesshoumaru: I was just there. He told me to come here.

Baka-Raptor: Sorry, only the Spanish department can handle this transaction.

Sesshoumaru: BUT I WAS JUST THERE!

Baka-Raptor: The rules are the rules.

Sesshoumaru: Dammit…


Shizuru: Hello, I would like to return this Nao.

Baka-Raptor: Have you used her?

Shizuru: Just once…

Baka-Raptor: Is she in her original packaging?

Shizuru: Possibly

Baka-Raptor: Do you have a receipt?

Shizuru: Yes

Baka-Raptor: Ok


Alicia: Hello!

Baka-Raptor: Why hello there.

Alicia: Ara ara! I would like to return this gondola!

Baka-Raptor: Is there a problem with it?

Alicia: No, but I won’t be needing it anymore now that I’m retired and getting married.

Baka-Raptor: You’re retired and getting married?! Get out!

Alicia: Ara ara, I’m serious!

Baka-Raptor: I’m serious too! Get out! *throws beer can at Alicia*

Athena: Excuse me, I’d like to return my gondola too.

Baka-Raptor: Didn’t you return yours last night?

Athena: Oh yeah


Kenshiro: Hello, I would like to return this flamethrower.

Baka-Raptor: What’s wrong with it?

Kenshiro: I have no need for it. Hokuto Shin Ken has been passed down for 2000 years. It is invincible.

Baka-Raptor: That doesn’t mean you can’t use a flamethrower once in a while. How about a 30-day trial? I’ll even throw in this gun for free!

Kenshiro: Sounds good.