Two Problems with Maria†Holic

1. Punchline Overkill

Holy shit, it’s like I’m watching Lucky Star all over again. Cut the bullshit punchline reinforcement and move on.

Even Kanako’s lesbian observations are getting on my nerves.

REALLY?!?!

Perhaps some viewers have difficulty picking up lesbian innuendo. Not me. My lesbian mangekyou sharingan identifies lesbian innuendo 100x faster than Kanako and without all the squealing.

When narration does nothing more than state the obvious, it gets annoying. I’m reminded of the Lingerie Bowl, a game of “football” played by hot women in lingerie. It was awesome—or at least it would’ve been if I’d had the sense to hit the mute button. The announcers put John Madden to shame with their inane commentary.

“Look at that ass!”

No shit, what else would I be looking at?

2. Kanako isn’t a Lesbian

If Kanako is actually a lesbian, why hasn’t she been groping the other girls? Girls are always groping each other, even the “straight” ones. Any true lesbian would undoubtedly take advantage of this natural lesbian tendency present in all women.

So Kanako likes looking at pretty girls in their underwear. All girls do. You need something more to be a true lesbian. Furthermore, she’s tall and stacked, a winning combination. She could easily seduce the other girls if she really wanted. The fact that she hasn’t proves she’s not a lesbian.

But Baka-Raptor, if Kanako isn’t a lesbian, what is she?

A typical wussy male anime lead in a girl’s body. Perhaps the biggest reason I enjoy watching lesbians in anime is that most male anime characters are pathetic. If I’m going to watch a show about a total pussy, it might as well be a girl.

UPDATE: Kanako’s song in episode 8 redeems her character, for now…

32 people love sucking up to me

  1. “if i’m going to watch a show about a total pussy, it might as well be a girl”

    if it’s male, then we call that faggotry! LOL

  2. @firstother: Bisexual is the presumptive sexuality of all women.

    @Z: Sadly, most of these lame male leads are not only straight, they end up with the girl. It pisses me off every time.

    @All: My computer crashed during the train-crossing scene of 5 Centimeters per Second. My life sucks.

  3. You forget that Kanako is operating under the auspices of Mariya’s secret police, any overt action on her part would risk expulsion and we cannot have that now can we. Besides patience is a virtue she has already won over most of her class and is taking advantage of what opportunities that come. Unlike some other lesbians Kanako actually has to obtain consent first. Some times it is all about the mind games and certainly one is already dancing to her tune.

    I am sure Kanako would love to oblige, but this Mariya seems intent on making life hard for her. In truth Kanako is Hosaka trapped in a girl’s body, though it seems the random stripping was some how lost…

  4. It ain’t a lesbian post if doesn’t have a ShizNat picture.
    Only watched the first episode it was kinda of funny, but I agree too much talking is killing it.
    I’m kinda sick already with the SHAFT style.

  5. I was thinking about checking this show out but I don’t think I could sit through more Lucky Star type jokes again*shudders*. And the lesbian Sharingan was awesome. Too bad it cant compare to my lesbian Byakugan. It picks up all the lesbian innuendo within a 5 mile radius.

  6. @Crusader: That would explain the song in episode 8. Maybe she’s the cosplay fairy?

    @loli_slayer: The punchline overkill was most annoying in the first episode. It hasn’t been so bad lately (either that or I’ve gotten used to it). But the obvious observations are still going strong.

    @Eroshiyda: Seriously, what’s the point of being a lesbian if you’re not going to molest other girls? Kanako had a chance with RYUUKEN. She wasted it. Total failure of a lesbian.

    @Cesar Garcia: So I’ve heard.

    @j.valdez: Clearly, not all of us possess the lesbian mangekyou sharingan. Otherwise they would just be called eyes.

    @Thekungfukid: Careful, the Byakugan has a blind spot. You wouldn’t want to miss any lesbian action behind your first thoracic vertebra, would you?

  7. In the end, I think Kanako’s a lesbian no matter what. Even if she does fall in love with Mariya, she’ll still think of him as a girl and hence is still a lesbian.

  8. This show is obviously mocking of yuri fanboys, not to mentioned it also aired at the same time as fourth season of Maria-sama ga Miteru.

    Is there any shows that mocking of yaoi fangirls? surprisingly there is none.

  9. Srsly. I’m bisexual – that’s HALF a lesbian, mind you – and I’ve molested more girls than Kanako, a supposed full-on lesbian. That’s just sad. Fail, Kanako. Fail.

    So, Baka-Raptor… since you’re a lesbian in a man’s body, how many girls have you molested?

  10. @Aizen: Yes, she’ll think of him as a girl—until she goes for the crotch grab again. That reminds me, Kanako molested a dude in the first episode but still hasn’t molested a girl.

    @Koji Oe: If that’s the case, I’d hate to see the sumo wrestlers.

    @Amex_Yohko: Genshiken 2 had a yaoi-parody episode. Believe it or not, Karin did too.

    @Eroshiyda: My elbows have molested countless unsuspecting damsels. Sadly though, my elbows get more action than all my other body parts combined. Men aren’t allowed to molest without “consent.” Or alcohol.

  11. I actually have dropped Maria Holic since it got too boring. Kanako’s ceaseless narration was part of it, but after episode one the humor seriously degraded, and after episode three it just wasn’t really at all funny any more. Strawberry Panic works better as humor than this junk.

  12. @A Day Without Me: I hated Strawberry Panic with a burning passion. The ending made me go wtf since I never thought they would seriously get nekkid and DO IT.

  13. Episode 6 Spoilers: There’s still hope for those of us who want a satisfyingly yuri ending. I am, of course, referring to the fact that Mariya has a twin sister. Who else is hoping that at some point Mariya is gonna say something sweet and lovey-dovey that makes Kanako swoon, only to be revealed later it was actually his sister dressed as him, thus meaning Kanako fell for the girl after all? The laws of anime forbid the main character from falling for any of the supporting cast, but I posit that the twin-swap is an acceptable loophole to the rule.

  14. That happens. And men get sued for touching girls, it’s discrimination I tell you!

    Wellll, it’s most friggin’ obvious she’s gonna hook up with Kanako, if that’s her/his real name.

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