Summer 2009 Punchlines

Get it? Punch-lines?!

I’d like to write reviews about all the shows I watch, but as a sophisticated hyperbolic discounter, I realize that’s not going to happen. To insure against the possibility of never voicing my opinion on a show, I created a one-liners page, which recently fell into disuse when I created a My Anime List account. To make up for it, from now on I’m going write Season Recap posts such as this one in which I briefly yet informatively comment all the seasonal anime I’ve watched.

How many Canaan characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: Two to engage in lesbian combat and me to change the light bulb so I can watch

How many Bakemonogatari characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Four: Two to banter about something irrelevant and one to get Oshino Meme for help

How many Zan Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei characters does it take to change a light bulb?

The Entire Class: One to attempt to change the light bulb, Zetsubou-sensei to stop her because changing light bulbs is a metaphor for societal ills, the class to explore said societal ills through observations/interviews/alternate realities/bulleted lists/panty shots, and Kafuka to change to light bulb after explaining how it can be metaphorically positive.

How many Aoi Hana characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven: One lesbian to change the light bulb, three lesbians to cry about the light bulb getting more attention than them, three lesbians to cry involuntarily when they see the other lesbians crying, and none to do the payapaya.

How many Umineko no Naku Koro ni characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Nineteen: Six to be sacrificed, two to be torn apart, one to be gouged in the head, one to be gouged in the chest, one to be gouged in the belly, one to be gouged in the knee, one to be gouged in the leg, and five to die to resurrect the witch, who takes them to the Golden Land where everything is magically fixed, including the light bulbs.

How many Yoku Wakaru Gendai Mahou characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick Question: There are no light bulbs; the White Suit lights up the entire show

If you have any summer anime to recommend, speak now or forever hold your silence. I will also take recommendations for Fall 2009 anime. All shows recommended in light-bulb-joke format will be given priority.

Summer shows I may still watch (ordered from most likely to least likely):

  • Spice & Wolf II
  • Taishou Yakyuu Musume
  • Sora no Manimani

Fall 2009 shows I’m already watching/plan to watch:

  • Queen’s Blade II
  • Darker than Black II
  • Inu Yasha II
  • Nogizaka Haruka II

Tags: , , , ,

59 people love sucking up to me

  1. primeparadigm says:

    How many Tentai Senshi Sunred (Both Season 1 & 2) characters does it take to change a light bulb?

    3. One girlfriend to yell at her slacker NEET/”hero of justice” boyfriend to get off his bum to change the faulty lightbulb. Said hero to threaten his nemesis, the leader of an evil organization bent on world domination, to do it for him. The “evil” nemesis, being the outstanding member of the community and full-time housewife that he is, more than willing to help his enemy out only to be soundly and thoroughly thrashed by hero in their next duel.

  2. digitalboy says:

    How many Railgun characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two underage lesbians – one to grope the other’s chest until she surges with electricity and lights all the bulbs in a mile radius.

    How many Sasameki Koto characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Three underage lesbians – one to fall in love with the lightbulb, then fell dejected when the lightbulb doesn’t love her back, a second to comfort the first even though she is hurting because she loves her and the first loves the lightbulb, and a third who just wants everything to be bright again and replaces the lightbulb.

    How many Letter Bee characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    One, but he may die afterward if he uses too much of his heart in powering the bulb.

    How many Nyan Koi characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Three – one guy to try and change it, before one cat appears and causes him to flee in alergen before the girl who he was trying to impress by screwing in the lightbulb does it herself.

    How many Seitokai no Ichizon characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Fuck that lightbulb, they are never going to shut up long enough to screw that shit in, and if they do, they will make at least nine otaku jokes in the process.

    How many Sacred Blacksmith characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    No characters, just one INDESTRUCTIBLE BREASTPLATE!!!!

    In case you can’t tell, those are all endorsements.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      If season previews were more like this, I might actually read them.

      All these shows will be taken into consideration in a few weeks.
      – I have a lot of older stuff to catch up on first
      – It’ll give me a chance to see how opinion on these new shows changes after a few more episodes

      • digitalboy says:

        I’ll tell you now, The Sacred Blacksmith turned out to be complete shit. I also don’t think you will like Seitokai no Ichizon, and your opinion of Railgun is questionable. Otherwise, they all stand. I really think you’d like Nyan Koi and probably Letter Bee.

  3. Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 they need to replace a million lightbulbs and one tower.

  4. Guy says:

    How many 07-ghost characters does it take to change a light-bulb:
    Zero: One to angst, two to give him hope, three to cheer him up or give more talk to those who try to give him hope, 2 to try and create more angst, 5 to just fuck around and do nothing.
    End result: The light-bulb does not get changed… maybe after 50 episodes, it will πŸ˜‰

    Well, I’m sure fanficcers might pull a Canaan on you: They’d switch the light-bulb.

  5. Toonleap says:

    The lightbulb above my head cant be turned on because it is burnout so I will just tell the fall anime series I saw so far and liked it:
    Kimi no Todoka: Nice “Ringu” Romance anime
    Nyan Koi: Great Romance story with supernatural stuff that involves Cats
    Queens Blade 2: Needs no introduction

    Summer Anime I watched:
    Tokyo Magnitude 8.0: Very touching and it seems M.Night Shymalan (The sixth sense) was involved in this…”somehow”
    Endless Eight: WHAT????

  6. How many Kobato. characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Four – one to be bummed about something, Kobato to cheer them up and get the broken shard of their heart, Ioryogi to yell at Kobato for messing something up, and Takafuji to actually change the damn bulb.

    That makes Kobato sound pretty stupid, actually, but I really do recommend it, as it is a very charming show.

    How many 11eyes characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two – Yuka to attempt to do it so we can see her panties for the 800th time, and Kakeru to help her because she’s short.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      Kobato: I’ve heard a lot of people calling this show the cutest thing ever, which makes me wary. I’ll probably give in though because everyone in the universe is watching it. It’ll be my giri show.

      11eyes: It’s very hard to see a short girl’s panties (as I’m sure you know). The show is merely trying to give us what’s unattainable in reality. Is that so wrong?

  7. issa-sa says:

    How many Miracle Train characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Screw in a lightbulb… hrhrhr…

  8. Aoi Bungaku and Bantorra are my top recommendations~

    I’m too uncreative to think of something for the light bulb questions x_x Ehehe . . .

  9. Kabitzin says:

    Wait, you’re not a Canaan character, though… are you?

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      I’m Alphard’s Husband. They didn’t want to give me any screen time because it’d interfere with the yuri undertones. I found this to be a worthy cause and complied.

  10. IWICYI says:

    How many Aoi Bungaku characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The light bulb can’t be change because every woman is either too busy committing suicide or molesting young boy while every man is too busy persuading a woman to commit suicide or beat her up or have sex with her. For once , it has one of the most detailed sex scene that ever get broadcast on international tv , I suppose .

  11. TJ says:

    @digitalboy
    Lol Biri-biri from Railgun is more likely to destroy a couple thousand light bulbs in the process, thus the cycle will repeat until all light bulbs are destroyed.

    @Kabitzin
    Lol Baka-Raptor can insert himself into any anime he wants. That’s how he beats up Raki and such.

  12. RP says:

    Lesbians involuntarily crying at seeing other lesbians crying is freaking gold.

  13. Laguna Loire says:

    How many raptors are needed to do a filler post ?
    a baka one !

    tehehehe, but seriously, have you seen the poster image for fairy tail ? how many characters do you recognize there ?

    http://fc07.deviantart.com/fs22/f/2007/313/1/1/_Fairy_tail__by_Fairy_tail.jpg

    I can see, luffy, robin, nami, franky , vivi and ichigo.

    one Piece crossed with bleach ?

    definitely deserves a watch πŸ˜‰

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      Sounds good, I haven’t seen a good shonen anime in a while (Bleach and Naruto are currently on hold)

      • Laguna Loire says:

        Holy Shit ! You just doubled the number of comments in this post adopting this reply-style of blogging in the comments. =)

        I’ve just watched the first episode of fairy tail and although it is too early to say this, i can say it is a cross between these three mainstream…

        Think naruto, but except ninjas and ninjitsu, you have mages and final fantasy magic (summon magic included).
        The character design and atmosphere, with pirate ships and stuff, reminds me of one piece.
        Cute and useless flying little animals as seen in Bleach appears too, but i’ve yet to see a ghost of some kind…

        I guess it is too much to spoil for a first episode.

  14. Epi says:

    How many Saki characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One as long as all of their joints and breasts blush!! (okay that kinda sucked but I tried, and I know Saki is spring/summer, but c’mon it’s so good and yuri)

    BTW looks like we both choose the same CANAAN pic… good stuff :p

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      I’ll check out Saki once I learn how to play Mahjong. Yes, I watched all of Akagi without knowing how to play, and yes, it was awesome. But it would’ve been even better if I had any idea what was going on.

  15. Rakuen says:

    Oh you~. You shouldn’t have~.

    How many Canaan characters does it take to change a light bulb?

    Well, make it four, I’m in.

  16. Shounen A says:

    How many Kimi ni Todoke characters does it take to change a light bulb?

    Just one: The rest of the class is scared off by Sawako so that she’s the only one left to change the light bulb, and she is so nice that she actually changes it.

  17. Glo says:

    How many Natsu no Arashi characters does it take to change a light bulb.

    Answer 6: Two to go back in time and try and switch the light bulb with one that isn’t an invention of Jumpei’s, Three to argue about whether they can go back in time and get a refund for the light bulb, and one to ask for salt in the corner while everyone ignores him.

    How many Miracle Train characters does it take to change a light bulb?

    Answer: I don’t know that show is the worst show I’ve ever skimmed through briefly.

    Currently I’m watching InuYasha, Nyan Koi, and Queen’s Blade. Later I’ll pick up Nogizaka, Railgun, Todako, Natsu no Arashi, and maybe that lesbian one, there’s really not much out there, and my actual life is finally getting in the way.

  18. Shiro, Long Tail's says:

    How many GA: Geijutsuka Art Design Class characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Five. One to be clumsy and fail, two to be hyper and concoct a creative plan that involves parodying the power rangers, one to explain why their pixie stick influenced plan won’t work and a deadpan character to deliver the punch line and screw in the bulb.

    If the first two episodes are any indication tt’s like Hidamari Sketch, but with more Art jokes less bath time and a 1000x faster pacing.

  19. Praz says:

    How many Bode Millers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Trick question: This question makes the assumption that Bode Miller would be capable of screwing in a lightbulb without first getting drunk, losing at the olympics, and getting eaten by a yetti in the process, thus rendering him unable to screw in said lightbulb. And that would be downright nutty.

    Happy birthday, Bode Miller. Raptor-kun, Im surprised you didnt make a special ‘homepage’ in celebration of this auspicious occasion.

  20. […] back to your reaction to the sight of Kyouko’s tears during her discussion with Akira; as Baka-Raptor said, the lesbians of Matsuoka and Fujigaya cry about mostly insignificant things, and the rest of […]

  21. Kyoin says:

    I believe it’s time to watch some anime so I can understand the humor in this post.

  22. Yi says:

    Haha, the Aoi Hana question is so true, as are the others.

    Anyway, watch To Aru Kagaku no Railgun.

  23. Snark says:

    How many Shin Mazinger Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?

    One Hundred: 99 to pilot the easily defeateble Mazinger Corps robots, and 1 more to control the rocket punches hidden in each Mazinger Corps bot to fly out, combine into a giant rocket punch which will then change the light bulb.

  24. Jason says:

    * Queen’s Blade II
    * Darker than Black II
    * Inu Yasha II
    * Nogizaka Haruka II

    Noticed the consistent II’s. New material not interesting? πŸ™‚

  25. thekungfukid says:

    How many kungfukids does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two. One to put it in while the other watches Spectacular Spider-man on DisneyXD, which is surprisingly(?) better than any anime that’s out this season.

  26. Shin says:

    Taking your preferences into account, Sora no Otoshimono might just be right up your alley, bro.

    Also, I’m going to refrain from making light bulb jokes.

  27. rmt says:

    So Taiga beat Yui in saimoe 2009, what happened to Krauser-tan? I thought you were going to get her in it?

  28. FaS says:

    omfg, you’re hilarious. And a serious genius *bows down to pay homage* I love your posts πŸ™‚

  29. Chris K. says:

    How many anime fans does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, because they don’t need light to watch anime, plus if they changed the light bulb they’d see how dirty their room really is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Holy shit, a comment RSS feed!

baka-raptor@baka-raptor.com

Back to how much I rule...