You Are Umasou: No Objectionable Content

I do all I can to keep my website family friendly. For example, I ‘m not watching this season’s offerings of incest, more incest, lingerie, and masochism. You won’t find nudity anywhere on this site (if you do, please tell me, because any nudity I handpicked must be fap-worthy). My site is 1000% sparking clean, which is why I was shocked to receive this email:

Hi Baka-Raptor,

I was recently at the Paul Scherrer Institute, a research facility in
Switzerland which does nuclear physics and synchrotron experiments. When
I tried to view your site, I got this. Your’s is the first site I’ve
been to since I’ve been here that’s been blocked by their filter. Maybe
the AnimeBlogger Antenna is right about your site after all. 😛

How can I argue with a nuclear physics lab? My hatred of the Fushigi Yuugi OVAs must be pornographic at the quantum level. To set things straight and tone down the prurient nature of this website, I will now discuss You Are Umasou, the most wholesome anime ever.

You Are Umasou is about a badass tyrannosaurus whose feats of saurian ferocity include headbutting rocks and punting vegetarians.

One day, Tyrannosaurus meets a baby ankylosaurus that could probably win SaiMoé.

Tyrannosaurus wouldn’t have any of this moéshit, so he takes the ankylosaurus under his tutelage in the non-pedophilic arts.

This is clearly the best anime ever. It’s based off a children’s book that shockingly sold only 1.5 million copies. You’d think it could go at least triple platinum.

Each episode is three minutes long. Each book in the series gets five episodes. The original book (first five episodes) is a masterpiece of children’s storytelling. It’s like a Japanese dinosaur version of Are You My Mother? While the other stories in the series are still fun, they admittedly live in the shadow of the original.

Oh yeah, one last thing: You Are Umasou contains absolutely zero pornographic content.

72 people love sucking up to me

  1. I watched this show after you mentioned it in my blog. I am completely smitten by the Tyran because it reminds me of you. Awwww fuckthatshit.

    If your blog which is 1000% clean and pure does not passed the nuclear physucs lab, than it looks like my blog will not even passed the toilet of a nuclear physics lab. Damn the security bot.

    • Tyrannosaurus is one of the most relatable characters I’ve seen in recent anime. I may even have to add him to the list of Anime Characters who are Almost as Cool as Me.

      Since you’re watching incest, more incest, and lingerie, yes, you’re 3000% more pornographic than me, and I hope you get blocked wherever innocent eyes may wander.

      • Wow, at first I thought you were shitting me about this show, then I searched it up…
        I thought Tyrannosaurs and raptors didn’t get along.

  2. Censorship is for wusses…. Practice self censorship people and leave my internets alone…

    Also, I remembered the time when I tried to load Baka-Raptor at Panera Bread and it was blocked… Cue rageguy…

    • Panera blocks everyone. One time I went to Panera when the internet was out at my apartment. Their censorship sucked, and so did their food (actually the soup was pretty good).

  3. They recently released the movie in Japan. This series was about the only thing that interested me this season, to bad they are such short episodes. Next season doesnt look to offer up much either. Sigh:(

  4. Baby ankylosaurus could win, only that SaiMoe are like beauty contests, they never seem to pick the right ones which would end up with baby ankylosaurus being cheated out of its rightful victory. On another dinosaur related note,

    “You Are Umasou is about a badass tyrannosaurus whose feats of saurian ferocity include headbutting rocks and punting vegetarians.”
    Go, Umasou! About time I say. Those vegetarians never seem to learn.

  5. The artwork for this reminds me of Dogtato-kun or something similar. This one is clearly superior though since vegetable animals are clearly inferior since they’re way at the bottom of the food chain seeing how Tyran is kicking herbivorous ass.

    • Dogtato? It’s as if the execs came together and said, “How can we possibly make a show stupider than CatDog? Let’s turn the cat into a potato!” You won’t find any gimmicks in Umasou. They’re 100% dinosaur.

  6. Your blog is blocked so often when I try to access it from somewhere other than home. And mine isn’t. Its so baffling. Maybe its those hot, hot pictures of sideburns you have in some of your posts… I don’t really see how you could possibly clean that those are family-friendly.

  7. is there really any objectionable material here?
    I have lurked here for quite sometime and nothing worth censoring was found.
    FYI, your website is blocked by my uni too, not a long time ago.
    good thing they realize dinosaur are nice animals and stopped blocking.

    • Of course there’s no objectionable content. Is Anime News Network ever wrong? (that was a rhetorical question, anyone who answers will be censored)

      I don’t know what hurts more: being censored or being dropped from censorship. Am I no longer dangerous to youthful minds? It’s curiously emasculating. On the other hand, maybe this is a sign that the recession is over.

  8. I dunno, the various angles and uses of that Tyrannosaurus’ tail seem pretty suggestive to me. Maybe you should pixelate it just to be safe.

  9. He headbuts rocks and has eyes that look even crazier than yours (presumably from headbutting said rocks). Clearly, he’s been chewing one too many of those dodgy looking leaves. ‘No objectionable’ content my arse. If I had children, I would certainly keep them away from such gratuitous acts of drug-addled delinquency.

    BAD DINO!!

  10. I second Valence’s statement..that Fushigi Yuugi’s post seemed pretty okay to me!

    Ah speaking of which

    “You won’t find nudity anywhere on this site”
    I remember vaguely a pic of Asuma x Kurenai in an old post ^_~

    “because any nudity I handpicked must be fap-worthy”
    LMAO!! 🙂

    Okay coming to the topic,I remember reading one of your comment “You are umasou” and you seriously made a post on it 😮
    I wonder where you got the fondness for dinosaurs so much…wait is it Misuzu? @_@

    • I read a lot of dinosaur books as kid. I also watched Jurassic Park and played DinoPark Tycoon. Most importantly, dinosaurs are inherently awesome, and anyone who doesn’t like them is incontinent.

      You must be talking about this one. Anything censorable is conveniently out of view.

  11. Why do you suck so bad? How can you be so completely oblivious to the glory of that one cartoon about chicks that take off their clothes so they (the previously mentioned clothes, not the girls, that would be stupid) can turn into weapons and kill ghosts. I mean, seriously!? Seriously!?!??! P&S (say that 5 times fast!) is easily the best show of the season, if not the greatest thing to come along since, oh, I don’t know, Astro Boy? You are stupid and I hate you. Like the shows I like to prove to me you have a brain and love the awesomeness of Panty and Stocking with that afro priest dude with a stupid name.

    • Dead Leaves as raped by Gainax minus GOOD plus BULLSHIT divided by four equals greater than Tezuka and everyone after him?
      Drink lye.

      • While I do understand your sentiment, lye by itself is a solid, so the command to “drink lye” is a bit silly. Also, is the 1/4 some kind of constant of proportionality? Are you taking an average of D.L.+G+goodness removal+B.S.? Maybe the division represents something else. I don’t really understand your formula so I can’t say if it yields something greater or less than anything else.

        • The ink in your pen is technically solid, but it has to become a solution (emulsion, rather) before it can be used. Is it impossible to drink?
          While lye is commonly sold in solid state, that’s not to say it’s never dissolved. In fact, the vast bulk of its actual uses require this, and if you’re at all expedient, you’ll either procure it as a solution, or make it ahead of time.
          At any rate, quite right,there are four terms of addition. Gainax, Dead Leaves, Bullshit, and Good. Negativity has no bearing on the number of terms.
          Moot point, really. My real criticism is, even a good show presented in an overbearing fashion can largely only be made worse (unless its audience has been cowed into submission by it,) and logically extending a predictable joke to its utmost, and often vulgar, conclusion, is hard-pressed to actually be funny in delivery (unless, of course, the audience hasn’t actually seen that joke before, as in SZS.)

    • Once in a while, I think a show looks stupid, watch it anyway, and end up liking it. Other times, I think a show looks stupid, watch it anyway, and realize I was right to prejudge it as the piece of shit it turned out to be. Early indications are that it’ll fall into category 2. It’s artistic. It’s daring. A raptor craves not these things. Tell me it didn’t wear thin after 13 episodes. Then I’ll watch it. My backlog is long enough; I’d rather not have to write a post called Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt is Stupid & Shitty with Boring.

      • It didn’t wear thin after 13 episodes 😐

        Its artisticness is only an appeal for the first couple episodes, till you get used to the animation style. The whole thing keeps hight production values throughout all 13 episodes, the music is great, the 2 episode format that has been done in DMC results in good episodes not being padded and bad episodes being shorter than 20 minutes. Though it does draw a lot of its humor from references to pop culture and music history, so you may not like that.

    • Don’t get me wrong. I take being compared to porn as a compliment. It may be the greatest compliment a website can receive. It’s the lack of exposure due to censorship I’m complaining about. I don’t have the traffic of a porn site.

  12. Even if you mentioned it, this anime art seems too ugly for my keen eyes to absorb… no surprise you got eyestrain yourself.

    And this dinosaur looks like a gecko… haha you can’t fool me!

    Btw, your site is blocked in the company i work too, but there, you fall in the category “Streaming Media”, i can’t possible know why…

    • I just got GEICO insurance on my car, so I know a gecko when I see one. Maybe that pansy ass dino slapped into space resembles one.

      The art is hideous, which is great, because that means there’s hope for me to make an anime.

  13. Poor form, Baka-Raptor. You didn’t credit me for sending you that email from PSI. 😛

    I had to laugh at Baka-Raptor being blocked at PSI when other far more questionable sites like 4chan were completely fine. The Swiss are typically lenient when it comes to enforcing rules and internet censorship and the like. They must have seen something particularly offensive on your site for you to get blocked.

  14. man, tyrannosaurs completely freaked me out!

    I think, this Dino show was one of the show that will definitely make you child-friendly.

  15. I listened to you when you recommended Claymore. You were right.
    I listened to you when you recommended Cromartie. You were also right.
    I will listen to you when you recommend You Are Umarou.

  16. Your blatant lack of commentary on Ika Musume, the only other wholesome show on this season’s anime circuit, is to be quite frank, alarming.

  17. Let me get this straight. The guy working in the physic lab could not enter your blog and while the pop-up clearly instructed him to contact *whoever in that blackened area* if there were errors, he contacted you instead…that’s kind of weird. @_@

    • The secret’s out: I control the computer systems are the Paul Scherrer Institute. The synchrotron experiments run at my whim. Soon I’ll gain control of a hadron collider that’ll give me the power to destroy the world.

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