Aoi Hana Gets Real

Aoi Hana once inspired me to draw a distinction between real lesbians and super lesbians, mainly because the “lesbians” in Aoi Hana were constantly crying instead of groping each other. Not only was I hoping for another kind of waterworks, the horrendous cry/grope ratio was only one of several criticisms I had of the show.

There was nothing going on between the two main girls. It didn’t help that there were only 11 episodes, and it’s certainly not uncommon in anime for the one true pairing to spend an eternity in limbo. Regardless, I could only see them as friends. These two didn’t give me any wood to build a ship. As far as I could tell, one of them wasn’t a lesbian, and the other was in a hopeless relationship with another girl who wasn’t a lesbian (who was sought after by yet another girl who wasn’t a lesbian).

In short, most of these “real lesbians” weren’t even real lesbians. Not that I don’t appreciate non-lesbian females banging each other, if only that’d happened. Disappointingly, they were merely in emotionally intense yet platonic relationships destined to be curtailed by graduation from school, marriage, or death. Except no death either. All we got were fake real lesbians in pastel colors crying to piano music and cutting class to visit museums without dying.

Final Grade: ~

Normally I wouldn’t give a ~ rated title a second glance, but the recommendation came from Yi, who when presented with 100 random pictures from my site, including several instances of yuri, was most enticed by the following:

It’s safe to say this is the most non-lesbian picture ever. If Yi liked it, and she also liked Aoi Hana, I had to be missing something. So I read the manga. Shit gets real (relatively speaking). Instead of giants eating humans, tall lesbians eat short lesbians. The main girls finally pair off, and even though I doubt the short one is a real real lesbian, that in itself makes an interesting dynamic. Also, one of the fake lesbians is out of the picture, leaving the fake lesbian who liked her to develop into a much more interesting character. There’s still too much crying, but at least there’s no piano music to accompany it.

Current Grade: +


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