Aoi Hana Gets Real
Aoi Hana once inspired me to draw a distinction between real lesbians and super lesbians, mainly because the “lesbians” in Aoi Hana were constantly crying instead of groping each other. Not only was I hoping for another kind of waterworks, the horrendous cry/grope ratio was only one of several criticisms I had of the show.
There was nothing going on between the two main girls. It didn’t help that there were only 11 episodes, and it’s certainly not uncommon in anime for the one true pairing to spend an eternity in limbo. Regardless, I could only see them as friends. These two didn’t give me any wood to build a ship. As far as I could tell, one of them wasn’t a lesbian, and the other was in a hopeless relationship with another girl who wasn’t a lesbian (who was sought after by yet another girl who wasn’t a lesbian).
In short, most of these “real lesbians” weren’t even real lesbians. Not that I don’t appreciate non-lesbian females banging each other, if only that’d happened. Disappointingly, they were merely in emotionally intense yet platonic relationships destined to be curtailed by graduation from school, marriage, or death. Except no death either. All we got were fake real lesbians in pastel colors crying to piano music and cutting class to visit museums without dying.
Final Grade: ~
Normally I wouldn’t give a ~ rated title a second glance, but the recommendation came from Yi, who when presented with 100 random pictures from my site, including several instances of yuri, was most enticed by the following:
It’s safe to say this is the most non-lesbian picture ever. If Yi liked it, and she also liked Aoi Hana, I had to be missing something. So I read the manga. Shit gets real (relatively speaking). Instead of giants eating humans, tall lesbians eat short lesbians. The main girls finally pair off, and even though I doubt the short one is a real real lesbian, that in itself makes an interesting dynamic. Also, one of the fake lesbians is out of the picture, leaving the fake lesbian who liked her to develop into a much more interesting character. There’s still too much crying, but at least there’s no piano music to accompany it.
Current Grade: +
Trash Talk Twitter Timeline
All psychological warfare between Yi and me shall be compiled below. Go here to vote for “whichever blog you’d prefer to read.”
Against @yihsieh321 in three days. Imagine it’ll go something like this: youtu.be/LN0omxtVyyc
— Baka-Raptor (@Baka_Raptor) June 22, 2012
I think this is much more fitting for us. cc: @baka_raptortwitpic.com/9zfbyq
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 23, 2012
Round 5 polls up: aniblogtourney.wordpress.com/2012/06/25/las… Now I can finally get revenge on @yihsieh321 happletea.tumblr.com/post/912512960…
— Baka-Raptor (@Baka_Raptor) June 25, 2012
To make @baka_raptor feel better, my love affair with his dinosaur didn’t last very long… Only ~1 min or so: goo.gl/lYy59
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 26, 2012
I mean, T-Rexes (e.g. @baka_raptor) make lousy dates: goo.gl/gjjl
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 26, 2012
@yihsieh321 lesbians are cool, but raptors don’t get trapped in the closet. youtube.com/watch?v=lNDiZG…
— Baka-Raptor (@Baka_Raptor) June 26, 2012
@baka_raptor At least we eat more pussies than raptors. And we don’t get twat blocked by mere children: youtube.com/watch?v=hzIVwp…
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 26, 2012
Was that too crude? I feel kind of bad now. cc: @baka_raptor
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 26, 2012
Have I put the fear in @baka_raptor yet? twitpic.com/a11kun
— Yi (@yihsieh321) June 27, 2012
@yihsieh321 yes, I was afraid you’d do a lousy job babysitting my nephew grantbridgestreet.blogspot.com/2011/03/wonder… twitter.com/Baka_Raptor/st…
— Baka-Raptor (@Baka_Raptor) June 27, 2012
Tags: aoi hana, i am such a sellout, i will invent a tv trope, lesbians, shingeki no kyojin, single plus, single tilde, winning a circle-jerk popularity contest is more important than recovering my eyesight
23 people love sucking up to me
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baka-raptor@baka-raptor.com
you guys are the toughest vote for me yet but like I said so many time before, I will vote for my favorite and that’s that. I still love Yi though in a totally platonic kind of way and nothing lesbian about it at all.
I love Yi in a way that can only be interpreted as homoerotic.
Every other round I vote for Yi, and if she’d been against most of the other competitors, I’d vote for her still. But Baka-Raptor is, like, the only blog I read ALL OF.
For this purpose I intentionally keep the word count and post frequency low.
Actually every time you write a short post I’m like “fuck that was way too short” and you don’t post enough. I’m always, always, always for more content. Always. Long posts ftw.
Raptor, I bet you if you go to the nearest shopping mall right now you’ll see plenty of eligible triceratops. Dating is tough only if you aim for the wrong species.
Dating is even tougher if you aim for an herbivore.
[…] wrote about Aoi Hana, and I about Shingeki no Kyojin. Here are the respective posts: Baka-Raptor on Aoi Hana Baka-Raptor on Shingeki no Kyojin Yi on Aoi Hana Yi on Shingeki no […]
So epic, but still a very tough decision since I enjoy both of your blogs…
Then vote for both, in alphabetical order, until you run out of votes.
Alphabetical is too mainstream. Reverse alphabetical is what’s hipster now.
I was finally able to vote! Baka-raptor, of course. I only read your blog. Now what is the best site for reading Golden Boy? And super lesbians are so, so awesome.
A quick google search of “Golden Boy manga” reveals several acceptable sites. That was too easy. I can only assume you’re asking me this question because it’s some sort of riddle.
This just randomly occurred to me. You love long, epic, winding stories, full of plot and twists and intrigue and comedy, yes? Have you ever read MSPaint Adventures? It’s a webcomic that’s pretty much the greatest story ever told, except it’s multiple stories and they’re all amazing. There’s Problem Sleuth, which I’m almost 100% sure you’ll like, and also Homestuck, which I’m sure you’ll like if you don’t hate it at the beginning.
MSPaint? I’m sold.
Sigh… I had a feeling you wouldn’t enjoy Aoi Hana as much as I did. It’s true. The anime feels a lot whinier than good. Still, at least the manga is pretty good. ^ ^
p.s. It was an honor to be in the same tourney with you. ^ ^
Was that “feeling” seeing the ~ on my anime list?
If the anime had covered the latest 20 or so manga chapters, I surely would’ve liked it more. The lack of development early in the story between the two main girls felt odd in a structural sense. Just didn’t see what they were going for when viewing the anime in isolation. There’s also the relatability factor I’m sure you appreciated more than I did.
Waiting for the manga to finish so I can read that shit.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE LAST CHAPTERS OF SASAMEKI KOTO SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE THEM!!!
Sure, I’ll translate Sasameki Koto for you!
I was just wondering if you will review Kuttsukiboshi?
There’s Psycho Lesbians and much, much more.
Looks like there’s only two episodes. What could possibly go wrong?
The first anime I ever watched that sucked. It had lesbians, too! I was so confused.
The problem is that it has more fake lesbians than real lesbians, making the net real lesbian count negative.