Aoi Hana Gets Real

Aoi Hana once inspired me to draw a distinction between real lesbians and super lesbians, mainly because the “lesbians” in Aoi Hana were constantly crying instead of groping each other. Not only was I hoping for another kind of waterworks, the horrendous cry/grope ratio was only one of several criticisms I had of the show.

There was nothing going on between the two main girls. It didn’t help that there were only 11 episodes, and it’s certainly not uncommon in anime for the one true pairing to spend an eternity in limbo. Regardless, I could only see them as friends. These two didn’t give me any wood to build a ship. As far as I could tell, one of them wasn’t a lesbian, and the other was in a hopeless relationship with another girl who wasn’t a lesbian (who was sought after by yet another girl who wasn’t a lesbian).

In short, most of these “real lesbians” weren’t even real lesbians. Not that I don’t appreciate non-lesbian females banging each other, if only that’d happened. Disappointingly, they were merely in emotionally intense yet platonic relationships destined to be curtailed by graduation from school, marriage, or death. Except no death either. All we got were fake real lesbians in pastel colors crying to piano music and cutting class to visit museums without dying.

Final Grade: ~

Normally I wouldn’t give a ~ rated title a second glance, but the recommendation came from Yi, who when presented with 100 random pictures from my site, including several instances of yuri, was most enticed by the following:

It’s safe to say this is the most non-lesbian picture ever. If Yi liked it, and she also liked Aoi Hana, I had to be missing something. So I read the manga. Shit gets real (relatively speaking). Instead of giants eating humans, tall lesbians eat short lesbians. The main girls finally pair off, and even though I doubt the short one is a real real lesbian, that in itself makes an interesting dynamic. Also, one of the fake lesbians is out of the picture, leaving the fake lesbian who liked her to develop into a much more interesting character. There’s still too much crying, but at least there’s no piano music to accompany it.

Current Grade: +

Trash Talk Twitter Timeline

All psychological warfare between Yi and me shall be compiled below. Go here to vote for “whichever blog you’d prefer to read.”

23 people love sucking up to me

  1. you guys are the toughest vote for me yet but like I said so many time before, I will vote for my favorite and that’s that. I still love Yi though in a totally platonic kind of way and nothing lesbian about it at all.

  2. Every other round I vote for Yi, and if she’d been against most of the other competitors, I’d vote for her still. But Baka-Raptor is, like, the only blog I read ALL OF.

  3. Raptor, I bet you if you go to the nearest shopping mall right now you’ll see plenty of eligible triceratops. Dating is tough only if you aim for the wrong species.

  4. I was finally able to vote! Baka-raptor, of course. I only read your blog. Now what is the best site for reading Golden Boy? And super lesbians are so, so awesome.

    • A quick google search of “Golden Boy manga” reveals several acceptable sites. That was too easy. I can only assume you’re asking me this question because it’s some sort of riddle.

  5. This just randomly occurred to me. You love long, epic, winding stories, full of plot and twists and intrigue and comedy, yes? Have you ever read MSPaint Adventures? It’s a webcomic that’s pretty much the greatest story ever told, except it’s multiple stories and they’re all amazing. There’s Problem Sleuth, which I’m almost 100% sure you’ll like, and also Homestuck, which I’m sure you’ll like if you don’t hate it at the beginning.

  6. Sigh… I had a feeling you wouldn’t enjoy Aoi Hana as much as I did. It’s true. The anime feels a lot whinier than good. Still, at least the manga is pretty good. ^ ^

    p.s. It was an honor to be in the same tourney with you. ^ ^

    • Was that “feeling” seeing the ~ on my anime list?

      If the anime had covered the latest 20 or so manga chapters, I surely would’ve liked it more. The lack of development early in the story between the two main girls felt odd in a structural sense. Just didn’t see what they were going for when viewing the anime in isolation. There’s also the relatability factor I’m sure you appreciated more than I did.

  7. I was just wondering if you will review Kuttsukiboshi?

    There’s Psycho Lesbians and much, much more.

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