I got accepted to the JET Program!
It all started when I went blind a few years ago. I needed a hobby that didn’t involve seeing stuff, so I decided to learn Japanese through podcast lessons. Since listening comprehension is basically the only language skill required to watch anime, podcasts were all I needed. Why bother straining my eyes to memorize tens of thousands of kanji characters I’d only use briefly when a book showed up on screen?
That all changed when I came across Kanji Damage. Turns out there are only about 2,000 kanji characters you really need to know, and they can be learned through jokes about homosexuality and 90s rappers. Suddenly I felt like taking the plunge in to learning Japanese hardcore.
I figured I’d test myself by taking the JLPT. The N4 test seemed about my level at the time, so I thought I’d challenge myself by taking N3. It’s not like I had any practical reason for taking the test, so it wouldn’t matter if I failed. I studied. I studied some more. The more I studied, the more I realized how inadequate my Japanese skills were.
This is when it occurred to me that if I wanted to make any reasonably fast progress in learning Japanese, I’d have to spend some time in Japan. I had no obligations keeping me tied down to New York. Teach English in Japan for a year? Why the hell not?
I looked over the qualifications for the JET Program. They mentioned a TEFL certificate would look good on my application. I knew I’d seen that term somewhere before. Went to Groupon and found an online TEFL course for $69! It was supposed to be a 160 hour course, but I cut corners like it was a truncated icosahedron and finished it in about 30 hours total. Then I wrote some stupid essay about how I care about Japan. Somehow this was all good enough to get me an interview! That was a few weeks ago, and apparently I came off as a consummate professional, because they just notified me that I’m accepted! I’ll probably get stuck in some hicktown, but whatever, it’s JAPAN!
I also interviewed at AEON, but they’re a bunch of pig fuckers so screw them. Never trust a company that rhymes with K-ON.