Your voting preference should be as follows:
- Don’t vote
Everyone knows that Trump’s a shitty candidate, albeit for reasons as lazy as “he’s a racist!”, or as shallow as “his name was actually Drumpf!”. However, if you’re going by a lesser-of-two-evils analysis, Trump is by far the un-worse choice.
- Trump won’t have enough congressional support to push his policies through. Hillary will.
- Trump won’t get reelected. Hillary will.
- Trump’s presidency will destroy the Republican establishment. Hillary’s presidency will empower the Democratic establishment.
But enough about Trump. Let’s talk about why Hillary can go fuck herself. First, a few things I don’t care about. I don’t have a problem with anything she did before running for Senate. I don’t care that she’s a mediocre speaker. I don’t care that she’s a woman, and I don’t care that she’s white. I don’t care (much) about the e-mail controversy or Benghazi (yeah, it’s corrupt, but if you’re not going to punish Bush/Cheney for the shit they pulled, you’re not going to get Hillary either).
My beef with Hillary began when she shamelessly moved to New York for the sole purpose of running for Senate. Why New York? Like every decision in her career, it was a deliberate political calculation. A Senate seat would be opening soon in New York, unlike in Illinois and Arkansas. There was no rule barring a new resident from running for office. New York is a majority Democratic state. With Clinton’s connections and name recognition, she could easily win. I didn’t have a political affiliation at the time, and I had a somewhat positive opinion of Bill Clinton’s presidency, but I thought Hillary’s carpetbagging was kind of douchey and tried to convince my parents to vote for the other guy (they didn’t). A few years after Hillary was elected, I moved out of state for college. Somehow I resisted the urge to run for Senate.
I didn’t pay attention to Hillary again until she ran for president in 2008. Despite my objections to Hillary’s run for Senate, I didn’t have any immediate problems with her running for President. Then I watched the primary debates. Hillary’s smug sense of entitlement came back tenfold. Sure that she’d win the Democratic primary, she presented herself as the most conservative candidate on stage to posture for the general election. She constantly bashed the other candidates’ liberal positions, including those on national defense, civil liberties, and gay rights. Despite having barely served a term as senator herself, she led the attacks on Barack Obama’s inexperience. Remember the 3 a.m. phone call ads?
Despite Hillary having a huge early lead, Democratic voters surprisingly got their shit together and voted for Obama’s Hope and Change™. (Somehow they weren’t on board with Hillary condescendingly offering Obama the VP slot on her “dream ticket” as soon as she sensed Obama could possibly beat her.) Barack Obama wouldn’t return that favor for his VP slot, but he was under enough political pressure to at least hand Hillary the Secretary of State job.
In the 2016 primary season, Hillary tried to walk back her “I’m the most conservative Democrat!” strategy and this time present herself as a champion of liberalism. There was just one problem: her main competition was an actual liberal. So Hillary did the next best thing: she relied on superdelegates, her husband’s political network, and DNC cronyism to keep the race from ever getting too close.
In conclusion, Hillary Clinton is an obnoxious asshole who not only feels entitled to political office but will say or do anything to get there. Don’t reward this bitch by voting for her.