80's Anime Kicks Ass

I'm talking about shows like Touch, Kimagure Orange Road, Maison Ikkoku, and City Hunter. They had everything:

Well developed minor characters All
Simultaneous subplots All
Unforeseeable plot twists All
Comical victimization All
Regular victimization All
Recurring random character(s) KOR
Badass mid-episode transitions KOR
Soundtrack by Yuki Kajiura KOR
Fade into intro/ending CH
Catchy dance sequence MI
Themes of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge CH
Topics of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge All
Lesbians KOR
Hilarious ambiguously gay dude Touch
Stylish visual effects All
Dinosaurs Touch
Giant Robots Other
Tournament Competition Touch
Non-tournament based competitive activity All
Rivalry Touch
Graphic violence CH
A character vaguely resembling myself Touch
Failed Confessions MI
Misunderstandings MI
Mangled English All
Pimp in a white suit MI
Disheveled journalist/photographer KOR
List of progressively revealed elements KOR
Rampant Pedophilia None
Time Travel KOR
Interdimensional travel KOR
Supernatural Power KOR
Showdown in a warehouse CH
Poetic dubbing MI
Fight in a Ballroom/Casino/Cathedral/Theatre CH
Shameless advertisement CH
Catch phrases CH
Alternate universe filler KOR
Self-parody KOR

That's right 80's anime even had Yuki Kajiura. Didn't think she was on the scene back then? Well, she wasn't, but the second Kimagure Orange Road movie (1996) still counts as being part of an 80's series. After all, a decade didn't define 80's anime; 80's anime defined a decade. It's not the time period, but the style that makes 80's anime so badass. Look no further than the music (even without Yuki Kajiura). You never heard crappy synthesized saxophones in the 80's. Everything that was supposed to sound real was recorded live, and everything electronic was unmistakeably fake. Nobody tried to fool anyone. The only downside is that all that sweet 80's music was wasted on the dance floor, because everybody in 80's anime had the same shitty dance moves:

Unlike modern anime, 80's anime discouraged pedophilia. City Hunter's Ryo Saeba, who I assume to be the prominent sexual icon of the times, always rejected the advances of high school girls and only went after mature women:


They had the "aho" birds back then too.

In 80's anime, men were manly enough to grow sideburns, which seem to have gone extinct circa 2000. You could also judge somebody's coolness just by knowing his or her hair color:

1. Blue hair
2. Brown hair
3. Nobody else mattered

In summary, if you don't like 80's anime, you're a pedophile.

Oh wait, Maddox said that everything in the 80's sucked. Nevermind that pedophile thing...


9881 people realize there's a selection bias in my evaluation of 80's anime