College Sports are Unwatchable

When I was younger, my father would only let me watch professional sports. Now I know why:


Every college game is this ugly.

I decided to give NCAA basketball a chance, so I turned on the game between #1 seeded Duke and #4 seeded LSU. Here are the stats from the sloppiest basketball game humanly imaginable:

Some idiots think that college sports are better because they're more exciting. Exciting is an understatement. When everybody sucks, you never know what'll happen next! Sure, every possession in college basketball ends in a foul or a turnover, but you don't know what kind! Their shooting is also incredibly inconsistent, so you have games like the UCLA vs Memphis matchup that end with shitty scores like 50-45, but that's unpredictable, so it's exciting!

College football is equally shitty. The bigger line always dominates, the receivers never catch the ball in stride, and everybody misses tackles. Then you have guys like Ron Dayne who win the Heisman Trophy but suck in the NFL because they now have to rely on skill instead of pure athleticism. Not only is the quality of play terrible, but you get lopsided final scores like 53-7. How the hell can you watch that? Many people say that this year's Rosebowl between Texas and USC was one of the greatest games ever played. Maybe they weren't watching the same game that I was watching, because I saw nothing but terrible defenses getting their asses handed to them.

The only thing I ever liked about college football were the cowbells, but the NCAA insisted on being assholes by banning them. Everything about college sports now officially sucks.


The Duke vs LSU game had 2002 turnovers