Crappy reviews are the best kind

If you write an intriguing crappy review of a show, I will watch it – guaranteed. Take Derailed by Darry's thin slicing of Hatenkou Yugi:

"Hatenkou Yugi (Dazzle) is just terrible. Everything about this series was just so random, inexplicable, and nonsensical. For instance, the main character, Rahzel, gets kicked out of her house. We’re not given a clear reason why besides her dad wants her to get some fresh air. Kicking a teenage girl out of her house without a source of income or living arrangements? Uh, yeah. Sure. So she goes and picks up a much older guy who just happens to be robbing someone..."

Is it just me, or did everything in that review sound totally awesome?

Now turn your attention to this crappy review of Gantz. The author, charn, gave this a 5.5/10 on animenfo.

....What a deep, psychological anime with so many thought-provoking philosophies. What a substantial story that realistically portrays human reactions in extremely desperate situations. What a cerebral anime that is omnipresent of multi-dimensional characters and their tragic destinies, tits and asses, moronic aliens, and a pussy-licking dog...

...pussy-licking dog? O_o

Err... sorry people. I was quite drunk when I was writing the first paragraph. Forget everything I said above except tits and asses, moronic aliens, and a pussy-licking dog. In actuality, Gantz is supposed to be a psychological anime. However, there are more than enough hints just in the first episode alone to tell its viewers that this anime is anything but deep and cerebral. In the first minute of the first episode, Kurono (the main male lead) was having an erection. Then there appeared a naked girl with big tits who made one horny dog run to lick her pussy. Then there's a black ball that sings, "Wake up to the new day of hope. Fill your hearts with happiness etc." before sending these morons to get killed by aliens. Yeah, hope my foot. Happiness my ass.

Yup, that's right. Gantz is not meant to be taken seriously. This anime is something which would entertain its viewers for the completely wrong reasons. Many things in Gantz are so out of place and contradictory that viewers would just crack up at how stupid everything is. Anything can happen in Gantz for no reason. For example, before the fourth mission started, there is one dude who was supposed to die so that he can join the 'game of death'... but...he was still alive. Hence, the author made him die by having a giant log flowing out of nowhere to crush him dead when he was swimming (and I must add that he was swimming in a very shallow stream in central Tokyo. Yeah, giant log flowing into a shallow city canal. [sarcasm] That's convincing as hell, [end sarcasm] ain't it?).

The characters in Gantz made me laugh even harder. These dumbasses are the most idiotic bunches of morons I have come across. When the aliens or the villains were charging at them, they would either 1) stand still, discussing with one another very calmly and casually whether they should, or should not shoot, or 2) babble some bullcrap morals and philosophies, encouraging everyone to 'talk it over peacefully' with the villains. But although their interactions are idiotically unrealistic, they are not without good points. For one, it's stupidly entertaining. Secondly, these idiots' interactions would annoy the hell out of me to the extent that I would wish many of them dead...and my wishes were always fulfilled. The best part of Gantz is to watch these idiots getting killed one after another in the most horrible ways imaginable. I want to talk about who got killed by what as those scenes are extremely amusing. But they will become spoilers...so I'll stop talking about those for now :)

The fanservice is also a hilarious addition. Kurono, the main male lead, is an ultra horny dude. Throughout the series, he'd be reading porno magazines, staring at girls' tits, or having wild sexual fantasies before jerking off. Let's go back to the fifth episode when Kurono was being beaten up by one badass delinquent. Instead of thinking about how he would fight back, he was fantasizing Kei naked and getting an erection. Moreover, he is extremely shameless when it comes to asking girls for sex. Had anyone done what he did in the real world, they would have gotten slapped; nevertheless, this is Gantz, my friend. Anything can happen. The creators knew that their viewers want fanservice; consequently, it's no surprise that the chicks in Gantz would be happy and willing to allow Kurono to screw their yolks. Let's take that scene between Kurono and Sakuraoka before the third mission, for example. Here, this dialogue:

Kurono: (sob, sob)
Sakuraoka: You look so down. Think of me as your big sister. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Kurono: Can I have sex with you?
Sakuraoka: Baka!...right now?
Kurono: Yeah, can I?
Sakuraoka: Okay.

Mwahahahahahaha...I like this shit. It's stupidly hilarious XD

So there you have it, folks. Gantz is one pervert, crazy, and insanely amusing ride. Of course, I can't write this off as something 'good'. As a psychological anime, Gantz failed miserably. Fortunately, I have a very twisted sense of humor that I will laugh when I see something stupidly contradictory. As a result, I was laughing like mad throughout the series. In fact, I have not laughed so hard from watching this kind of violent (and retarded) story since Battle Royal Live Action Movie I. If you are expecting Gantz to be a deep, psychological story, this will turn out to be the dumbest anime you will ever see. On the other hand, if you turn off your rationality and expect nothing but hilarious ecchi fanservice, amusingly retarded characters, and a stupidly contradictory story, this is gonna be one of the funniest anime you will ever find.... ....and yeah, I will be watching this shit again XD

Must watch Gantz...


Gantz deserves a 6266 / 10