Yesterday a little girl came up to me and asked me to make a webpage about how awesome harem animes are. I socked that bitch in the jaw and wrote this page out of spite. Every conceivable harem anime has already been created, and any attempt to improve the concept would undoubtedly suck.
If you're going to create a harem anime, then there's no reason to be original. First, you need the staple characters:
This character represents every nerd's fantasy. Imagine yourself in this situation: a diverse bunch of nubile young women are throwing themselves at your feet. Why should this take 26 episodes to resolve?
All you really need is one good slut. I've been saying that for years. Now add alcohol, gossip, and a general taste for mischief, and you've got yourself the ultimate harem slut.
Even though they always fight, the Oblivious Pimp always seems to prefer The Bitch. She burns with jealousy, leaps to conclusions, cries, and turns to ice, but when she laughs...well, she still sounds like a bitch. Yeah, so I blatantly ripped off a Maison Ikkoku quote, but at least Kyoko knew how to cook and clean like all women should. In fact, all women from 80's anime series knew their role. 80's anime kicks ass.
The Pussy is usually the most underrated character in the harem. So what if she's not slutty and can't express her feelings verbally? That just means that she has to seduce guys by cooking their lunches. Why don't more girls do that?
With these characters, you can setup the two incidents that drive a harem anime: Failed Confessions and Misunderstandings
How confessions fail:
The Pussy - Stutters to much and changes what she's trying to say at the last second
The Bitch - Can't accept her true feelings
The Oblivious Pimp - Only confesses to The Bitch who can't accept her true feelings
The Slut - The Oblivious Pimp is too much of a pussy to have sex with her
How misunderstandings occur:
The Slut - Tries to have sex with the Oblivious Pimp, but everybody else suddenly appears and starts bitching
The Oblivious Pimp - "Accidentally" finds his way to the women's bath
The Bitch - Sends mixed signals and gets pissed when others try to interpret them
The Pussy - Makes a mediocre obento
Now permute these scenarios across all the characters (a little girl on girl action never hurts), throw in a little filler, and you have another harem anime.
UPDATE: Holy shit, somebody made a YouTube adaptation!
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