Ouran High School Host Club: ...

What's the word I'm looking for...

That's right Ouran High School Host Club is Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Or if you're a purist otaku, you might say that a show called "Ouran Koukou Hosuto Bu" is Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoi.

Ouran High School Host Club is a reverse harem series. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I probably should've seen the Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiety coming from miles away, but I've seen at least two other series with a reverse harem cast of characters, and unlike Ouran, I wouldn't classify either as homoerotic. By the way, if a girl ever tells you she's not turned on by guy-on-guy action, that's bullshit, and this series is proof. Girls love Ouran. Pedophiles love it even more. The music video for the opening theme says it all:

How much will you love Ouran? Here's a scientifically accurate method of finding out:

1. Start with a base score of 5

2. Add 1 point if you're a homosexual male

3. Add 2 points if you're a heterosexual female

4. Add 3 points if you're a pedophile

5. Subtract 2 points if you're a fan of The Man Show (Jimmy Kimmel & Adam Corolla era)

6. Add 1 point if you're bored

7. Add 1 point if you're a fan of Lunar Anime

8. Add 2 points if you know somebody who's more eager to watch Ouran than you are. (That way nobody can call you Gaaaaaaaaaaay without implicitly calling the other person Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.)

"Ouran High School Host Club - apparently about a strip club for girls if I heard correctly" - Ghetto (7/20 2:24AM)

"I was wrong, Ouran Host Club is about "escorts". Not as exciting." - Ghetto (7/20 2:28AM)

"Haha, so in Ouran, ep 11, a little girl walks into the hosts club's office and points at them and says "reverse harem". some of the plot in the series has involved cross dressing, which is weird. otherwise, its pretty good." - Ghetto (7/24 2:59AM)

For me, this show was a 7/10. If you're a bored heterosexual female anime fan, you'd love me. And your score would be at least an 8/10. I gave this show a base rating of a 5 since it's admittedly well made and full of variety:

Well developed minor characters
Simultaneous subplots
Unforeseeable plot twists
Comical victimization
Recurring random character(s)
Badass mid-episode transitions
Soundtrack by Yuki Kajiura
Fade into intro/ending
Catchy dance sequence
Themes of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge
Lesbians
Hilarious ambiguously gay dude
Stylish visual effects
Dinosaurs
Exactly one dinosaur
Tournament Competition
Non-tournament based competitive activity
Rivalry
Graphic violence
A character vaguely resembling myself
Pimp in a white suit
Disheveled journalist/photographer
Time Travel
Fight in a Ballroom/Casino/Cathedral/Theatre
Alternate universe filler
Self-parody

I'll give two characters credit for vaguely (and I stress vaguely) resembling me. Can you guess who?

If you guessed any of those guys gossiping in front of the window, you're a dumbass. Here's the correct answer:

Mori, the guy who's asleep, is an easy call. Then there's Kyouya, who's clearly a no-bullshit kind of guy. He's cut off in the picture above, so I have a better one here:

Nobody else on the show matters. The male lead (the taller of the two blonde guys) is the well-meaning idiot type. The shorter blonde guy is pedophile jailbait, but the Japanese prefer the cuter term "shotacon". Then there are the orange-haired twins, the show's leading source of homosexual incestual pedophilia. Finally there's Haruhi, the female lead. As with all reverse harems, the female lead is an average-looking girl whose kindness and determination give her a unique talent for resolving the plethora of deep emotional conflicts tormenting every male character on the show. And she's a crossdresser. So is her father.

I just realized that I haven't said anything important about the plot.


It takes 371 seconds to properly pronounce the word gaaaaaaaaay