Robots Don't Have Feelings

One time a robot asked me if it could be my friend. I said no, but it could be my slave. The robot agreed and followed me home. I made it do my taxes and wash my car. Things were going great until its joints got squeaky. It begged and begged for oil, but I was too busy watching dubbed Inu Yasha reruns to care. Finally I got fed up and doused it with a bucket of water. As the robot collapsed, a trickle of water dripped across its optical lens, as if it was crying. The robot shut up permanently.

Think that's a shitty story? Well that's what happens when robots have feelings. I'm sick of this theme. It's even worse than something to protect. The robots aren't even given badass feelings like hatred and revenge; it's always sissy feelings like loneliness and melancholy. Yawn.

The question of whether robots have feelings is always answered in the affirmative. Whenever anybody suspects that a robot has feelings, it inevitably does. Would it kill them to change it up once in a while?

Speaking of iDOLM@STER: XENOGLOSSIA, there's one random joke that I found absolutely hilarious. Around the 9th minute of episode 22:






I hate explaining jokes. Then again, I'm probably the only person in the universe who thought this was funny, so here it goes. The idol team is at a bar planning to revolt against the powers that be. When forehead-girl hears that glasses-girl went to Caltech, she's shocked and keeps trying to ask if she really went there. Everybody ignores her. It's funny, trust me.

There's actually a school called California Polytechnic, but this was a fansubbing error. They clearly said Caltech (California Institute of Technology), and the JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory) is one of its institutes. I almost went to Caltech, but they scared me shitless when I visited. Every person I talked to said the exact same thing:

"You'll love it at Caltech*!"
*if you love math and science

They all seemed overworked, depressed, and sexually frustrated, so I went to a school where I thought I'd be happier: CMU. I am an idiot.

Back to the point, robots don't have feelings. Why would they even need feelings? Humans only have feelings because of natural selection. Thousands of years ago, half of the population had feelings and half didn't. The people with feelings protected each other. Meanwhile, the people without feelings didn't care when their children were exposed to danger. Slowly but surely, the emotionless people were eaten by dinosaurs and the emotional people took over. However, there was a limit to the amount of emotion people could have. The overly emotional people all wrote shitty poetry and killed themselves. Isn't it scary how much sense that makes?

The same rule applies to monsters. From now on, all mosters are heartless killing machines. No more looking inside yourself to see who the real monster is.


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