These days, picking anime with teenage female casts is like walking through a minefield. For every show that’s good on its merits, another show is called good because “it is what it is.” When nobody differentiates between the good and the bad, how am I supposed to avoid the crap? Whatever happened to standards? There’s [...]

Remember how Kure-nai couldn’t stop fucking around? Shockingly, in the greatest redemption story mankind has ever witnessed, the author of Kure-nai bounced back and wrote Denpa teki na Kanojo. This time he didn’t fuck around one bit. Just look at the cover. There’s rain…a girl with an umbrella…doesn’t look like anything special…and then—

OH SHIT, A [...]

I recently saw some cranky hag on TV whining about how TV violence against women has increased 120%. It was only a short commercial, so I wasn’t entirely sure what her point was. Was the original level ok? Should they have spread it out more? Maybe she was angry that the 120% increase wasn’t enough, [...]

32 people love action. 33 people have taste. 42 perverts beat them out. Let’s get it on.
Candy Boy

VS.
Golden Boy

Round 1: Number of Episodes
Golden Boy: 6
Candy Boy: 7
Advantage: Candy Boy
Round 2: Lesbian to Non-Lesbian Ratio
Golden Boy: 0
Candy Boy: Infinity

Advantage: Candy Boy
Round 3: Non-pedophilia

Golden Boy: Rejects at least two underage girls
Candy Boy: They’re all underage
Advantage: Golden Boy
Round [...]

Naraku is too damn brave. He needs to wuss out of more fights and try manipulating third parties from afar, thereby subjecting Inu Yasha’s gang to a profound test of character: will they kill the innocent or be killed themselves?

Too many power-ups are the well-deserved fruits of arduous training. Once in a while, it might [...]

All it took for Queen’s Blade to win my endorsement was a single episode. Twenty-three episodes later, I’m doubling down.

I wouldn’t watch Queen’s Blade if it had a shitty story. Forget for a moment the stereotype that hentai/ecchi/fanservice anime have flimsy plots. A plot that’s “not bad for an ecchi anime” still wouldn’t cut it. [...]

Seitokai no Ichizon chronicles the hijinks of a five-girl student council. Each girl represents a different fetish: one is a loli, one is a sadist, one is a tomboy, one is a pussy, and one is a male. Every day in the student council room, these five girls continuously screw around and drop references until [...]

Cromartie High School? Slice-of-life? Holy shit, that would kick ass! I would do anything to live in a world where it’s plausible, let alone ordinary, to go to school with a sentient robot, a sushi-making gorilla, and Freddie Mercury. Unfortunately, Cromartie High School is the least realistic anime I have ever seen.

That’s not to say [...]

A lot of bloggers have recently posted their Top N Anime of the Decade lists. I’ve never cared to write these kinds of trendy posts (though I’m more than happy to criticize them). Even if I did get in on the posts, the vast majority of my readers wouldn’t care that it was part of [...]

I highly recommend that your first opinion be Snark’s, but if you want to be a bitch, you could read pretty much any other Shin Mazinger Z review on the internet, as they’re basically all the same. Whichever review you choose, make sure you read it exactly once—no more, no less.
Now you’ll get an opinion [...]

After waking up from a dream about destroying Springfield Elementary School Kyoto Animation, Bart Baka-Raptor joins Lisa [your name here] warpshadow, halfadeckshort, and Alejo at the breakfast table, where they excitedly discuss spending the summer at Kamp Krusty Umineko no Naku Koro ni, a summer camp run by Krusty the Clown Studio DEEN.
A week later, [...]

(From Maddox’s Comic)
Last season I was watching this lesbian show called Aoi Hana. It started off pretty slow, but approximately halfway into the series, one of the girls got dumped. Perfect. All the slow-moving drama would pay off tenfold if that goody two-shoes lesbian kid were to transform into a rancorous and psychotic distortion of [...]

In episode 24, a female sniper is assigned the task of killing Golgo 13. It’s impossible to beat Golgo 13 in a fair fight, and women in general fight dirty, so she plots to mess up Golgo 13’s eyesight by exposing him to the sandy Sirocco/Ghibli winds of Morocco. Little did she know that Golgo [...]

This is a slice-of-life picture. If you don’t get it, you’re looking it at wrong.
Ever notice how Lucky Star is a comedy? Ever been told that if you’re not watching it as a slice-of-life anime, you’re watching it wrong? Ever wished that Baka-Raptor would write a post on how that’s the stupidest shit in the [...]

Ranking can be a tedious process. I’m way too lazy to work my way through O(n log n) algorithms. Luckily, the intro sequence saved me the trouble:

#1: Alphard
But Baka-Raptor, you’re not supposed to start with #1! Going in reverse order builds suspense!
No it doesn’t. Leaving the shittiest character for the end builds true suspense. The [...]

Wow, another school-life comedy about a bunch of girls. The main character is a clueless transfer student. She’s also an orphan supported by a mysterious wealthy benefactor. Her only friend a back-talking puppet with a mind of its own (but not the kind that solves murder mysteries). And the student council she joins comprises a [...]

Get it? Punch-lines?!
I’d like to write reviews about all the shows I watch, but as a sophisticated hyperbolic discounter, I realize that’s not going to happen. To insure against the possibility of never voicing my opinion on a show, I created a one-liners page, which recently fell into disuse when I created a My Anime [...]

I was recently thinking about how much I suck at drawing, image editing, web design, and other forms of useful art, when I realized there’s a simple way to turn that all around: training in the mountains. Mountain training is a surefire way to get better at anything: martial arts, kendo, ninjutsu, homosexuality, mountain climbing, [...]

As you can infer from this kickass manga shot, I’m not trying to bullshit you about manliness like all those feminine hygiene commercials.

If you buy anything that’s marketed as  “_______ for men,” you’re a tool. It’s just like X-treme marketing. Putting the same shit in a different container doesn’t make it suck less.

I have no [...]

I was in the middle of beating Crystalis blindfolded when all of a sudden I was mysteriously teleported away from my computer. I took off my blindfold to see Haruhi prancing around, exclaiming she was thrilled to meet a dinosaur. I lazily autographed her face and began to make my way out. Upset that I [...]

No. Not again. I refuse to accept this. Why must all the tough guys in anime get stalked by little girls to show they have a caring side? Who’s next, Golgo 13? If I were in charge of writing the new FMA series, Scar’s encounter with May Chang would go something like this:

To think the [...]

Endless Eight was a waste of time, money, human resources, natural resources (e.g., oil, gas, animal pelt), bandwidth, and chakra. Good thing I didn’t watch Endless Eight—I watched Finite Five (skipped eps 5-7). It was only five-eighths as pedophilic.
You just read the most flattering review of Endless Eight on the internet.
Come on guys, IT IS [...]

At least the English intro is bad enough to be good
I want to like everything I watch. You might not get that impression from all the bashing I do on this site, but really, I give every show a fair chance. In fact, I probably try a lot harder than you (otherwise I wouldn’t like [...]

A few posts ago when I claimed that Asu no Yoichi is the best harem anime ever, various commenters contended that the following were better:

Clannad
Kanon
Suzuka
Ranma 1/2
High School of the Dead

I cannot agree, not because these shows are (all) bad, but because they’re not harems (with the possible exception of High School of the Dead, which [...]

Eikichi Onizuka and Ryuji Danma are the deadly duo, Oni-Baku (Demon Explosion), with the sole mission of losing their virginities. As they turn away from the gang life to accomplish this, old enemies resurface to haunt them, and new ones appear to take their fame. Before taking the women, Oni-Baku must first show their adversaries [...]

Glo the Legend recently described Asu no Yoichi as having “no god damn fucking cons.” Should you trust him? I can’t think of a reason not to, seeing as how he wrote a 100% truthful post about my trip to England.

Calling Asu no Yoichi the BEST HAREM ANIME EVER may seem heretical—until you actually take [...]

Hey, look at me, I’m Mr. Perfect. I never lose sight of what’s truly important in life and always believe in the goodness of the human heart, no matter how unfounded or irrational it may seem to the objective bystander. I’m so comfortable with who I am that my ludicrously flamboyant wardrobe doesn’t make me [...]

Just how boring is K-ON? Let’s put it this way: I paused episode 10 to rewatch an episode of Akikan.

Akikan: Crappy animation, original jokes
K-ON: Uncrappy animation, unoriginal jokes
Winner: Akikan
The jokes in K-ON are so stale that I’m forced to make up my own jokes to survive each episode.

See 1:39-1:45

I’m the king of the world, on [...]

Crystalis was the best RPG for the NES. Zelda sucked. Final Fantasy sucked. Then came Crystalis—a game so brilliant, so captivating, so devoid of pedophilia that it would surely take the gaming world by storm. Unfortunately, it came out so late in the life of the NES (1990) that it got lost amongst shitty games [...]

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After watching two episodes, I was ready to shelve Eden of the East for a marathon. It wasn’t bad, but aside from the animation quality, it didn’t strike me as anything promising. Memory loss. Biblical allusions. Male nudity. None of these turn me on. I shall address each in turn:
1. Male Nudity

Everyone seems to love [...]

Ayatsuri Sakon follows the crime-fighting adventures of Sakon, a bunraku puppeteer, and Ukon, Sakon’s wise-cracking puppet. Think of them as the Japanese Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat.

When Sakon’s deductive powers combine with Ukon’s moxy, the two have an uncanny knack for solving murder mysteries once half the suspects are already dead. How do they get [...]