Some say Rose of Versailles is as good as it gets. I say it has been better gotten. There’s one huge objective flaw that should keep anyone from giving RoV a perfect score. Most of the RoV characters are actual historical figures. Oscar is not. She’s not going to shoot the Duke of Orléans. She’s [...]

Everyone else knows something about microbes. Everyone else knows about Sawaki’s secret power. Oikawa knows nothing about anything. She’s out of place in every single scene that has anything to do with microbes, not to mention all the other scenes she screws up because she’s an annoying bitch. Stupid cow Her only reasons for existence [...]

Quick, name a GAR character. Did you say Kamina? Why not Guts, Kenshiro, or Golgo 13? Why is it Kamina’s name that’s synonymous with GAR? I asked the OH! Team to enlighten me. Baka-Raptor: I don’t get it. Why does everyone keep saying Kamina is GAR? Lbrevis: Kamina’s dramatic speeches, fearlessness and hotheaded battles with [...]

VS. Round 1: Episode 14 Kibure: Watched it five times, never saw her Flower Girl: Appeared thrice Advantage: Flower Girl Round 2: Macross 7 Dynamite OVA Flower Girl: Didn’t appear in it Kibure: Didn’t appear in it Advantage: Draw Round 3: Commercial Bump Flower Girl: Got one in the Fleet of the Strongest Women OVA, [...]

You’d think a guy who spent his whole life training in the mountains couldn’t possibly be useless. Indeed, he appeared to be quite the badass when we first saw him. Score Too bad he’s totally irrelevant for the rest of the show. He sucks up to Aoba. Aoba is oblivious. Rinse and repeat. Nothing ever [...]

Ranking can be a tedious process. I’m way too lazy to work my way through O(n log n) algorithms. Luckily, the intro sequence saved me the trouble: #1: Alphard But Baka-Raptor, you’re not supposed to start with #1! Going in reverse order builds suspense! No it doesn’t. Leaving the shittiest character for the end builds [...]

No. Not again. I refuse to accept this. Why must all the tough guys in anime get stalked by little girls to show they have a caring side? Who’s next, Golgo 13? If I were in charge of writing the new FMA series, Scar’s encounter with May Chang would go something like this: To think [...]

At least the English intro is bad enough to be good I want to like everything I watch. You might not get that impression from all the bashing I do on this site, but really, I give every show a fair chance. In fact, I probably try a lot harder than you (otherwise I wouldn’t [...]

Hey, look at me, I’m Mr. Perfect. I never lose sight of what’s truly important in life and always believe in the goodness of the human heart, no matter how unfounded or irrational it may seem to the objective bystander. I’m so comfortable with who I am that my ludicrously flamboyant wardrobe doesn’t make me [...]

The most heterosexual picture on my hard drive Despite my unwavering support of lesbianism in anime, I do occasionally approve of heterosexual relationships. The conditions are tough but fair: The male cannot be a complete loser The female cannot be a complete bitch Generally, both characters must be at least 18 years old If they’re [...]

The day after Christmas is a magical time when people flock to stores to return all the crappy gifts they’ve received. Certain anime personalities would like to make returns as well… Lelouch: Hello, I’d like to return this stupid-looking hat. Baka-Raptor: Do you have a receipt? Lelouch: No Baka-Raptor: No receipt, no return. Lelouch: Take [...]

Last night I was trying to print some notes for an open-book final when my printer unexpectedly started beeping at me. It refused to print my black & white notes because its color ink cartridges were supposedly empty. This confused me for several reasons: Why am I out of color ink? I never print anything [...]

Princess Lydia Princess Lydia From Elbing Kingdom I’m looking for him I’m going to Tytania [vid]hFPt5NuuzuM[/vid] This episode is basically about Moé Princess running away from her guardian, but instead of getting scolded, everyone gives her ice cream. Now I want to be a princess. How childish! How childish! Moé Princess, have you been taking [...]

Meet Karna, a legendary badass from the Mahabharata.1 Never heard of him? It’s a damn shame. There are at least three crappy anime adaptions of Romance of the Three Kingdoms but none for the Mahabharata. It has so much potential, not just to become an epic anime, but to become a bestseller. One billion Indians [...]

Get over to OH and watch it. Notes: The video is based off Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture and Code Geass R2 It took approximately 8 hours to make (2AM-10AM) Windows Movie Maker crashed three times Lip-synching is a pain in the ass, and I’m never doing it again In other news, Clannad just got 1000000x [...]

Somebody vector this pic Krauser-tan murdered her parents, and then raped them. She also does a mean cover of the Bitch Pig Symphony. How could you vote for anyone else? But Baka-Raptor, Krauser-tan isn’t in SaiMoe 2008! I’ve started this campaign for SaiMoe 2009. SaiMoe 2008 is already over. No it’s not! Yes it is. [...]

I was in the middle of a romantic dinner date with Athena… …when Alice interrupted us to yell at her. Athena apologized. Then Aria came out and started dancing! Awwww…he’s so cute…. …when Athena kicks him. I’m going to miss this show.

Fresh off my victory against Raki, I mysteriously found myself in Yuko’s shop. Greeting me with a sultry smile, Yuko offered to grant my deepest darkest desires. I immediately asked for the one thing all men crave: a roast leg of lamb. When Yuko summoned Watanuki to cook it, Watanuki threw one of his usual [...]

Approximately 10 days ago, I left a comment on The Scrumptious Anime Blog explaining why men don’t like Noe: “The problem with Noe is that she’s crazy. She’s always jumping out of trees and talking to chickens. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl who tries to make him eat chicken [...]

Genderbending totally doesn’t cast doubt on your sexuality. Unless you’re a man. Or a woman (although established scientific authorities have long asserted that all women are bisexual). I’ll be the first one to admit that any woman would be more attractive if she acted a little more like Kyon. What potent heterosexual male wouldn’t drool [...]

I’ve done what I could to protect the integrity of the word epic. Today I pass that baton to The Animanachronism and In Search of Number Nine, who substantiate their arguments through literary authority and philosophical discourse instead of linking to themselves. My half-assed crusade to redefine corrupted internet memes now shifts to a new [...]

Yes, you Name: Kibure Alias: Kikki Age: 14-16 Sex: Female Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Last seen: Infinite Ryvius, Episode 13 Reward: If you can locate Kibure in episode 14 of Infinite Ryvius, I will write a review of any anime you want. This is a perfect opportunity for you to suck up to me/piss me [...]

Yesterday I stumbled upon Raki crying in the woods. I attempted to cheer him up by letting him borrow my finest female erotica magazine. Disappointed that there weren’t any men in it, Raki threw my magazine in the river. How dare that bastard waste my porn! I angrily stomped on the ground, creating a rift [...]

I love Alice, but Baka-Raptor was right – that stuck-up little princess needs to show me some respect. Alice knew I was exhausted last night, but that didn’t stop her from yelling at me. That’s what I hate about having roommates: they’re always trying to keep me awake. Despite the continued harassment, I was kind [...]

Back when I was writing my midterm review of Mokke, I had no second thoughts about picking Mizuki as my favorite character. You may be wondering what possessed me to pick some little girl over the strict old man who beats her. I was partially won over by Mizuki’s zombie impression. Fuko fails Mizuki is [...]