Archive for the 'Characters' Category

Grouching about Oscar

Saturday, September 17th, 2011

Some say Rose of Versailles is as good as it gets. I say it has been better gotten. There’s one huge objective flaw that should keep anyone from giving RoV a perfect score. Most of the RoV characters are actual historical figures. Oscar is not. She’s not going to shoot the Duke of OrlĂ©ans. She’s […]

The Useless Character Hall of Shame: Hazuki Oikawa (Moyashimon)

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

Everyone else knows something about microbes. Everyone else knows about Sawaki’s secret power. Oikawa knows nothing about anything. She’s out of place in every single scene that has anything to do with microbes, not to mention all the other scenes she screws up because she’s an annoying bitch. Stupid cow Her only reasons for existence […]

Is Kamina GAR?

Friday, February 4th, 2011

Quick, name a GAR character. Did you say Kamina? Why not Guts, Kenshiro, or Golgo 13? Why is it Kamina’s name that’s synonymous with GAR? I asked the OH! Team to enlighten me. Baka-Raptor: I don’t get it. Why does everyone keep saying Kamina is GAR? Lbrevis: Kamina’s dramatic speeches, fearlessness and hotheaded battles with […]

Flower Girl vs. Kibure: An Objective Analysis

Saturday, October 2nd, 2010

VS. Round 1: Episode 14 Kibure: Watched it five times, never saw her Flower Girl: Appeared thrice Advantage: Flower Girl Round 2: Macross 7 Dynamite OVA Flower Girl: Didn’t appear in it Kibure: Didn’t appear in it Advantage: Draw Round 3: Commercial Bump Flower Girl: Got one in the Fleet of the Strongest Women OVA, […]

The Useless Character Hall of Shame: Mizuki Asami (Cross Game)

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

You’d think a guy who spent his whole life training in the mountains couldn’t possibly be useless. Indeed, he appeared to be quite the badass when we first saw him. Score Too bad he’s totally irrelevant for the rest of the show. He sucks up to Aoba. Aoba is oblivious. Rinse and repeat. Nothing ever […]

Ranking the Women of Canaan

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Ranking can be a tedious process. I’m way too lazy to work my way through O(n log n) algorithms. Luckily, the intro sequence saved me the trouble: #1: Alphard But Baka-Raptor, you’re not supposed to start with #1! Going in reverse order builds suspense! No it doesn’t. Leaving the shittiest character for the end builds […]

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

No. Not again. I refuse to accept this. Why must all the tough guys in anime get stalked by little girls to show they have a caring side? Who’s next, Golgo 13? If I were in charge of writing the new FMA series, Scar’s encounter with May Chang would go something like this: To think […]

Three Strikes for One Piece

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

At least the English intro is bad enough to be good I want to like everything I watch. You might not get that impression from all the bashing I do on this site, but really, I give every show a fair chance. In fact, I probably try a lot harder than you (otherwise I wouldn’t […]

Hey, look at me, I’m Mr. Perfect

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

Hey, look at me, I’m Mr. Perfect. I never lose sight of what’s truly important in life and always believe in the goodness of the human heart, no matter how unfounded or irrational it may seem to the objective bystander. I’m so comfortable with who I am that my ludicrously flamboyant wardrobe doesn’t make me […]

10 Heterosexual Couples I Support

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

The most heterosexual picture on my hard drive Despite my unwavering support of lesbianism in anime, I do occasionally approve of heterosexual relationships. The conditions are tough but fair: The male cannot be a complete loser The female cannot be a complete bitch Generally, both characters must be at least 18 years old If they’re […]