Category: Games

Summoning is Stupid

Summoning is the video game equivalent of calling over your big brother to fight for you on the playground. There’s neither skill nor honor. Fight for yourself you pussy. Summoning is a gimmick that’s been taken too far. While I […]

Uncharted 1–3: Fortune Among Deception

The Uncharted series follows the adventures of world pull-up champion Nathan Drake as he travels around the world doing pull-ups until he finds forbidden treasure. When Drake isn’t doing pull-ups, he’s generally either shooting people or doing some puzzle-solving bitch […]

An Unbiased Review of Ōkami

Five things that sucked: 1. Load Times Count up to 90. But Baka-Raptor, that’s a horrible waste of time! That’s how long it takes to turn on your PS2 and load up a saved game in Okami. One minute and […]

Ranking My NES Games

I owned only five games for my NES. This is in part because my parents are cheap and in part because I got the NES late in its life cycle (because my parents are cheap). When you have only five […]