Nice color scheme Five things that sucked: 1. Sword Beams Sword beams in Zelda are weak and inconsequential. Check out Crystalis for sword beams done right: More than one type of beam Beams are stronger than standard slashes Multiple levels […]
Five things that sucked: 1. The Knife Your only move is a horizontal slash. Since when were AMV Hell videos this misleading? But Baka-Raptor, what about the cut scene knife commands? 2. Cut Scene Commands Cut scenes aren’t supposed to […]
Three things that sucked: 1. Para-Medic According to Wikipedia: Para-Medic is a FOX support team member who provides Naked Snake with surgical and medical information as well as general information on the local flora and fauna. I beg to differ. […]
Five things that sucked: 1. Voice Acting Much of the dialogue was kind of clumsy, and this is coming from a guy who’s relatively accepting of crappy voice acting. Bear in mind, I’m not talking about the voices that are […]
Three things that sucked: 1. Not enough bosses God of War has only three real bosses: Ares, the Hydra, and the flaming bull. All other critical fights are against either a ton of standard enemies or a handful of slightly […]
I was recently thinking about how much I suck at drawing, image editing, web design, and other forms of useful art, when I realized there’s a simple way to turn that all around: training in the mountains. Mountain training is […]
Five Things That Sucked: 1. The Viewable Battle Area One jump and she’s already partially off-screen Each battlefield is a huge loop (indicated in the bottom-right corner), yet all you can see at any given time is a small rectangular […]
Crystalis was the best RPG for the NES. Zelda sucked. Final Fantasy sucked. Then came Crystalis—a game so brilliant, so captivating, so devoid of pedophilia that it would surely take the gaming world by storm. Unfortunately, it came out so […]
Deaths #1-3: The First Colossus These were legitimate “experimental deaths” because I had no clue what could kill me, nor did I have any clue what I was doing. Death #4: The Waterfall On the way to the fifth colossus, […]
I made a promise that I’d write an unbiased review of FFXII, and I’m damn well going to keep it. Three Things That Sucked: 1. Boring Townsfolk Booooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggg Is it just me, or do 90% of the townspeople in this […]