You might think I’m lazy for picking shows like this. Yeah. So I don’t have a “rational” basis for picking anime. Who does? Picking shows based on descriptions is an exercise in futility. One of my all-time favorite shows is about an ambiguously gay ghost who teaches a boy how to play go. Who in [...]

“Even I could find me” 1. Don’t change your name You went through all that trouble to escape; now you risk getting caught because you’re too lazy change your name? This is the same shit they pulled in Seirei no Moribito. At least Balsa made up some excuse about nobody believing she’d still be alive. [...]

Ouran High School Host Club II: Auron High School Host Club Auron would be the perfect apology for the first season’s unbridled gaiety. Scene 1: Auron breaks the host club’s precious vase/knee caps. Scene 2: All the girls fall hopelessly in love with Auron. Scene 3: Auron rejects them all because he’s not pedophile. Scene [...]

Step 1: Get Somebody Pregnant Pregnancy = Closure. There’s no question that pregnancy can’t answer: Did X and Y ever get together? Did X and Y ever patch up their stormy relationship? Did Y die without an heir? Who’s the father? What’s pregnancy + 0? Step 2: Show Every Character (but make us think you’ll [...]

People v. Goetz, 73 N.Y.2d 751 (Nov 22, 1988): Goetz entered a NYC subway car and sat down next to four young men. One of them said to Goetz, “Give me five dollars.” After the second request for money, Goetz rose from his seat and fired five shots. All four men survived, though one was [...]

From November 5, 2007 through February 12, 2008, the Writers Guild of America was on strike. What most people don’t know is that the writers were on strike in Japan too. There’s no other explanation for the recent proliferation of mind-numbing fanservice anime: To Love-Ru (Guy grabs alien girl’s tits, forced to marry her) Kanokon [...]

Approximately 10 days ago, I left a comment on The Scrumptious Anime Blog explaining why men don’t like Noe: “The problem with Noe is that she’s crazy. She’s always jumping out of trees and talking to chickens. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl who tries to make him eat chicken [...]

Warning: This show has the potential to be terrible. Don’t take this review as seriously as you normally take my objective, unbiased reviews. Warning #2: This show has boobs bouncing all over the place. If you hate boobs, Kamen no Maid Guy definitely isn’t the show for you. I’m ready to declare this the sleeper [...]

Genderbending totally doesn’t cast doubt on your sexuality. Unless you’re a man. Or a woman (although established scientific authorities have long asserted that all women are bisexual). I’ll be the first one to admit that any woman would be more attractive if she acted a little more like Kyon. What potent heterosexual male wouldn’t drool [...]

Dinosaurs, like lesbians, make everything better. No exceptions. 1. Dinosaurs = Drama The other day I was watching some boring anime about a little girl whose dog died. Boo hoo hoo, go down the pound and get a new one. They’ll even spay or neuter it for free! Nobody cares when dogs die. Dinosaurs, on [...]

I’ve done what I could to protect the integrity of the word epic. Today I pass that baton to The Animanachronism and In Search of Number Nine, who substantiate their arguments through literary authority and philosophical discourse instead of linking to themselves. My half-assed crusade to redefine corrupted internet memes now shifts to a new [...]

Round 1: Ghosts True Tears: No ghosts, just angels (which are even more boring than spirits) If only The Ghost of Raigomaru rose from hell to strike fear into the hearts of children… H2O: There’s an awesome ghost, but everyone calls her a spirit. Regardless, she is a ghost. Advantage: H2O Round 2: Lesbians True [...]

Code Geass: Great Anime or The Greatest Anime? I still can’t decide between this show and Darker than Black. Then again, why should I? Code Geass + Darker than Black + Code Geass S2 = Pizza Hut’s Anime Triple Decker lol! What, Pizza Hut discontinued the Triple Decker? Good, that shit was nasty. Pizza Hut [...]

I love this show! Darker than Black is Better than Great: it’s PERFECT! Now before you call me a hypocrite for suddenly praising a show that I recently criticized, I have a confession to make – I was a tool back then. Lately however, I’ve been seeing the world in a fresh, tastier light. Now [...]

One of the better characters on H2O is Hotaru, a delightful ghost girl. She’s slutty, mischievous, etc…, everything you want in a ghost. There’s just one problem: everyone refers to her as a spirit. She’s not a spirit; she’s a ghost. Get it right. Ghosts rock my soul. Spirits sock my roll. Even the evilest [...]

Everybody loves to bitch about how anime sets unreasonable standards for relationships, but what about food? People don’t need relationships, but we sure as hell need food. I’m hungry. I think I’ll eat some more of my brother’s birthday cake. Buying this cake was the nicest thing I’ve ever done intentionally. I’d say it even [...]