Archive for the 'Random' Category

Don’t vote for Hillary

Monday, August 8th, 2016

Your voting preference should be as follows: Third-party/independent/write-in Don’t vote Trump Hillary Everyone knows that Trump’s a shitty candidate, albeit for reasons as lazy as “he’s a racist!”, or as shallow as “his name was actually Drumpf!”. However, if you’re going by a lesser-of-two-evils analysis, Trump is by far the un-worse choice. Trump won’t have […]

The Social Justicing Continues

Saturday, July 18th, 2015

Gay Marriage Like several other landmark progressive Supreme Court decisions (e.g., Brown v. Board, Roe v. Wade), Obergefell v. Hodges’ moral arguments far outdid its legal arguments. Kennedy’s majority opinion was basically: Feelings Marriage is good Feelings Due Process and Equal Protection are intertwined somehow Feelings ??? Gay Marriage is Constitutional! Kennedy could’ve constitutionalized gay […]

How to Pass the Tochigi Driving Test

Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

Passing the Tochigi Driving Test isn’t about driving skillfully or safely. It’s about nothing more or less than playing by the precise set of rules, both written and unwritten, that the examiners set. I certainly don’t know all the rules. This guide merely lists all the rules I was able to pick up on the […]

Top 10 Bullshit Tickets

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Note: These aren’t necessarily the most ridiculous tickets out there. These are, however, the most ridiculous tickets that get issued on a somewhat regular basis. Obstructed View Legit: You have crap all over your windshield that keeps you from seeing the road. Bullshit: You have rosary beads, fuzzy dice, or an air freshener dangling from […]

How to be a Bitch in Traffic Court

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

“I work as a _______!” Nobody cares. You hear this shit from teachers, firefighters, teachers, priests, teachers, doctors, teachers, soldiers, teachers, and everyone else who thinks their job makes them better than everyone else. “My daddy/husband/uncle/godfather is a cop!” Too bad your daddy wasn’t the one who pulled you over. Pay up. “I volunteer at […]

The VW Darth Vader Commercial Sucks

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

I remember seeing this ad back in 2011 and thinking, “Wow, that’s a shitty commercial, good thing I’ll never see it again.” The commercial has since been branded a classic to the elation of not only geeks and pedophiles but a confederacy of dunces hastening the moral and financial decay of our morbidly consumerist society. […]

Talk-A-Raptor 09: Baka-Raptor Goes to Hogwarts

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Adam Carolla Still Exists, Writes Awesome Books

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Needs an AMV Ever since the end of The Man Show (i.e., the beginning of the Rogan & Stanhope atrocity), my only exposure to Adam Carolla was a few crappy segments of Too Late with Adam Carolla. I was told he was much better at podcasts, but I was too lazy to ever check them […]

The Raptormobile gets an Upgrade

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

I’d been looking for a way to hook up my mp3 player to my car radio ever since I found out that listening to headphones while driving is relatively illegal. At first I tried an FM transmitter, which worked great the 10% of the time it didn’t produce a static-garbled mess. Then I came across […]

I’ll update if you fix my laptop

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

As you can imagine, this pink line has destroyed my will to write. There has to be at least one computer geek among you who can figure something out. A few notes: – I hooked my laptop up to an external monitor. The pink line doesn’t show up on the external monitor. – I’ve tried […]