Archive for the 'Random' Category

Top 10 Bullshit Tickets

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Note: These aren’t necessarily the most ridiculous tickets out there. These are, however, the most ridiculous tickets that get issued on a somewhat regular basis. Obstructed View Legit: You have crap all over your windshield that keeps you from seeing the road. Bullshit: You have rosary beads, fuzzy dice, or an air freshener dangling from […]

How to be a Bitch in Traffic Court

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

“I work as a _______!” Nobody cares. You hear this shit from teachers, firefighters, teachers, priests, teachers, doctors, teachers, soldiers, teachers, and everyone else who thinks their job makes them better than everyone else. “My daddy/husband/uncle/godfather is a cop!” Too bad your daddy wasn’t the one who pulled you over. Pay up. “I volunteer at […]

The VW Darth Vader Commercial Sucks

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

I remember seeing this ad back in 2011 and thinking, “Wow, that’s a shitty commercial, good thing I’ll never see it again.” The commercial has since been branded a classic to the elation of not only geeks and pedophiles but a confederacy of dunces hastening the moral and financial decay of our morbidly consumerist society. […]

Talk-A-Raptor 09: Baka-Raptor Goes to Hogwarts

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Adam Carolla Still Exists, Writes Awesome Books

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Needs an AMV Ever since the end of The Man Show (i.e., the beginning of the Rogan & Stanhope atrocity), my only exposure to Adam Carolla was a few crappy segments of Too Late with Adam Carolla. I was told he was much better at podcasts, but I was too lazy to ever check them […]

The Raptormobile gets an Upgrade

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

I’d been looking for a way to hook up my mp3 player to my car radio ever since I found out that listening to headphones while driving is relatively illegal. At first I tried an FM transmitter, which worked great the 10% of the time it didn’t produce a static-garbled mess. Then I came across […]

I’ll update if you fix my laptop

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

As you can imagine, this pink line has destroyed my will to write. There has to be at least one computer geek among you who can figure something out. A few notes: – I hooked my laptop up to an external monitor. The pink line doesn’t show up on the external monitor. – I’ve tried […]

A Winner is Me

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Look at that, I won my fantasy football league. How nice. I’d be lying if I said that being a winner all my life hasn’t desensitized me to the once intoxicating pleasure of seeing others struggle with all their might only to fall haplessly before my feet. Still, I feel satisfied in fulfilling the social […]

Baka-Raptor goes to Washington

Friday, November 5th, 2010

As promised in a post that self-destructed as promised, I attended the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. The first step: driving to Citi Field. I’d been meaning to ditch my old car for quite a while, but cheapness and that fact that I have nobody to impress kept getting in my way. Then I […]

Reading Sucks

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but once upon a time I used to like reading. It’s true. Seriously. I’m not kidding. It was as recently as the eighth grade. For one particular assignment, my English teacher required us to read any 200+ page book of our choosing that was set […]