You know that gay show about emo ninjas I stopped watching approximately two years ago? Well I recently decided to give Nabari no Ou another chance. Every so often I fumble a show, that is to say, I drop it unintentionally. Such was the fate of Nabari no Ou upon its licensing. I cared so [...]

Slam Dunk Originally aired: 1993-96 Began watching: 2004 Ran out of subs: 2004 Number of Episodes: 101 Episodes missed: 89-101 (training for the national tournament) Thoughts: Too many crappy jokes. At times it’s worse than Lucky Star, no exaggeration. Picking up the series during a filler stretch was painful. The game is portrayed fairly realistically. [...]

1. The final boss is the Qwaser of Gold The philosophers among you might appreciate the symbolism of gold being the ultimate evil and iron overcoming it. Productive people realize that gold is one of the most industrially useless elements on the periodic table. The Qwaser of Oxygen suffocated people. The Qwaser of Sodium caused [...]

With my eyes currently out of commission, I’ve had to ignore a lot of anime I’d otherwise carefully and diligently research before ignoring. Spice and Wolf II: She still has a tail – get over it. Basquash: Stupid title Revolutionary Girl Utena Movie: Why bother watching anything that’s open to interpretation? Evangelion Movies: All I’ve heard [...]

I started watching Mouryou no Hako back in 2008. The show was great. My eyes were great. Unfortunately, neither was meant to last. Subbing for the show quickly slowed to a halt. At the time I couldn’t believe that fansubbers were running from a lesbian murder mystery. Now I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t be [...]

Five things that sucked: 1. The Knife Your only move is a horizontal slash. Since when were AMV Hell videos this misleading? But Baka-Raptor, what about the cut scene knife commands? 2. Cut Scene Commands Cut scenes aren’t supposed to be interactive; they’re supposed to be a chance to sit back and enjoy the show. [...]

These days, picking anime with teenage female casts is like walking through a minefield. For every show that’s good on its merits, another show is called good because “it is what it is.” When nobody differentiates between the good and the bad, how am I supposed to avoid the crap? Whatever happened to standards? There’s [...]

Remember how Kure-nai couldn’t stop fucking around? Shockingly, in the greatest redemption story mankind has ever witnessed, the author of Kure-nai bounced back and wrote Denpa teki na Kanojo. This time he didn’t fuck around one bit. Just look at the cover. There’s rain…a girl with an umbrella…doesn’t look like anything special…and then— OH SHIT, [...]

Three things that sucked: 1. Para-Medic According to Wikipedia: Para-Medic is a FOX support team member who provides Naked Snake with surgical and medical information as well as general information on the local flora and fauna. I beg to differ. The true purpose of Para-Medic is to bombard you with verbose yet minimally insightful movie [...]

All it took for Queen’s Blade to win my endorsement was a single episode. Twenty-three episodes later, I’m doubling down. I wouldn’t watch Queen’s Blade if it had a shitty story. Forget for a moment the stereotype that hentai/ecchi/fanservice anime have flimsy plots. A plot that’s “not bad for an ecchi anime” still wouldn’t cut [...]

Seitokai no Ichizon chronicles the hijinks of a five-girl student council. Each girl represents a different fetish: one is a loli, one is a sadist, one is a tomboy, one is a pussy, and one is a male. Every day in the student council room, these five girls continuously screw around and drop references until [...]

Cromartie High School? Slice-of-life? Holy shit, that would kick ass! I would do anything to live in a world where it’s plausible, let alone ordinary, to go to school with a sentient robot, a sushi-making gorilla, and Freddie Mercury. Unfortunately, Cromartie High School is the least realistic anime I have ever seen. That’s not to [...]

I highly recommend that your first opinion be Snark’s, but if you want to be a bitch, you could read pretty much any other Shin Mazinger Z review on the internet, as they’re basically all the same. Whichever review you choose, make sure you read it exactly once—no more, no less. Now you’ll get an [...]

Five things that sucked: 1. Voice Acting Much of the dialogue was kind of clumsy, and this is coming from a guy who’s relatively accepting of crappy voice acting. Bear in mind, I’m not talking about the voices that are supposed to sound ridiculous. 2. The Demon Forms of Elvis, Shannon, and Belze All true [...]

Three things that sucked: 1. Not enough bosses God of War has only three real bosses: Ares, the Hydra, and the flaming bull. All other critical fights are against either a ton of standard enemies or a handful of slightly powered-up enemies. Nobody cares about the small fries. It’s the boss fights that make a [...]

Wow, another school-life comedy about a bunch of girls. The main character is a clueless transfer student. She’s also an orphan supported by a mysterious wealthy benefactor. Her only friend a back-talking puppet with a mind of its own (but not the kind that solves murder mysteries). And the student council she joins comprises a [...]

As you can infer from this kickass manga shot, I’m not trying to bullshit you about manliness like all those feminine hygiene commercials. If you buy anything that’s marketed as  “_______ for men,” you’re a tool. It’s just like X-treme marketing. Putting the same shit in a different container doesn’t make it suck less. I [...]

Five Things That Sucked: 1. The Viewable Battle Area One jump and she’s already partially off-screen Each battlefield is a huge loop (indicated in the bottom-right corner), yet all you can see at any given time is a small rectangular portion of it (indicated in the upper-right corner). It’s barely large enough to contain Gwendolyn [...]

“Onani means masturbation. And that’s what this guy is good at. Every day after school, he sneaks into the mostly unused girls bathroom on the 3rd floor, and masturbates. Until one day when he’s caught… This is a story of mistakes, redemption, and the choices made in between. It contains the very worst and best [...]

At least the English intro is bad enough to be good I want to like everything I watch. You might not get that impression from all the bashing I do on this site, but really, I give every show a fair chance. In fact, I probably try a lot harder than you (otherwise I wouldn’t [...]

Eikichi Onizuka and Ryuji Danma are the deadly duo, Oni-Baku (Demon Explosion), with the sole mission of losing their virginities. As they turn away from the gang life to accomplish this, old enemies resurface to haunt them, and new ones appear to take their fame. Before taking the women, Oni-Baku must first show their adversaries [...]

Glo the Legend recently described Asu no Yoichi as having “no god damn fucking cons.” Should you trust him? I can’t think of a reason not to, seeing as how he wrote a 100% truthful post about my trip to England. Calling Asu no Yoichi the BEST HAREM ANIME EVER may seem heretical—until you actually [...]

Just how boring is K-ON? Let’s put it this way: I paused episode 10 to rewatch an episode of Akikan. Akikan: Crappy animation, original jokes K-ON: Uncrappy animation, unoriginal jokes Winner: Akikan The jokes in K-ON are so stale that I’m forced to make up my own jokes to survive each episode. See 1:39-1:45 I’m [...]

Ayatsuri Sakon follows the crime-fighting adventures of Sakon, a bunraku puppeteer, and Ukon, Sakon’s wise-cracking puppet. Think of them as the Japanese Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat. When Sakon’s deductive powers combine with Ukon’s moxy, the two have an uncanny knack for solving murder mysteries once half the suspects are already dead. How do they [...]

Last time I read a book, I had to push the limits of human creativity to fit lesbians into it. Not this time. Why bother reading when I could watch anime? Unfortunately, I’ve been suffering bouts of eye strain lately. I’ve been dropping glasses and everything. I am such a dojikko. So I’ve turned to [...]

Candy Boy is the most misleading title I’ve seen since Bible Black. Any of the following titles would’ve been more fitting: Candy Girl Candy Lesbian Candy Candy, Boy! EF – A Tale of Lesbians Candy Boy has only four characters: the lesbian twins, their lesbian stalker, and their little sister, who also happens to be a [...]

Deaths #1-3: The First Colossus These were legitimate “experimental deaths” because I had no clue what could kill me, nor did I have any clue what I was doing. Death #4: The Waterfall On the way to the fifth colossus, I swam down a waterfall, marking the first time in the history of the universe [...]

I don’t care about style. Whether characters look pointy or retarded doesn’t matter to me as long as I get a good story. What I do find annoying is when unconventional style becomes the focal point of the anime. Style should never take precedence over substance. Fooly Cooly: Yawn Lucky Star: Stupid Kaiba: Bullshit Do [...]

I picked up several shows from Fall 2008, but I’m only giving midterm grades for these five. You know why? Because most of them were too damn short. One season = 26 episodes. Let me reiterate: 1 Season = 26 Episodes I’m generous enough to give out midterm grades for series with 24 or 25 [...]

I made a promise that I’d write an unbiased review of FFXII, and I’m damn well going to keep it. Three Things That Sucked: 1. Boring Townsfolk Booooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggg Is it just me, or do 90% of the townspeople in this game have nothing interesting¹ to say? If I wanted to hear boring conversations go absolutely [...]

1. Real Pocky Product placement isn’t funny, unlike Trademark infringement. Two girls in swimsuits are trapped in a closet and all I can think about is trademark infringement. Why? Because I’m not a pedophile. Speaking of lesbians and pocky… 2. Not Enough Lesbian Pocky Scenes Speaking of lesbians… 3. No Lesbian Scene between the Director [...]

There was a time when baseball wasn’t boring. It was when I was eight years old and didn’t know any better. I was so ignorant about the true nature of baseball that I was a Yankees fan. Words cannot convey how ashamed I am. The only thing I can say in my defense is that [...]

CHEESE IS DELICIOUS Haruka’s secret is that she likes anime. Yawn. I hate anime about people who like anime. I also hate people who like anime. And I hate people. That’s three strikes. HNS was bound to suck. Or so I thought… Facts are facts: this show has every cliché in the book (except stepping [...]

Code Geass is about a genius named Lelouch. Lelouch has a power called “Geass,” which allows him to control people. Sometimes Lelouch wears a disguise. Lelouch wants to create a world where he can live happily every after. But many obstacles lie in his path. Lelouch formulates some brilliant strategies. And defeats all his enemies! [...]

No, but don’t expect filler movies to get much better. But Baka-Raptor, if you give a filler movie a positive review, won’t that encourage the production of more filler? No. Filler gets made no matter what I say. Positive reviews will at least promote the production of higher quality filler. When filler gets panned regardless [...]

Library Wars took the badass premise of War and had to ruin it with Libraries. What’s next, Homework Dinosaurs? Income Tax Lesbians? Indian Food? The lousy first impression doesn’t end with the title. I rarely skip an opening sequence in this golden age of crappy yet catchy j-pop intros, but honestly, if I want to [...]

I’m talking about xxxHoLiC Kei, the second season of the deceptively erotic xxxHoLiC franchise. It showed signs of improvement right from the opening, which is all Yuko and sans Watanuki for the first 40 seconds. [vid]HrCSyToTung[/vid] Then the show temporarily goes downhill. Watanuki couldn’t wait more than 30 seconds to throw his first bitchy tantrum [...]

Some of you have been bitching about this site’s recent dearth of anime reviews: “Nice review :p Need more anime reviews though, preferably of new ones!” – keke “I came here with a dinosaur joke but forgot it in the time it took to read all this crap… Er, I mean excellent, award winning content.” [...]

VS. Round 1: Deadpan Expression Golgo 13: Unflappable Hell Girl: Cried once, just because she was banished from her village and buried alive Advantage: Golgo 13 Round 2: Google Fight Hell Girl: 3,860,000 results Golgo 13: 548,000 results Advantage: Hell Girl Round 3: Hairstyle Hell Girl: Long, shiny, silky, flowing hair Golgo 13: The manliest [...]

Picking up with the same three categories from last time: 1. The Plot is still Crap The ending was terrible: show Murasaki, who’d supposedly given up on her freedom, conceived and brokered the most convenient compromise in the universe within minutes of Kurenai’s implausible yet predictable victory. Benika suddenly became the weakest character in the [...]