These days, picking anime with teenage female casts is like walking through a minefield. For every show that’s good on its merits, another show is called good because “it is what it is.” When nobody differentiates between the good and the bad, how am I supposed to avoid the crap? Whatever happened to standards? There’s [...]

Remember how Kure-nai couldn’t stop fucking around? Shockingly, in the greatest redemption story mankind has ever witnessed, the author of Kure-nai bounced back and wrote Denpa teki na Kanojo. This time he didn’t fuck around one bit. Just look at the cover. There’s rain…a girl with an umbrella…doesn’t look like anything special…and then—

OH SHIT, A [...]

Three things that sucked:
1. Para-Medic

According to Wikipedia:
Para-Medic is a FOX support team member who provides Naked Snake with surgical and medical information as well as general information on the local flora and fauna.
I beg to differ. The true purpose of Para-Medic is to bombard you with verbose yet minimally insightful movie analogies in an effort [...]

All it took for Queen’s Blade to win my endorsement was a single episode. Twenty-three episodes later, I’m doubling down.

I wouldn’t watch Queen’s Blade if it had a shitty story. Forget for a moment the stereotype that hentai/ecchi/fanservice anime have flimsy plots. A plot that’s “not bad for an ecchi anime” still wouldn’t cut it. [...]

Seitokai no Ichizon chronicles the hijinks of a five-girl student council. Each girl represents a different fetish: one is a loli, one is a sadist, one is a tomboy, one is a pussy, and one is a male. Every day in the student council room, these five girls continuously screw around and drop references until [...]

Cromartie High School? Slice-of-life? Holy shit, that would kick ass! I would do anything to live in a world where it’s plausible, let alone ordinary, to go to school with a sentient robot, a sushi-making gorilla, and Freddie Mercury. Unfortunately, Cromartie High School is the least realistic anime I have ever seen.

That’s not to say [...]

I highly recommend that your first opinion be Snark’s, but if you want to be a bitch, you could read pretty much any other Shin Mazinger Z review on the internet, as they’re basically all the same. Whichever review you choose, make sure you read it exactly once—no more, no less.
Now you’ll get an opinion [...]

Five things that sucked:
1. Voice Acting
Much of the dialogue was kind of clumsy, and this is coming from a guy who’s relatively accepting of crappy voice acting. Bear in mind, I’m not talking about the voices that are supposed to sound ridiculous.

2. The Demon Forms of Elvis, Shannon, and Belze

All true except Panel #4
In an [...]

Three things that sucked:
1. Not enough bosses

God of War has only three real bosses: Ares, the Hydra, and the flaming bull. All other critical fights are against either a ton of standard enemies or a handful of slightly powered-up enemies. Nobody cares about the small fries. It’s the boss fights that make a game memorable.
2. [...]

Wow, another school-life comedy about a bunch of girls. The main character is a clueless transfer student. She’s also an orphan supported by a mysterious wealthy benefactor. Her only friend a back-talking puppet with a mind of its own (but not the kind that solves murder mysteries). And the student council she joins comprises a [...]

As you can infer from this kickass manga shot, I’m not trying to bullshit you about manliness like all those feminine hygiene commercials.

If you buy anything that’s marketed as  “_______ for men,” you’re a tool. It’s just like X-treme marketing. Putting the same shit in a different container doesn’t make it suck less.

I have no [...]

Five Things That Sucked:
1. The Viewable Battle Area

One jump and she’s already partially off-screen
Each battlefield is a huge loop (indicated in the bottom-right corner), yet all you can see at any given time is a small rectangular portion of it (indicated in the upper-right corner). It’s barely large enough to contain Gwendolyn and a Unicorn [...]

“Onani means masturbation. And that’s what this guy is good at. Every day after school, he sneaks into the mostly unused girls bathroom on the 3rd floor, and masturbates. Until one day when he’s caught…
This is a story of mistakes, redemption, and the choices made in between. It contains the very worst and best of [...]

At least the English intro is bad enough to be good
I want to like everything I watch. You might not get that impression from all the bashing I do on this site, but really, I give every show a fair chance. In fact, I probably try a lot harder than you (otherwise I wouldn’t like [...]

Eikichi Onizuka and Ryuji Danma are the deadly duo, Oni-Baku (Demon Explosion), with the sole mission of losing their virginities. As they turn away from the gang life to accomplish this, old enemies resurface to haunt them, and new ones appear to take their fame. Before taking the women, Oni-Baku must first show their adversaries [...]

Glo the Legend recently described Asu no Yoichi as having “no god damn fucking cons.” Should you trust him? I can’t think of a reason not to, seeing as how he wrote a 100% truthful post about my trip to England.

Calling Asu no Yoichi the BEST HAREM ANIME EVER may seem heretical—until you actually take [...]

Just how boring is K-ON? Let’s put it this way: I paused episode 10 to rewatch an episode of Akikan.

Akikan: Crappy animation, original jokes
K-ON: Uncrappy animation, unoriginal jokes
Winner: Akikan
The jokes in K-ON are so stale that I’m forced to make up my own jokes to survive each episode.

See 1:39-1:45

I’m the king of the world, on [...]

Ayatsuri Sakon follows the crime-fighting adventures of Sakon, a bunraku puppeteer, and Ukon, Sakon’s wise-cracking puppet. Think of them as the Japanese Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat.

When Sakon’s deductive powers combine with Ukon’s moxy, the two have an uncanny knack for solving murder mysteries once half the suspects are already dead. How do they get [...]

Last time I read a book, I had to push the limits of human creativity to fit lesbians into it. Not this time.
Why bother reading when I could watch anime? Unfortunately, I’ve been suffering bouts of eye strain lately.

I’ve been dropping glasses and everything. I am such a dojikko.
So I’ve turned to reading as [...]

Candy Boy is the most misleading title I’ve seen since Bible Black. Any of the following titles would’ve been more fitting:

Candy Girl
Candy Lesbian
Candy
Candy, Boy!
EF – A Tale of Lesbians

Candy Boy has only four characters: the lesbian twins, their lesbian stalker, and their little sister, who also happens to be a lesbian. No boys. Any possibility of [...]

Deaths #1-3: The First Colossus

These were legitimate “experimental deaths” because I had no clue what could kill me, nor did I have any clue what I was doing.
Death #4: The Waterfall
On the way to the fifth colossus, I swam down a waterfall, marking the first time in the history of the universe that a fictional [...]

I don’t care about style. Whether characters look pointy or retarded doesn’t matter to me as long as I get a good story. What I do find annoying is when unconventional style becomes the focal point of the anime. Style should never take precedence over substance.

Fooly Cooly: Yawn
Lucky Star: Stupid
Kaiba: Bullshit

Do you think you can [...]

I picked up several shows from Fall 2008, but I’m only giving midterm grades for these five. You know why? Because most of them were too damn short. One season = 26 episodes. Let me reiterate:
1 Season = 26 Episodes
I’m generous enough to give out midterm grades for series with 24 or 25 episodes. 13 [...]

I made a promise that I’d write an unbiased review of FFXII, and I’m damn well going to keep it.
Three Things That Sucked:
1. Boring Townsfolk

Booooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggg
Is it just me, or do 90% of the townspeople in this game have nothing interesting¹ to say? If I wanted to hear boring conversations go absolutely nowhere, I’d talk to [...]

1. Real Pocky

Product placement isn’t funny, unlike Trademark infringement.

Two girls in swimsuits are trapped in a closet and all I can think about is trademark infringement. Why? Because I’m not a pedophile. Speaking of lesbians and pocky…
2. Not Enough Lesbian Pocky Scenes

Speaking of lesbians…
3. No Lesbian Scene between the Director and her Assistant

Talk about wasted [...]

There was a time when baseball wasn’t boring. It was when I was eight years old and didn’t know any better. I was so ignorant about the true nature of baseball that I was a Yankees fan. Words cannot convey how ashamed I am. The only thing I can say in my defense is that [...]

CHEESE IS DELICIOUS
Haruka’s secret is that she likes anime. Yawn. I hate anime about people who like anime. I also hate people who like anime. And I hate people. That’s three strikes. HNS was bound to suck.
Or so I thought…
Facts are facts: this show has every cliché in the book (except stepping on twigs).

Slipping & [...]

Code Geass is about a genius named Lelouch.

Lelouch has a power called “Geass,” which allows him to control people.

Sometimes Lelouch wears a disguise.

Lelouch wants to create a world where he can live happily every after.

But many obstacles lie in his path.

Lelouch formulates some brilliant strategies.

And defeats all his enemies!

Then he gets killed by his best [...]

No, but don’t expect filler movies to get much better.

But Baka-Raptor, if you give a filler movie a positive review, won’t that encourage the production of more filler?
No. Filler gets made no matter what I say. Positive reviews will at least promote the production of higher quality filler. When filler gets panned regardless of its [...]

Library Wars took the badass premise of War and had to ruin it with Libraries. What’s next, Homework Dinosaurs? Income Tax Lesbians? Indian Food?
The lousy first impression doesn’t end with the title. I rarely skip an opening sequence in this golden age of crappy yet catchy j-pop intros, but honestly, if I want to see [...]

I’m talking about xxxHoLiC Kei, the second season of the deceptively erotic xxxHoLiC franchise. It showed signs of improvement right from the opening, which is all Yuko and sans Watanuki for the first 40 seconds.
[vid]HrCSyToTung[/vid]
Then the show temporarily goes downhill. Watanuki couldn’t wait more than 30 seconds to throw his first bitchy tantrum of the [...]

Some of you have been bitching about this site’s recent dearth of anime reviews:
“Nice review :p Need more anime reviews though, preferably of new ones!” – keke
“I came here with a dinosaur joke but forgot it in the time it took to read all this crap… Er, I mean excellent, award winning content.” – Yamcha
“Finaaaaly [...]