I once complained that Candy Boy had a misleading title. The upside, which I failed to appreciate at the time, is that it was the good kind of misleading: the kind that surprised you with lesbians. Yuru Yuri’s deception isn’t so generous. It has yuri in the title, another word that’s 3/4 yuri, and a [...]

Aoi Hana once inspired me to draw a distinction between real lesbians and super lesbians, mainly because the “lesbians” in Aoi Hana were constantly crying instead of groping each other. Not only was I hoping for another kind of waterworks, the horrendous cry/grope ratio was only one of several criticisms I had of the show. [...]

Everyone else knows something about microbes. Everyone else knows about Sawaki’s secret power. Oikawa knows nothing about anything. She’s out of place in every single scene that has anything to do with microbes, not to mention all the other scenes she screws up because she’s an annoying bitch. Stupid cow Her only reasons for existence [...]

VS. Round 1: Japanese Title Jellyfish Princess: Kuragehime (5 syllables, all one word) Squid Girl: Shinryaku! Ika Musume (8-9 syllables, three words, questionable punctuation) Advantage: Jellyfish Princess Round 2: Not Improperly Called Slice-of-Life Jellyfish Princess: Animesuki 2010 Choice Awards Squid Girl: Anime News Network Advantage: Draw Round 3: Tentacle Rape Jellyfish Princess: Only date rape [...]

I started watching Mouryou no Hako back in 2008. The show was great. My eyes were great. Unfortunately, neither was meant to last. Subbing for the show quickly slowed to a halt. At the time I couldn’t believe that fansubbers were running from a lesbian murder mystery. Now I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t be [...]

90% of all betesticled anime characters look like girls. Many have six-pack abs yet act like complete pussies. Only one part of the body never lies: sideburns. In this dark age of androgyny and pedophilia, sideburns are the only reliable indicator of manliness. Thick, thin, long, short, neat, sloppy, straight, tapered—as long as you have [...]

These days, picking anime with teenage female casts is like walking through a minefield. For every show that’s good on its merits, another show is called good because “it is what it is.” When nobody differentiates between the good and the bad, how am I supposed to avoid the crap? Whatever happened to standards? There’s [...]

(From Maddox’s Comic) Last season I was watching this lesbian show called Aoi Hana. It started off pretty slow, but approximately halfway into the series, one of the girls got dumped. Perfect. All the slow-moving drama would pay off tenfold if that goody two-shoes lesbian kid were to transform into a rancorous and psychotic distortion [...]

No. Not again. I refuse to accept this. Why must all the tough guys in anime get stalked by little girls to show they have a caring side? Who’s next, Golgo 13? If I were in charge of writing the new FMA series, Scar’s encounter with May Chang would go something like this: To think [...]

Here’s the link to the game visual novel:  http://not.dotq.org/ccy/. Warning: the game is still in development, and it’s a huge inside jokkake that presumably has minimal appeal to anyone who doesn’t appear in it. Play at your own discretion. Interview #2: Gargron Gargron recently finished up his third piece of fanart and thus was granted [...]

After watching two episodes, I was ready to shelve Eden of the East for a marathon. It wasn’t bad, but aside from the animation quality, it didn’t strike me as anything promising. Memory loss. Biblical allusions. Male nudity. None of these turn me on. I shall address each in turn: 1. Male Nudity Everyone seems [...]

Last time I read a book, I had to push the limits of human creativity to fit lesbians into it. Not this time. Why bother reading when I could watch anime? Unfortunately, I’ve been suffering bouts of eye strain lately. I’ve been dropping glasses and everything. I am such a dojikko. So I’ve turned to [...]

Candy Boy is the most misleading title I’ve seen since Bible Black. Any of the following titles would’ve been more fitting: Candy Girl Candy Lesbian Candy Candy, Boy! EF – A Tale of Lesbians Candy Boy has only four characters: the lesbian twins, their lesbian stalker, and their little sister, who also happens to be a [...]

1. Punchline Overkill Holy shit, it’s like I’m watching Lucky Star all over again. Cut the bullshit punchline reinforcement and move on. Even Kanako’s lesbian observations are getting on my nerves. REALLY?!?! Perhaps some viewers have difficulty picking up lesbian innuendo. Not me. My lesbian mangekyou sharingan identifies lesbian innuendo 100x faster than Kanako and [...]

Tytania 10: Discount Space Pornography Fan Hyulick picks up a prostitute as soon as he lands on planet Barghash (and you thought I was joking about Tytania being Space Pornography). The prostitute says she’ll give him a discount because he’s sexy. Here’s a little advice: they all say that (you don’t know her going rate, [...]

1. Real Pocky Product placement isn’t funny, unlike Trademark infringement. Two girls in swimsuits are trapped in a closet and all I can think about is trademark infringement. Why? Because I’m not a pedophile. Speaking of lesbians and pocky… 2. Not Enough Lesbian Pocky Scenes Speaking of lesbians… 3. No Lesbian Scene between the Director [...]

1. A Natsuki look-alike named Natsuki 2. Fire-Breathing Dinosaurs 3. Evil Lesbians 4. Mr. Iron 5. In Medias Res In medias res, also medias in res (Latin for “into the middle of things”), is a literary and artistic technique where the narrative starts in the middle of the story instead of from its beginning. – Wikipedia [...]

Financial Bailouts Even Krauser looks chaste compared to the fiendish Secretary Paulson. 700 billion dollars for bailouts = 700 billion rapes per second. SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP DEAR AMERICAN: I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE. I AM MINISTRY OF [...]

People v. Goetz, 73 N.Y.2d 751 (Nov 22, 1988): Goetz entered a NYC subway car and sat down next to four young men. One of them said to Goetz, “Give me five dollars.” After the second request for money, Goetz rose from his seat and fired five shots. All four men survived, though one was [...]

Round 1: Ghosts True Tears: No ghosts, just angels (which are even more boring than spirits) If only The Ghost of Raigomaru rose from hell to strike fear into the hearts of children… H2O: There’s an awesome ghost, but everyone calls her a spirit. Regardless, she is a ghost. Advantage: H2O Round 2: Lesbians True [...]

*No lesbians or tales thereof ef – a tale of memories: Amazing anime, horrendous title. They might as well have named the show please ignore me: the animation. At least please ignore me: the animation trumpets the X-factor of reverse psychology. ef – a tale of memories is just plain worthless. Great titles, like EF [...]