A Linear Review of Final Fantasy XIII

Friday, May 2nd, 2014

From the New World Takes Itself Seriously

Sunday, January 19th, 2014

From the New World feels like it’s from the old world, in that it takes you back to a time when plot mattered and seriousness was considered a good thing. Nowadays everyone’s praising anime that “doesn’t take itself seriously.” It’s the non-blood-related sister of “it is what it is.” If you want mediocrity, by all […]

Non-Psycho-Pass Shows that Need a Second Season

Saturday, October 26th, 2013

A few years ago, I listed a few Non-Haruhi shows that needed a second season. None of them got one. Haruhi did. It sucked. Now I hear that Psycho-Pass is getting a second season. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing. Why not give some of these other shows a second season instead? Umineko no […]

Yuru Yuri: Too Much Yuru, Not Enough Yuri

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

I once complained that Candy Boy had a misleading title. The upside, which I failed to appreciate at the time, is that it was the good kind of misleading: the kind that surprised you with lesbians. Yuru Yuri’s deception isn’t so generous. It has yuri in the title, another word that’s 3/4 yuri, and a […]

Aoi Hana Gets Real

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

Aoi Hana once inspired me to draw a distinction between real lesbians and super lesbians, mainly because the “lesbians” in Aoi Hana were constantly crying instead of groping each other. Not only was I hoping for another kind of waterworks, the horrendous cry/grope ratio was only one of several criticisms I had of the show. […]

The Useless Character Hall of Shame: Hazuki Oikawa (Moyashimon)

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

Everyone else knows something about microbes. Everyone else knows about Sawaki’s secret power. Oikawa knows nothing about anything. She’s out of place in every single scene that has anything to do with microbes, not to mention all the other scenes she screws up because she’s an annoying bitch. Stupid cow Her only reasons for existence […]

Squid Girl vs. Jellyfish Princess: An Objective Analysis

Saturday, February 19th, 2011

VS. Round 1: Japanese Title Jellyfish Princess: Kuragehime (5 syllables, all one word) Squid Girl: Shinryaku! Ika Musume (8-9 syllables, three words, questionable punctuation) Advantage: Jellyfish Princess Round 2: Not Improperly Called Slice-of-Life Jellyfish Princess: Animesuki 2010 Choice Awards Squid Girl: Anime News Network Advantage: Draw Round 3: Tentacle Rape Jellyfish Princess: Only date rape […]

Mouryou no Hako was better when I could see

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

I started watching Mouryou no Hako back in 2008. The show was great. My eyes were great. Unfortunately, neither was meant to last. Subbing for the show quickly slowed to a halt. At the time I couldn’t believe that fansubbers were running from a lesbian murder mystery. Now I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t be […]

Real Men have Sideburns

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

90% of all betesticled anime characters look like girls. Many have six-pack abs yet act like complete pussies. Only one part of the body never lies: sideburns. In this dark age of androgyny and pedophilia, sideburns are the only reliable indicator of manliness. Thick, thin, long, short, neat, sloppy, straight, tapered—as long as you have […]

Taishou Yakyuu Musume is what it is: Delightful

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

These days, picking anime with teenage female casts is like walking through a minefield. For every show that’s good on its merits, another show is called good because “it is what it is.” When nobody differentiates between the good and the bad, how am I supposed to avoid the crap? Whatever happened to standards? There’s […]