How to Turn an Ignorant Dumbass into an
"Anime Freak"

Two of my little cousins from India visited me over the summer. Surprise, they were totally useless and had no taste in anything (which is arguably necessary to survive in India). For example, they put salt on their watermelon � disgusting. Then they'd shamelessly express their enthusiasm for the trashiest crap on American TV, all the while finding it consistent to bash American culture:

Then when they discovered that I like anime, they called me all sorts of creative names, such as "anime freak", "anime freak", and even worse, "anime freak". Yet despite their utter lack of sense, it took me less than one week to have them grovelling at my feet for episodes of Death Note. Boku no kachi da! If those tools could get hooked on anime, anyone can.

How can you turn an ignorant dumbass into an anime freak? Follow these three simple steps:

1. Don't be a Loser

Some people think that anime freaks only like anime because they're socially inept losers who don't have any friends. In order to convince them that anime is a priority instead of a last resort, you need to demonstrate that you're not a loser. This is a two step process.

First of all, get in shape. If you look like a loser, nobody will listen to you. This is especially true if you're a girl. If you're fat, go on a diet. If you're thin, hit the gym. Also, please shower every day.

Now that you don't look like a loser, you're ready for the next step: don't act like a loser. Consider the following scenario:

NEVER beg, pester, or otherwise compromise your self-esteem to get somebody else to watch anime. If they don't watch anime, it's their loss, not yours. Observe the correct way to handle this situation:

Rejecting somebody ALWAYS works, especially if you have a gun. If you choose watching anime over spending time with another human being, he or she will go through a 4-step emotional journey culminating in intrigue:

1. Confusion (Wait, he rejected me for anime?)
2. Rage (How dare he reject me for anime!)
3. Jealousy (Anime can't possibly be better than me...)
4. Intrigue (...or can it?)

That's when you make your move.

2. Show them something conservative

By conservative, I mean something that won't scare a newbie away. Something like Azumanga Daioh might be awesome if you're used to anime, but if you're not used to anime, watching Azumanga Daioh might scar you for life. Ideally, you want something addictive that's proven itself through widespread appeal amongst newbies. The following categories are generally acceptable:

The following categories may be acceptable depending on the show. Choose wisely:

The following categories are forbidden:

I recommend any of the following as a first series:

There are definitely more (especially shoujo titles that I've never seen [or maybe I have]), but I'm sure that most shows on this list would suffice.

3. Contract them to a minimum number of episodes

The first few episodes of an anime series are usually the most boring. Furthermore, if you're skeptical about anime, it's very easy to quit a show prematurely. That's why you should tell somebody not to judge a show until he's seen episode X, where X is the first episode that accurately portrays the quality of the show. For example, I made my cousins watch at least two episodes of Death Note (it's just not Death Note without L). If the person still doesn't like the show after that many episodes, accept it and move on.

One Piece sucked for the first 6023 episodes