Kyon is not a girl

Genderbending totally doesn’t cast doubt on your sexuality. Unless you’re a man. Or a woman (although established scientific authorities have long asserted that all women are bisexual).

I’ll be the first one to admit that any woman would be more attractive if she acted a little more like Kyon. What potent heterosexual male wouldn’t drool at the thought of a girl lugging his heater up a hill on a rainy day? Regardless, Kyon is not, was not, and never will be a girl. Drawing him in a skirt and calling him “Kyonko” won’t change the fact that you’re hot for a man.

How is this any different from wanting to bang one of those “trap” characters? For those of you who’ve never read a shoujo manga, a trap character is a crossdresser whose true gender isn’t revealed until you’ve already looked at him the wrong way. Claim: genderbending makes you even more geyyyy than falling for a trap character. It’s like the crossdresser reveals himself to be a male, but instead of accepting it, you shut your eyes, cover your ears, and fantasize about sodomy.

Normally, I’d just ignore the genderbending crowd. However, with my page rank in the low single digits (specifically zero), selling out to the latest fad doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Presenting GenderbendeRaptor (aka Raptorko):

Raptorko is a female dinosaur whose personality is exactly like Baka-Raptor’s. Her positive female role models include Clare and Balsa. In her spare time, she enjoys writing sarcastic anime reviews and cooking jambalaya. At school, lesbian dinosaurs comically molest Raptorko until she gives in to wearing a revealing bunny-girl costume. Other male fantasies she fulfills: taking less than 5 minutes to put on her makeup, knowing how to change a flat tire, and not expecting you to call every day.

Now that’s pure moĆ©! I’d better upgrade my webhosting plan now, because once word about Raptorko gets out, the hits won’t stop coming!