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Kyon is not a girl

Genderbending totally doesn’t cast doubt on your sexuality. Unless you’re a man. Or a woman (although established scientific authorities have long asserted that all women are bisexual).

I’ll be the first one to admit that any woman would be more attractive if she acted a little more like Kyon. What potent heterosexual male wouldn’t drool at the thought of a girl lugging his heater up a hill on a rainy day? Regardless, Kyon is not, was not, and never will be a girl. Drawing him in a skirt and calling him “Kyonko” won’t change the fact that you’re hot for a man.

How is this any different from wanting to bang one of those “trap” characters? For those of you who’ve never read a shoujo manga, a trap character is a crossdresser whose true gender isn’t revealed until you’ve already looked at him the wrong way. Claim: genderbending makes you even more geyyyy than falling for a trap character. It’s like the crossdresser reveals himself to be a male, but instead of accepting it, you shut your eyes, cover your ears, and fantasize about sodomy.

Normally, I’d just ignore the genderbending crowd. However, with my page rank in the low single digits (specifically zero), selling out to the latest fad doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Presenting GenderbendeRaptor (aka Raptorko):

Raptorko is a female dinosaur whose personality is exactly like Baka-Raptor’s. Her positive female role models include Clare and Balsa. In her spare time, she enjoys writing sarcastic anime reviews and cooking jambalaya. At school, lesbian dinosaurs comically molest Raptorko until she gives in to wearing a revealing bunny-girl costume. Other male fantasies she fulfills: taking less than 5 minutes to put on her makeup, knowing how to change a flat tire, and not expecting you to call every day.

Now that’s pure moé! I’d better upgrade my webhosting plan now, because once word about Raptorko gets out, the hits won’t stop coming!

27 Replies to “Kyon is not a girl”

  1. “# IKnight Says:
    April 11th, 2008 at 10:54 am

    So does lust for Raptorko make you a furry? I mean, it’s not like raptors have fur.”

    They might have fur down there.

    Anyway, haha raptorko 😀 Totally brilliant!

  2. That ‘Kyonko’ is not a girl either. I mean, the character on the image is flat enough to be a guy. With long hair, which is normal for some lazy IT-Geeks. She/he is blushing because it’s cold without trousers. Disgusting.

  3. Here goes nothing:

    @lolikitsune: I’m a fan of the demotivational posters: http://www.despair.com/

    @Kabitzin: I’ve got a glasses Raptorko in development

    @IKnight: I didn’t even know what a furry was until today. Now I’ll have to think twice before posting sexy raptor pics…

    @keke: Raptorko is brilliant if I do say so myself

    @Coaxen: By that logic, Raptorko could also be a dude. It’s not like you can see her goods in that picture.

    @ExiledShinobi: It probably doesn’t have to, but it worked for Kyonko.

  4. I generally dislike the genderbending of SHnY. I really don’t know the whole thing but it seems most men said the “yuri” undertones of genberding SHnY is better than “yaoi” ones in the original.

    However there are some shows will be cooler with genderbending. My best bet will be Junjo Romantica and Gravitation. Let’s see how many yaoi fangirls will be annoyed with this trend.

  5. @Baka-Raptor: Usually, I don’t try to determine the gender of a huge animal. Be it a stuffed one or a real one. It’s none of my business, as a human. Maybe zoophiles are interested in such things. It’s just that a transvestite is a sexual threat for me, while a dinosaur with makeup is an other kind threat.

    Oh, and about that ‘established scientific authorities’… I read somewhere that relatively attractive women attract themselves(in a way), while attractive men repel each other(it’s a countermeasure against becoming gay).

    Which suggests that the very core of genderbending is the twisted female fandom(yaoi fans are a part of that group). Rumiko(is she a female version of Rumi or what?) Takahashi was one of the first authors that started this shady business.

    Some lonely fat girls just thought: “Kyon is sooooo Qute! He’ll be even cuter in a skirt!!With clean-shaven legs and a stupid blush! Burp.”

  6. You’ve been on the internet all this while, WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT A FURRY WAS? That’s dangerous. Like, ‘taking an evening stroll without knowing what open manholes are’ dangerous.

    Also, I blame this trend on Capcom’s “midnight bliss’ move in the darkstalkers series. It probably has nothing to do with it. But hey. Screw you too.

  7. You know, speaking of Raptor-ko…
    There’s actually a manga that depicts a T-Rex that’s thrown forward in time to the present, and takes the body of a teenage girl in Japan.

    The name evades me right now, but I’ll go dig it up later and report back.

  8. Well…I honestly think I can look at Kyonko and find her attractive and not question my sexuality. I mean, it’s a woman’s body that I am looking at, seeing as she IS a girl, just based off of a male. Or maybe it’s just that I really find ponytails attractive, who knows.

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