Evangelion 02: Penguins?!

Pen Pen: Best Character Ever

The episode begins with Shinji trying to make the robot walk. It trips after two steps. Then the Angel picks it up, crushes its left arm, and stabs it through the face.

Has Shinji been defeated?

The next thing we know, Shinji is lying in hospital bed. The Evangelion is a total wreck.

Cut to Shinji’s father having a backroom meeting with some evil bureaucrats.

We shall reenact this scene starring Nostalgia-Raptor as Shinji’s father and Block-A-Raptor and The Ghost of Pizza-Raptor as evil bureaucrats.

Nii-sama, can I be an evil bureaucrat too?

No. Get back in the kitchen.

Raptorpiece Theatre Presents:

The BureaucRaptors

We’re cutting your budget.

But I just saved mankind!

You also destroyed two phone booths and a skyscraper.

That’s nothing compared to the damage that would taken place if we hadn’t stepped in! Did you see how the UN got wrecked in the last episode?

You were inefficient. Bureaucrats don’t tolerate inefficiency.

And you let your son be the pilot. That’s corrupt, and nobody likes him.

But he’s the only one who can do it! Literally! With 6 x 10^9 people in the world and a 10^-10 chance of any individual being a capable pilot, we’re lucky to even have one!

Fuck you.

We’re cutting your budget. Don’t let us see this shit again.

The End

Moving along, Misato is shocked to learn that Shinji doesn’t want to live with his father. Feeling sorry for Shinji, Misato takes him in as her roommate.

Fanservice ensues.

Impressive censorship.

It’s Pen Pen!

Hauuu~ Omochikaeri!

Check out those dexterous, raptor-like claws – indisputable proof that birds evolved from dinosaurs.

Shinji finally makes his way into the bathtub, only to whine about how much he hates baths. Misato takes a bath too.

Meanwhile, Shinji recalls how he defeated the Angel. First, he got slapped around. Then the robot mysteriously went berserk, ripped out the Angel’s ribs, and used the ribs to stab the Angel. The Angel desperately resorted to a self-destruct attack, which failed to accomplish anything except revealing the Evangelion’s “true form.”

Don’t forget all the cross-shaped blasts!

What deep symbolism!

Final Thoughts:

Pen Pen is awesome

Bureaucrats are cheap

Misato is slutty

And crosses are deep

Tags:

24 people love sucking up to me

  1. digitalboy says:

    lulz. Oddly enough none of your jokes are anything that i haven’t heard. I think with Eva, litreally EVERYTHING has been said about it.

  2. keke says:

    Did I hear a hint of sarcasm about the jokes of BR? Do you wish to be the next victim of my Mace?

    Good. Now get back in line people, show’s over.

  3. blissmo says:

    OH LOL! Yeah, I don’t think I need to actually watch this series since I be reading from this blog instead ;D And those dudes are extremely hideous … how do you put up with it? LOL

  4. lolikitsune says:

    The crosses aren’t that interesting; Sachiel’s stabbing attacks are way deeper.

  5. Baka-Raptor says:

    @digitalboy: Even the pictures’ mouse-overs? I guess it comes with the territory. Blogging a more obscure show would alienate many of my readers, and I care about you guys way too much to do that.

    @keke: Feel free to victimize digitalboy as inefficiently as you see fit.

    @blissmo: That’s why it’s easy to hate them. Too many modern shows have beautiful bad guys. We need to bring back those bad guys from the Mazinkaiser OP.

    Question for the episodic bloggers: When you’re blogging a show, do people who haven’t watched the show still read your posts?

    Question for everybody: Do you read episodic posts of shows you haven’t seen?

  6. keke says:

    BR, reading a blog post about an episode is like climax without foreplay. So I would prefer watching the episode and after that reading the blog post = foreplay + double climax!*

    *We don’t take any responsibility for heart attacks from too many climaxes, do it at your own risk.

  7. ROFL says:

    dude this is so much better than rewatching for me

  8. coburn says:

    I just watched Rebuild. Misato’s hanging bras are definitely frillier in Rebuild, providing a new generation of fans with something to talk about. Wouldn’t ever read episodic posts unless I’d seen the episode, would be like insemination without climax.

  9. Kabitzin says:

    I somestimes read summaries of shows I have not seen. Usually it is if I am intrigued by a show, but am not sure if I want to watch it. I read the summaries, and if it sounds good I give the episode a chance.

  10. Shin says:

    Needs a Pen Pen spinoff.

  11. digitalboy says:

    Your is the only episodic blogging I read period. I don’t even read my best friend’s episodic blog posts. Shit, I don’t even read the episodic posts of the blog circle I just joined. I see episodic blogging as totally worthless, because 99% of the time it’s totally uninteresting. Even you are sucking with these ones – the scroll overs made up for it a little, but if you aren’t original by episode 4 I’m dropping your series.

  12. wtfbbq says:

    Cue Praz for a fairly apt “gggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” at pictures 11 and 13

    PS. @ROFL: indeed, this is just as enjoyable, if not dare I say MORE enjoyable, than rewatching the series.

  13. Yamcha says:

    Bureaucrats are intrinsically evil. Saying “evil bureaucrats” is plain redundant. I still debate with people over Eva’s psuedo psychology and intentional vagueness to make it seem deep.

    I read episode posts after watching the episode to see what different bloggers thought of it.

  14. korosora says:

    The only reason why I do not regret watching this series is for the “End of Evangelion” movie.
    Well, that and all the Rei hentai I’ve come to appreciate.

  15. IcyStorm says:

    NGE has been beaten to death.

    I still love it though, despite what everyone says about it.

    I don’t read episodic posts unless I’ve watched it already…

  16. LJ says:

    Baka-Raptor, post 5:
    Shit yes I do. I can’t talk for other people, but ‘type two’ spoilers, as you called them, are nothing short of delicious to me. Plus, I generally want to know if the art style/plot direction/sense of humor is going to make me vomit on my new keyboard before I kick down a hundred eighty megs for its storage.
    Also, on the subject of Mazinkaizer: His name is Doctor Hell. Great name, or greatest name?

  17. Os says:

    Who cares about Eva? I only read this for Nostalgia-Raptor…. though those crosses are pretty deep.

  18. keke says:

    @Digitalboy “Even you are sucking with these ones ” You really are craving for that Mace it seems? Infidel, my Mace will not show mercy!

  19. LJ says:

    Os: People who happen to have watched a good deal of mecha anime and know that Eva is a complete deconstruction of all the clichés they have come to know and love; having been played straight here to the point of ruin. Or those who see the boxart and immediately unleash their posessed decree with enough force to shake the firmaments themselves: “MUST SECHZ TEH REIIiI!”, either one works fine.
    Which is obviously not you, something that I find it easy to believe that you are to be glad of. At the same time, it is still a very large number that do care. A very large number that mailed the creator death threats for not ‘making the ending right’. Have fun with that one.

  20. Viktor Berg says:

    😀 I enjoyed this episode review. Great job!

    BTW, I am so used to fanservice these days that I stopped noticing it.

    On a completely unrelated note: could someone link me to the bitch-slut-pussy chart? I’ve tried googling it, but my google skills failed me this time.

    Many thanks.

  21. digitalboy says:

    @keke: your troll defense is weak. I could have killed you 5 times already by now.

  22. Praz says:

    Once again, wtfbbq has called it: gggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

    By the way, rhyming ‘cheap’ with ‘cheap’: Pure genius! Very deep indeed.

  23. LJ says:

    Ever since lolikitsune came rolling along with his inciting riots in his own blog, everybody’s fancied themselves a regular troll. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, DIGITALBOY, UNLESS YOU’RE CAUSING FURRIES TO KILL THEMSELVES IN ANGUISH, YOU AREN’T EVEN A LEVEL 02ND FLAME WARRIOR IN THE LEGEION’S EYES, MUCH LESS A DISTINGUISHED TROLL! GOT THAT!?

    And that, gentlemen, is what is known as ‘trolling oneself’. Thank you for your time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Holy shit, a comment RSS feed!

baka-raptor@baka-raptor.com

Back to how much I rule...


Fatal error: Call to undefined function the_views() in /home/content/p3pnexwpnas16_data03/81/3672981/html/wp-content/themes/coyote-moon/single.php on line 57