One Outs = Baseball – Boredom

There was a time when baseball wasn’t boring. It was when I was eight years old and didn’t know any better. I was so ignorant about the true nature of baseball that I was a Yankees fan. Words cannot convey how ashamed I am. The only thing I can say in my defense is that at least the Yankees won back then. These days they buy out every single overrated former all-star in the league and can’t even make the playoffs. What a disgrace.

One Outs fixes everything that sucks about baseball:

1. Gambling

Gambling kicks ass (in case you haven’t gotten the message from Kaiji, Akagi, and Legendary Gambler Tetsuya). Everybody loves gambling. Why else would the Glantz-Culver line be published in every major newspaper in the country? But when professional athletes bet on their own games, it’s scandalous for some reason. One Outs saves us from this hypocrisy. It’s all gambling, all the time.

2. Performance-based Contracts

Many athletes play their hardest when their contracts are about to expire. Then as soon as they get a fat new contract, they start to suck again. This contract year phenomenon exists because athletes get too much in guaranteed money. If you’re going to get paid no matter how much you suck, where’s the incentive to play harder? Tokuchi’s contract in One Outs is 100% performance-based. If he sucks, he loses money. There’s no room for complacency.

3. No Filler

“At the turn of the 20th century, games typically took an hour and a half to play. In the 1920s, they averaged just less than two hours, which eventually ballooned to 2 hours and 38 minutes in 1960…by the turn of the 21st century, games had become so long that Major League Baseball’s goal in 2004 was to get the average game down to 2 hour and 45 minutes.” – Wikipedia

One Outs gives you a whole game in 23 minutes.

4. No Steroids

This guy clearly hasn’t been taking steroids

The screenshot comes from the opening sequence, which is basically one and a half minutes of Hiruma’s long lost twin being topless and malnourished. I typically skip it and loop the preview music instead.

[vid]ONMHsVmemQo[/vid]

Baritone Saxophone + Chopping Wood in the Mountains. If there’s a manlier preview, I’d like to see it.

Tags: ,

23 people love sucking up to me

  1. zanarky says:

    You forgot about Big Mama.

  2. Baka-Raptor says:

    @zanarky: Comment #2000!

  3. You called it right re: guaranteed contracts. While fully performance based contracts are difficult to implement on sports like basketball, baseball seems like an excellent fit. You have simple roles, and all the relevant statistics are tracked.

    Toua’s contract clauses guarantee us drama at nearly every single pitch.

    I don’t like watching baseball at all, though playing softball was so much fun. One outs fixes the experience in the ways you outlined.

    This show rocks.

  4. kanzeon says:

    Oh darn, I should have commented here on 7:20 p.m….
    I’m not really a fan of sports but I think I might give this show a try.

  5. jiff says:

    God – you and Impz both. Everyone is talking about how awesome this show is, but I just don’t see it. Perhaps I lack the drive to want to find something good about sports and sports anime – perhaps that’s what it takes to like this show :

  6. Omisyth says:

    Hey, maybe I should check this show out. Wait, you said Kaiba and Kurenai sucked. No.

  7. Baka-Raptor says:

    @ghostlightning: I see baseball as the ideal “fantasy” game because (1) it has more meaningful stats than any other major pro sport, and (2) it’s boring in real life. Sure, it’s fun to play, though I haven’t played since hurting my elbow in a game a few years back. I ought to rehabilitate by heading up to the mountains and start chopping some wood.

    @kanzeon: There was a 20-hour window between comments 1999 and 2000. You had your chance.

    @jiff: One Outs is much more of a gambling anime (Akagi, Kaiji, Tetsuya, etc…) than a sports anime (Slam Dunk, Eyeshield 21, Prince of Tennis, etc…). Strategy & Tactics – that’s what it takes to like the show. Besides, Impz and I can’t both be wrong…

    @Omisyth: It’s not like I wanted them to suck. They just did. Don’t blame me for it.

  8. Merk says:

    One Outs is one of 3 shows I’m following this season (OO, Nodame 2, Toradora) and arguably the best of them (Noda 2 vies for that spot, but we’ll have to see — One Outs is heating up).

    If you haven’t already, check out the manga/live-action series “Liar Game” by Shinobu Kaitani, the same guy who made One Outs. It’ll remind you a lot of Kaiji, and that makes sense since he admits that it inspired nearly everything in that manga.

    Also, animenewsnetwork disagrees with me but I fucking bet my ear that the manager of Toua’s contract’s seiyuu is the same guy who did Genji Kamogawa from Hajime no Ippo. I nearly wet myself because I remembered how excited I am for Ippo 2.

  9. Laguna Loire says:

    Baka-raptor , is there any kick-ass anime like one-out but for soccer games ? aka “english footbal” ?

  10. Typically sports anime are boring. As for One Outs, I would say no.

  11. Baka-Raptor says:

    @Merk: Just read the first 35 chapters of Liar Game. The first round was more or less predictable, as was the initial strategy for the second round, but after that it explodes into Kaiji-esque madness. At least waiting for new chapters of Liar Game will keep my mind off waiting for Ippo 2.

    @Laguna: None that I know of, though I’d be shocked if there aren’t any. A quick search turned up a several manga titles: Soccer King, Shoot!, Mini-skit Soccer Club, etc…. I don’t know if any are available in English.

    @rollchan: For me, the most impressive part of that video was the calf raises. He raised himself, a stack of weights, a bar of weights, and a guy sitting on top of it all. Holy shit.

    @Kairu: Typically sports anime are formulaic. As for One Outs, I would say no.

  12. Exile says:

    Man I’d love a full length song of that jazz beat. Very catchy.

  13. rollchan says:

    @Baka-Raptor:

    LOL! Wanna try that? 😀

    n_n

  14. Michael says:

    I’ll download it … but Toradora is better! :3

    lolol

  15. i love baka-raptor! says:

    haha. you’re funny

  16. I cannot believe you used to be a Yankees fan – I don’t know if I can look at your blog ever again after learning that fact.

  17. Shiro Long Tail says:

    @Laguna

    Whenever I think soccer anime I’m reminded of Captain Tsubasa. It’s really old though, like a decade or two so I can’t really comment on how good it is compared to today’s standards.

  18. BranGor says:

    “I cannot believe you used to be a Yankees fan – I don’t know if I can look at your blog ever again after learning that fact.”

    And nothing of value was lost

  19. Baka-Raptor says:

    @Exile: After listening to it about 200 times, I finally got it out of my head.

    @Michael: Get thee to a loyalty.

    @i love baka-raptor!: This is the first time I’ve seen a username that was a better comment than the actual comment.

    @Day: It was a long time ago. I’m a changed man. Now I hate all MLB teams.

    @BranGor: More bandwidth for me.

  20. i love baka-raptor! says:

    everytime i want to laugh, i just go to your site!
    get thee to a punnery!

  21. […] think Baka-Raptor’s post on One Outs has gotten more people to give that show a shot more than this post will be able to, but the one […]

  22. […] Note to self: Sports anime are really for marathoning. I should also try to watch One Outs because I heard it’s one game in one episode. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Holy shit, a comment RSS feed!

baka-raptor@baka-raptor.com

Back to how much I rule...