10 Things that Suck about Ga-Rei Zero

1. Real Pocky

Product placement isn’t funny, unlike Trademark infringement.

Two girls in swimsuits are trapped in a closet and all I can think about is trademark infringement. Why? Because I’m not a pedophile. Speaking of lesbians and pocky…

2. Not Enough Lesbian Pocky Scenes

Speaking of lesbians…

3. No Lesbian Scene between the Director and her Assistant

Talk about wasted potential. The Director is basically Shizuru (pre-murderous lesbian rampage), and if the Assistant is heterosexual, I’m the King of Spain.

But Baka-Raptor, isn’t the Director handicapped?

Got a problem with that? I don’t discriminate. Paraplegics have every right to star in lesbian scenes, as long as they’re hot and at least 18 years old.

4. Natsuki x Touru Died

Once in a blue moon I support a heterosexual couple. It’s a shame they had to die in the first episode.

5. Kagura cries too much

6. Nabuu reminds me of Star Wars Episode I

Remember Planet Naboo? Then you probably remember how much The Phantom Menace sucked.

7. The Dinosaurs were only Category B

Everyone demonizes the dinosaurs just because they’re different. Sure, they burn things and taint the world with death. But nobody tries to understand them. How would you feel if you somebody said you were Category B? That chick with the sword is Category A. You’re Category B. Hurts, doesn’t it?

8. The series only has 12 episodes

I demand a spinoff series:

  • Ga-Rei (based off the manga)
  • Ga-Rei Negative One (featuring the Director in the springtime of her lesbian Pocky-eating youth)

9. No OP/ED in the First Episode

Some say it’s powerful. Others say it’s artistic. I say it’s a waste of two perfectly good songs.

10. …

I can’t think of anything else that sucks about Ga-Rei Zero. Even Yomi’s blood type kicks ass:

AB+ is the blood type of winners, such as Yomi and me. Our blood would consume and destroy 96% of the population, but their blood is harmless to us.

In conclusion, Ga-Rei Zero was the best show of Fall 2008.