10 Things that Suck about Ga-Rei Zero

1. Real Pocky

Product placement isn’t funny, unlike Trademark infringement.

Two girls in swimsuits are trapped in a closet and all I can think about is trademark infringement. Why? Because I’m not a pedophile. Speaking of lesbians and pocky…

2. Not Enough Lesbian Pocky Scenes

Speaking of lesbians…

3. No Lesbian Scene between the Director and her Assistant

Talk about wasted potential. The Director is basically Shizuru (pre-murderous lesbian rampage), and if the Assistant is heterosexual, I’m the King of Spain.

But Baka-Raptor, isn’t the Director handicapped?

Got a problem with that? I don’t discriminate. Paraplegics have every right to star in lesbian scenes, as long as they’re hot and at least 18 years old.

4. Natsuki x Touru Died

Once in a blue moon I support a heterosexual couple. It’s a shame they had to die in the first episode.

5. Kagura cries too much

6. Nabuu reminds me of Star Wars Episode I

Remember Planet Naboo? Then you probably remember how much The Phantom Menace sucked.

7. The Dinosaurs were only Category B

Everyone demonizes the dinosaurs just because they’re different. Sure, they burn things and taint the world with death. But nobody tries to understand them. How would you feel if you somebody said you were Category B? That chick with the sword is Category A. You’re Category B. Hurts, doesn’t it?

8. The series only has 12 episodes

I demand a spinoff series:

  • Ga-Rei (based off the manga)
  • Ga-Rei Negative One (featuring the Director in the springtime of her lesbian Pocky-eating youth)

9. No OP/ED in the First Episode

Some say it’s powerful. Others say it’s artistic. I say it’s a waste of two perfectly good songs.

10. …

I can’t think of anything else that sucks about Ga-Rei Zero. Even Yomi’s blood type kicks ass:

AB+ is the blood type of winners, such as Yomi and me. Our blood would consume and destroy 96% of the population, but their blood is harmless to us.

In conclusion, Ga-Rei Zero was the best show of Fall 2008.

29 people love sucking up to me

  1. 1. No comment.
    2. Agreed with in spades. Hell, take a way the Pocky and it’s still awesome.
    3. Confirms my suggestion in number two. And while I wasn’t expecting a scene like the pocky scene, I was at least expecting more subtext between the two. Because it was still there. 🙁
    4. It does feel like a wasted effort (though I do like that Ga-Rei Zero did it in that way, with a backstory and awesome motorcycle-fu to match), and I wouldn’t mind seeing a Ga-Rei prequel featuring that team (along with the Director and her fun times).
    5. Disagree. Periodic catharsis is good (too much catharsis not as much), or at least letting out your troubles frequently is better than holding it all in, being good for one or two massacres and that’s it. Spread that power out.
    6. Disagree. It helps that Star Wars isn’t that prominent in my memory, and it greatly helps that the twins were voiced by Norio Wakamoto who has one of the more awesome voices in anime, bias be damned.
    7. They roll. I think that knocked them down a couple of pegs. They’re dinosaurs. They don’t need to move that way.
    8. Agreed. Though I’d rather not the manga, since it isn’t quite as good.
    9. Push. I’d say the lack puts the focus more onto actually having to find out what the series is about (though this was a fun example about how initial thoughts could be all wrong), rather than being given a teaser as to what’s it all about. But the songs are indeed very kickass.
    10. Agreed. One of my favorites for 2008 as a whole.

  2. 1.Disagree, as I think it brings it closer to real life
    2.Oh yes
    3.Eh, wouldn’t really care either way but I doubt it would bring a fap scene.
    4.Yea I would have liked to see more of them(how many people have we seen that can pwn people without getting off a motorcycle?)
    5.Very much agree as it almost was one cry per episode
    7.The lame CG probably hurt it, if it was hand drawn probably would be category A and Yomi be Category S.
    8.I do have to wonder if the manga is bad(I’ve heard it’s nowhere near as good as the anime) but maybe if the studio did some changes to manga it would be alot better.
    9.Eh I didn’t feel that strongly about the OP/ED either way
    10.However B is the blood type of lazy people so it equals out. Decent show but a bit too much emo hurts it in the end.

  3. Nabuu constantly reminded me that the guy with the most awesome voice in the industry, Norio Wakamoto, was voicing two characters in one show and this in turn reminded me that he was not voicing ALL the characters. How did the director overlook such an elementary mistake?

    Wakamoto worship aside, Ga-Rei Negative One needs to happen.

  4. 1. I like Pocky.
    2. MORE I SAY!! MORE!!!!! Definitely agreed.
    3. Somehow i doubt that would fit into the storyline. Awesome potential though.
    4. The death of a girl who knows how to ride a bike is always a great loss.
    5. Crying always increases the drama factor. Disagree.
    6. There is no Star Wars prequel trilogy. Disagree.
    7. They breathe fire. What more could you want?
    8. A adaptation of the manga would be best. With some changes to make the tone darker and more serious.
    9. No comment.
    10. Plausible.

  5. @Jarmel “1.Disagree, as I think it brings it closer to real life”

    a.k.a breaking the fourth wall..

    P.S good post B-R as always!

  6. Other things that suck that were not in this post:

    1. No Mamiko Noto
    2. No Yuki Kajiura
    3. No ‘hilarious’ ambiguously gay guy. Seriously, that has to be the least funny ambiguously gay guy in the history of anime. He never comically victimized anybody, once. What a waste.
    4. Plot inconsistency. The supposed heads of their respective families were killed off by some teenage girl who was less powerful and didnt have nearly as much experience. Give me a break.
    5. Going along those lines, the 3 most badass fighters in the show were a pedophile’s wet dream.
    6. No closure. They didnt show a final battle where the Death stone guy (who was totally ripped off from Mai Hime) was destroyed or at least maimed. Of course, this negates point #8, since ‘this is not the end’ (see Tsubasa Chronicles).
    7. While Yomi’s blood cells would destroy 96% of the population, 96% of the population’s plasma would destroy Yomi, and you.

    In spite of all this, I maintain that Ga-Rei zero was a kickass show.

  7. Wow, so you’re the king of Spain? Pretty sweet – I especially liked it when you told Hugo Chavez to shut up. Also – riding your motorcycle around the Spanish countryside while in disguise? Totally baller.

  8. @TheBigN: Dinosaurs can roll if they want to. It’s the most efficient form of movement of lateral or downhill movement.

    @Jarmel: I’ve heard similar criticism of the manga, not that it’ll stop me from checking it out and possibly reviewing it (no guarantees though).

    @Kabitzin: That is a Category S comment.

    @Loki: In addition to the Director, Natsuki x Touru would be an acceptable focus for Ga-Rei Negative One.

    @LBrevis: Just read up on Norio Wakamoto. I take it all back, Nabuu kicks ass.

    @schneider: If they’re under 18, they’re loli. End of story.

    @biankita: No.

    @Setsuna-san: Crying once increases the drama factor. Twice or thrice may be tolerable. Anything more than that increases the pedophilia factor.

    @Merk: Yes, I do blame Kaiji for crying too much.

    @keke: For me, the dinosaurs broke the fourth wall. And the fifth. And the sixth…

    @Praz: I was tempted to do a checklist because of all the checks in the credits, but this post was already long enough at 325 words. All valid points though, except 5. Kagura’s father was the strongest. He only lost because Kagura was being a pussy.

    @Day: Oops, I guess my secret’s out. Baka-Raptor is but one of my many disguises.

  9. The one legitmate excuse you had wasn’t even commented on. I pity the fool. Which in this case is you.

    Every point you made was commented on several times! I’m so jealous that I don’t get any many comments as you! Maybe it’s because I’m a pedophile.

  10. 1. The studios have make their money back somehow…
    2. Or maybe it was just the right amount of scenes. Ever considered that?
    3. Yeah, the Assistant is about as heterosexual as Clay Aiken.
    4. You, liking a hetero couple? What next, digitalboy liking grown women?
    5. Yet she is still more awesome than Saji from 00.
    6. Thank you so much for reminding me that Episode 1 still exists. Goddamn Lucas.
    7. Dinosaurs are overrated. Yeah, I said it.
    8. Another Ga Rei series would be nice…
    9. Disagree. The music would’ve been too outta place.

  11. After marathoning the series I have to agree, it’s easily the best show of Fall 08. The first episode is a great hook and leaves you craving some slice of life to explain the character backgrounds. Production values, storytelling, motorcycle-fu and dinosaurs+fire were great all around. Although the ending was a little too bittersweet for me.

    Nabuu’s speech at the end made me roll my eyes. Apparently to be a successful Exorcist you need to kill the one you love; after they try to kill you by protecting you. I guess I’m just irked that Yomi took the stone to protect Kagura and continue a life where they could just be sisters. Instead we get the bloodbath of episode 1, le sigh.

    If this was a standalone series and they didn’t have to worry about the continuity of the manga, it would have been pretty awesome for Kagura to pop up behind Butterfly kid at the end and some more sudden violence ensuing.

  12. 5. Kagura
    a.) She cries too much.
    b.) Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard, especially when she cries.
    c.) It made no sense that she had to deal with so much shit (oh wait, this was an anime).

  13. WoW, lol, i know this series make you pissed. But not because of the few lesbians in it -.-, like you included…
    but because of the cruelty in this series and its kinda sad… But i liked it in general.
    And what was the point of the first episode anyway… They were all dead… I dont get it. And the picture cover of the all anime, is about those in the first episode. Its really weird they had to die in the first episode.
    Hope that there will be a second season, were Yumi is still alive somehow… 🙁 its so sad that she was killed.
    Theres alot of things still missing in the series… And they jump so fast from event to event… skiping important events

  14. For those who didn’t know about the manga this series came from:

    1:Pocky is prominently featured with the character of Kagura. Note the last scene of the anime.

    2:The reason Natsuki and Touru die is because they don’t exist in the manga so you can’t just time paradox them into existence.

    3: The girls were Category A for being conscious taijiya being willed by the sesshouseki. explained in the manga.

    4: That’s also why there was no finish for Mitogawa, the butterfly bloke, as he’s in the manga and he’s a category A.

    5: There could easily be a second season as Baka pointed out, but it’ll be a while before they get to reviving Yomi as that is in the Naraku Arc of the manga, which is the third arc. However, Yomi’s spectre is prominently featured as the main antagonist for the first arc of the manga.

    6: Kagura crying too much was to explain her constant smiling and good mood in the manga. Of course, I wanted to stab her a few times for her incessant crying, too, but Chihara Minori is <3 so I can't hate her too much.

    7: If you want a real "thing that sucks", consider that Yomi was in an easy position to do anything she wanted to both Kiri and Ayame, but they end up mostly unscathed and well in the end. If you wanted more lesbian pocky scenes, that was a huge wasted opportunity. =

    8: Nabuu always kicked ass. ^~

  15. I hear a lot about the pointless of episode 1, but i found one reasonable theory wherein:

    After grab the sword, Yomi wants to test whether she is a Person or a Category A, or Both, because that is the critical point of her choice to accept that evil stone. So she tests that 3 times.

    1. to Touru and his friends : she acts as an evil Category A. success. she’s Category A.
    2. to Noriyuki : she acts as a person and his colleague. success. As she’s a person and his colleague, Noriyuki could not kill her.
    3. to Kagura : she acts as a Category A and person. success. she’s a Category A and person. Kagura cannot kill an evil spirit that was a person, which Yomi knows too well even before.

    Why she needs these 3 tests? before accepting the stone, she feels guilty about killing Mei nee-sang, because Yomi recognised Mei as a person, not an evil spirit to be excocised. So she difines herself as the Killer who killed a person, not because accused by her colleages, but due to her guilty. And this realization leads to Kagura. She wants to live with Kagura forever! But she is the Killer, so her small brain (or mine) reasons that Kagura must run away from her! Yomi loves Kagura so much, this thought numbs her mind, so she accepts the stone in despair.

    Now, she concludes that her little reasoning is right with these three test results. She is The Killer. Kagura must left her forever. Then she wants to kill Kagua, she wants to kill herself, and she wants to kill everyone… but still she wants to protect Kagura from every harms.

    I say this theory is very good ^.^

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