The VW Darth Vader Commercial Sucks

I remember seeing this ad back in 2011 and thinking, “Wow, that’s a shitty commercial, good thing I’ll never see it again.” The commercial has since been branded a classic to the elation of not only geeks and pedophiles but a confederacy of dunces hastening the moral and financial decay of our morbidly consumerist society.

The commercial doesn’t advertise the product.

Some dumbass kid runs around in a costume and thinks he started a car.

VOLKSWAGEN!

No mention of the power, fuel efficiency, safety, reliability, or any other feature relevant to the Volkswagen brand, let alone any car purchase. Are enough people influenced by this bullshit to justify the millions of dollars spent on a Super Bowl spot, not to mention Star Wars royalties?

Remote starters are for pussies.

Wow! A remote starter! An unnecessary, wasteful, and environmentally harmful feature that wasn’t invented or popularized by Volkswagen! A feature that’s completely worthless unless you whine like a little bitch if you spend three minutes in the cold!

Any car with fuel injection, which is damn near every passenger car on the road today, does not need to be warmed up before driving. Is the message here that Volkswagen cars need remote starters because they use antiquated, inefficient engine technology?

Darth Vader wears gloves.

gloveofvader

No, this isn’t nitpicking. There’s clearly a sinister motive at play here. Think about it. Why doesn’t the kid have some cheap black gloves when his parents were willing to splurge on the rest of his costume? There’s only one possible answer: Volkswagen is RACIST. Can’t have a little black Darth Vader running around, can we? Let’s show off his little white hands to reassure upper-middle class suburbia this is an innocent kid, not the galactic embodiment of darkness. Fuck Volkswagen.

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This ad is still 27 times better than the GoDaddy make-out commercial

  1. moridin84 says:

    “The commercial doesn’t advertise the product.”
    Commercials aren’t about advertising the product, they are about trying to convince people to buy it.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      Advertisers would need the former to accomplish the latter if people didn’t get distracted by every shiny attention grab thrown their way. It’s telling that we have a separate word for “infomercial”. Shouldn’t all commercials contain information?

    • Broxis says:

      In the case of car commercials, they are actually aimed at creating brand loyalty and getting rid of buyers remorse. Car ads do not exist to get someone to buy a car at that exact moment- they target people who have *already bought* a car, in the hopes they will buy again from the same brand.

      By making a “cute” ad like this, they may put the image in some peoples heads that volkswagen is great brand. This is the same idea as the old spice commercials, etc.

  2. animekritik says:

    It’s a moronic commercial, and your hands observation has something to it, I think.

    I don’t get 99% of U.S. commercials, quite frankly.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      The commercials I’ve seen in India aren’t that much better. Yes, you have a better idea what they’re selling, but they also rely heavily on celebrity endorsements and crappy jingles. Also, much lower production values.

  3. cybustier says:

    Relevant to this post.

  4. HitoShura94 says:

    the only commercials I actually like are the old spice ones.

  5. Reed says:

    Fucking white people.

  6. Valence says:

    They want to convince people into buying a car which most likely will induce other drivers to treat you like the child you are, so I think the commercial is a success in reaching out to its target audience.

  7. Nuu says:

    LOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OMFG RACIST STAR WARS IS SOOOOO FUNNYYYYYY I’m laughing soooo hard.

    And as soon as the guy said “isn’t that true?” i was like…..O_O Oh shitttttt lol. But idk Raptor, i think the commercial’s genius, the guys running around like a living bobble-head and no he doesn’t have gloves which kind of sucked, but it was something interesting….however when i reallly think about it, you are right: it doesn’t truthfully advertise the car.

    And on the autostart, completely disagree with you man. back when i was a sophomore (in canada they say 2nd year lol weird), my girlfriend would have to leave early in the morning to work and it’d be FUCKING COLD outside. Naturally in the morning…you’d have…you know, like..urges lol, and the LAST thing you wanna do is get up and walk outside and start the car. and of course being the epic person i am, sometimes I’d do it. With the car start, when she got that, omfg, it was too good.

    Sorry if that was too much information

  8. Nuu says:

    yo and that guy’s line is KRISPY BRO, FUCKING KRISPY!!!!

    that means nice

  9. The Yoshinator says:

    While I’ll agree that that wasn’t a great commercial, Star Wars fanboys will go nuts over everything. Including an ad for a super shitty car.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      True Star Wars fanboys should’ve been enraged that the kid wasn’t wearing a Mandalorian Crushgaunt. I’m not THAT big a Star Wars fanboy, but I probably would’ve been less pissed off if they went without the helmet. The focus in the commercial was force usage after all, not the voice.

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