The VW Darth Vader Commercial Sucks

I remember seeing this ad back in 2011 and thinking, “Wow, that’s a shitty commercial, good thing I’ll never see it again.” The commercial has since been branded a classic to the elation of not only geeks and pedophiles but a confederacy of dunces hastening the moral and financial decay of our morbidly consumerist society.

The commercial doesn’t advertise the product.

Some dumbass kid runs around in a costume and thinks he started a car.


No mention of the power, fuel efficiency, safety, reliability, or any other feature relevant to the Volkswagen brand, let alone any car purchase. Are enough people influenced by this bullshit to justify the millions of dollars spent on a Super Bowl spot, not to mention Star Wars royalties?

Remote starters are for pussies.

Wow! A remote starter! An unnecessary, wasteful, and environmentally harmful feature that wasn’t invented or popularized by Volkswagen! A feature that’s completely worthless unless you whine like a little bitch if you spend three minutes in the cold!

Any car with fuel injection, which is damn near every passenger car on the road today, does not need to be warmed up before driving. Is the message here that Volkswagen cars need remote starters because they use antiquated, inefficient engine technology?

Darth Vader wears gloves.


No, this isn’t nitpicking. There’s clearly a sinister motive at play here. Think about it. Why doesn’t the kid have some cheap black gloves when his parents were willing to splurge on the rest of his costume? There’s only one possible answer: Volkswagen is RACIST. Can’t have a little black Darth Vader running around, can we? Let’s show off his little white hands to reassure upper-middle class suburbia this is an innocent kid, not the galactic embodiment of darkness. Fuck Volkswagen.

27 Replies to “The VW Darth Vader Commercial Sucks”