Don't watch the Superbowl with girls

I made the mistake of going to a Superbowl party last year, not because I enjoy the company of others, but because my TV is haunted and randomly changes channels.


Remember Rule #2?

Let me cut to the chase: it was the worst decision of my life. There were girls at the party, girls who thought they were entitled to spout whatever dumb shit was on their mind at any given moment.

It might not have been so bad if only the girls sucked, but the guys at the party were dumbasses too. I should've known when I saw a sign on the door saying "Seahawks Fans Only". Don't get me wrong it's ok to be a Seahawks fan if:

But when I asked these idiots why they were Seahawks fans, they confessed that they didn't really like the Seahawks. They just didn't want to Steelers to win. That's like calling yourself a Kerry supporter because Bush is a dumbass. John Kerry is a political tool, and his 2004 presidential campaign was a disaster. During his tour, I attended one of his rallies at the University of Pittsburgh. I could write about it, but this account from a disappointed Democrat gets the point across:

"The worst part of the rally came right before Kerry was brought forward. They brought up Franco Harris, a man who is older than the college crowd could really remember. Then, as if to make up for that the lead singer of Blink 182 came up and talked about why we need to vote Bush out. Here is a paraphrase of what he said:

"I travel all over the world with my band. I go to every country in the world. I'm tired of having to defend America. Vote Bush out so I don't have to keep defending America."

Or something along those lines, my paraphrase doesn't make him sound nearly as dumb as he really sounded. In any case, the guy sounded like the idiot I predicted him to be. I was mortified when I saw that the Democrats plan to parade him around as their secret weapon. I'm sorry, he's not making me proud to be a liberal. The final stupid thing came from one of Kerry's step children continually referring to the Cathedral of Learning as the "Tower of Knowledge". I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, but it sounded like that is what he thought the name was. For someone who grew up in Pittsburgh, he certainly must have not lived like the rest of us." - Patrick Wagstrom

Even though the rally was held right in front of the Cathedral of Learning, Kerry's idiot son still managed to butcher it into the "Tower of Knowledge". How the hell do you get "Tower of Knowledge" from "Cathedral of Learning" anyway? No wonder Kerry lost.


The Tower of Knowledge Catherdral of Learning

You know who we need to run for president? Congressman Ron Paul. With his M.D. and legendary propensity to vote "no" (because most congressional bills are total bullshit), Ron Paul earned the badass nickname "Dr. No". Although he currently holds office as a Republican, Ron Paul has voted against Bush 64% of the time, more than any other Republican (and many Democrats) in Congress. He respects the Constitution, hates government spending, and was against the Iraq war since day 1. Ron Paul is even a card-carrying Libertarian, so you know he's legit. If he doesn't make it to the presidential ballot in 2008, I'm writing him in.


Ron Paul voted against 3128 bills