Evangelion 03: A Super Original Post!

Shinji begins training with the Eva. Throughout the training session he sounds like a zombie.


Why does the robot need a gun? Is that a mechanical trigger? Couldn’t they give one of those to the UN? I’m guessing it’ll never subdue an Angel. Why does—

Stop! In the name of the CLAW!


Unoriginal comments are prohibited!

Says who?


Your commentary lacks originality and depth.

Lacking depth? Did you see my brilliant use of soiled diapers to represent unoriginal commentary?

Sorry, that made sense. Depth that makes sense isn’t deep. digitalboy won’t be happy until you start bullshitting your readers.

I don’t know how!

I do! I have a degree in bullshit philosophy!

ScholaRaptor, I’ll leave it to you.

Yes, your majesty!

The next day, Misato expresses concern that Shinji never uses his cell phone.

Big deal, neither do I. I’ve had my current cell phone for about 1.5 years, and it only has 12 numbers:

  • 5 family members
  • 2 ex-roommates (don’t think I’ve ever called them)
  • 2 classmates (teammates on class projects, nobody I’d talk to for fun)
  • 1 workplace
  • 1 landlord
  • 1 Italian Village Pizza (The only number I willingly dial)

Even I have more numbers on my cellular telephone!

Shinji’s popularity skyrockets when he tells his classmates that he’s an Eva pilot.

Now we hear about the disaster in 2000 that plunged the world into chaos. A meteor struck Antarctica, melting the entire ice cap and cutting the world’s population in half.


Meteors: a dinosaur’s worst enemy.

Tar pits too.

As the teacher lectures, we see incorrect equations on the board.


It’s at 3:20

After class, one of Shinji’s classmates beats him up for accidentally injuring his sister during the previous Angel battle.

Fila sportswear? Brilliant product placement!

Fila never looked so cool!

Hey, it’s Rei! Did she come to help Shinji? No, she tells Shinji to get his ass ready for battle.

The students evacuate to their shelters, except for the guys who bullied Shinji. They snuck away to see Shinji in action. Bad idea. The Eva gets ripped from its power cable and sent flying in their direction. Shinji protects his classmates by letting them on board.

For some reason they can speak intelligibly, even though the cockpit is supposed to be filled with liquid.

With battery power running low and the gun being useless (as predicted), Shinji whips out the Eva’s ultimate weapon: a knife. Misato tells Shinji to retreat, but for once in his life, Shinji decides not to be a pussy. He goes into psycho-zombie mode, takes the Angel head-on, and stabs it to death!

The Fila guy regrets beating Shinji, who hasn’t been to school since the incident. Fila guy almost calls Shinji’s cell phone, but he remembers that men don’t ever call each other to express their feelings.

Final Thoughts:

When blogging well known anime

Originality’s a factor

To give us some fresh insight

Here’s ScholaRaptor

Quoting 15th century English poet John Lydgate:

“You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

Taking shit no matter how noble your actions are – I call it the Yang Wenli effect.*

  • Shinji’s father vs. the bureaucrats
  • Shinji vs. Fila guy

Let’s not forget former President Abraham Lincoln’s corollary:

“You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”

I wonder how blanket media censorship works out when high school kids who know the truth are free to gossip with their classmates.

*If you still don’t get that reference, drop whatever you’re doing and go watch Legend of the Galactic Heroes.

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