An Unbiased Review of RenAi Blogger

Translation note for us commoners: “RenAi” means dating simulation game.

Ever wanted to date your favorite anime blogger? Sorry, I’m not in this game. But Hinano (creator), CJ, UsagiJen, NyaChan, and Impz are! If you play it right, you get to kiss them…

Before playing RenAi Blogger, I hadn’t played any dating sims because I assumed that simulated dating would be at least as boring as the real thing. I was wrong. A few reasons why RenAi Blogger is better than actual dating:

  • It’s free
  • There’s background music
  • You can skip all the dialogue
  • Your name is Chase
  • You can save, load, and restart

Before you start bitching about how I should go easy on RenAi Blogger because it’s an amateur game with a niche target audience, think about how insulted you’d be if I wrote an insincere review of your creation. Nobody wants that. I’m holding RenAi Blogger to the same unbiased standard as I hold every game – because I care.

Three Things That Sucked:

1. One spelling mistake

Hinano, you couldn’t even spell-check your own arc?

2. Treasonous physics

What is this, Canada?

In America, we drive on the right side of the road. Jen should be falling from left to right, not right to left.

3. Not enough violence

This is the only non-violent video game I’ve ever played. Why couldn’t RenAi Blogger be more like Duck Hunt? With four girls (and Impz) competing for your love, somebody needs to get hurt. What would happen if you were at the anime convention with Natsuko and you ran into CJ? Next time I want to see some catfighting, preferably in a secret unlockable dungeon.

Three Things That Rocked:

1. New York jokes

It’s funny because it’s true.

2. Anti-pedophilic themes

RenAi Blogger might be the only non-pedophilic dating sim ever created. Natsuko’s arc teaches us that 16-year-olds are incapable of making sexual decisions in the state of New York. They know it. So do their moms. And the guys at the artists alley. And the little Japanese kids who happen to be running around making lolicon comments with impeccable timing.

3. Shopping tips

$2/yard of fabric in Chinatown?! I’m so there.

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