The Diamond Dust Rebellion: The Perfect Filler Movie?

No, but don’t expect filler movies to get much better.

But Baka-Raptor, if you give a filler movie a positive review, won’t that encourage the production of more filler?

No. Filler gets made no matter what I say. Positive reviews will at least promote the production of higher quality filler. When filler gets panned regardless of its merits, producers have no incentive to invest any time or money into raising the quality of their filler. Consider the Power Rangers movies.

Unlike your typical dumbass Power Rangers villains, the enemy in the first movie, Ivan Ooze, was a wily sarcastic badass who tricked children into becoming his zombie slaves. The fight scenes were well choreographed, and the writing was, well, bearable. Nevertheless, the critics all blasted the movie because they were disappointed that Ivan Ooze didn’t molest any of the children. When the second movie was made, do you think the producers cared about making it good? It was going to get criticized anyway; why bother trying?

Good thing you can always count on me for honest, unbiased reviews. I give credit where credit’s due. Just keep in mind, if you’re looking for an animated theatrical masterpiece, don’t watch a Bleach movie. I wouldn’t even recommend a Naruto movie. The entertainment value of a filler movie is constrained by its inevitable return to normalcy. Nothing in the filler can conflict with the original show in any way (nobody dies [except for nameless characters and villains unique to the filler], the plot remains unchanged, etc…). What does that leave? Fanservice.

Badass fight scenes
Nearly every named character getting screen time
Zaraki going berserk
Matsumoto pining for Gin
Rukia sleeping in Ichigo’s closet
Nanao being tsundere for her lazy captain
Soifon being gay for Yoruichi
Everybody sucking up to Aizen because he rules
Ishida’s 1200 rapes per second
Chad’s mangled Spanish
The old captain verbally abusing his inferiors
No Kon
No Dondochakka
No Pesche
No Renji x Ichigo Yaoi
No emotional flashbacks to Ichigo’s childhood
No Themes of Friendship/Optimism/Compassion
Themes of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge

A major strength of this movie is that it focuses on existing characters instead of spending substantial time developing movie-only characters. Too bad they had to pick Hitsugaya as the lead just because he’s young and Japanese kids think they can relate to him. Next time we need a movie about the lazy captain and how Nanao has steamy fantasies about him.

Final Grade: + (overall) / ++ (for a filler movie) / ~ (for an anime movie)

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