Whose Room? Baka-Raptor’s Room.

Room posts: what a brilliant idea! Why didn’t I think of that? Oh wait, I did – TWO YEARS AGO.

What the hell must I do to impress you assholes? Did I not one-up the other bloggers by posting my room, my car, myself, and two videos featuring myself AND my room? One of these days I’m going to jump off a bridge. Maybe I’ll take pictures of that too; it’s not like anybody cares.

But I’ll give you another chance. I’ll take a break from experimenting with homosexuality episodic blogging to post pictures of my room, and you’re going to be damn appreciative:

On the left, you’ll see a pack of 50 CVS brand envelopes. Total shit. From now on I’m forking over an extra buck for the good stuff. In the middle you’ll notice my new 17″ widescreen laptop. It’s humongous and totally impractical. One the bright side, it does have a built-in video camera, which I use to film Talk-A-Raptor. To the right is a stack of the first three volumes of GTO: The Early Years (review forthcoming).

The opposing wall contains a closet (its doors can been seen behind me on Talk-A-Raptor). That’s where Tidus hangs out with my other action figures, Mr. Iron and Mrs. Can of Liquid Wrench Penetrating Oil.

Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for: my wall. Marmot says you can infer her sexual preference from the pictures on her wall. The same rule applies to me:

It’s like staring into the sun.

In front of the wall lies my bookcase. To the right is good old reliable desktop.

After ditching my haunted TV (see above), I put a TV tuner card into this computer and started catching up on my PS2 RPGs. I’m currently in the middle of Final Fantasy XII (review forthcoming). I watch most of my anime on this computer. It’s in a folder called Last Exile, the first anime I watched on this computer. That was about 5 years ago, and ever since I’ve been too lazy to change its name.

Next up is my bed:

Think this is just some ordinary bed? Think again. After absorbing the sloth of 1000 midday naps and the bloodlust of 1000 sexless nights, my bed gained demonic powers, such as freezing time, erecting soundproof barriers, and holding my pants while I’m not wearing them.

Mmmm…I’m hungry. What’s for lunch?

Buffalo chicken, pork, hot dogs, cajun blackened fish fillets, and spinach. I challenge you to find a manlier freezer. The rest of my fridge is disappointingly balanced, unlike my old college fridge. I’ll let you guess which is which.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any soy sauce. I may have to borrow some from Mion.

39 people love sucking up to me

  1. i think i woke the neighbors when i laughed at this “That’s where Tidus hangs out with my other action figures, Mr. Iron and Mrs. Can of Liquid Wrench Penetrating Oil.”
    i don’t think i’ve laughed that loud in a while…

  2. Your blank wall requires something that I started thinking about when I woke up from my headache – which is still continuing today, an Aria themed painting. Now how cool would that be?

    Anyway, your room is totally cooler than I expected, and my admiration towards you has gone to new heights!

    /asskiss off

    Where can I get hold of that Maid guy badge wallpaper? (about the GTO books next to it, I started watching GTO a few days ago, its totally brilliant. The comedy is win and the voice actors do their jobs really well, I especially like the vice-principal. “MY CRESTAA!”)

    Thats all for now, over and out.

  3. @Comments 1-4: Perhaps I’ll invite Mr. Iron and Mrs. Can of Liquid Wrench Penetrating Oil to co-host the next Talk-A-Raptor.

    @issa-sa: I thought I was the only blogger with a blank wall. These other guys are ridiculous.

    @keke: GTO is somewhere in my Top 5, possibly my #1. Enjoy the show.

    I got the Maid Guy pic here. Don’t tell lolikit; he hates the guy who runs this blog.

    @Lelangir: The Harris Teeter around here is the fanciest grocery store I’ve been to in my entire life.

    @LJ: I haven’t played the game, and at this rate, I never will. Feel free to Type-2 spoil me.

  4. I totally want Mr. Iron and Mrs. Can of Liquid Wrench Penetrating Oil figurines. I also want a larger room. One that has doors would help too.


  5. Is. Mrs. Can of Liquid Wrench Penetrating Oil cast-offable? I mean I don’t care that I’ve never seen the show she’s from; I just want the goods.

  6. @Valen: Agreed. I’m too lazy to cook bacon, though I suppose a true man would find a woman to do it for him.

    @Ez: Doors kick ass.

    @keke: I wholeheartedly approve. Up close, the borders of my Maid Guy Badge wallpaper aren’t smooth, but I’m sticking with it for now. I carry my laptop to class/work, and I can’t let anyone know I’m into anime. Too many things could go wrong. As the saying goes, you don’t talk about anime club. I might put the Athena wallpaper up on my desktop. In fact, I will.

    @Ashley: She comes with a removable straw that you can stick in her nozzle for powerful streamlined lubrication! You can find her at this neat figure shop called AutoZone. (I had to look up what this “cast-off” thing is all about, so correct me of I answered your question inappropriately)

  7. I first thought that the wallpaper was something from Soul Eater, an anime/manga I just plunged into yesterday. Similar style on that badge. Oh well…

    For your regular wallpaper, the one you’re going to show in public, I recommend something more abstract. I, for example, love using “water” wallpapers, like this one:

    Alternatively, you can use something in anime style, but that you can excuse otherwise. For example:


    That is, if you love Firefox.

  8. I can’t decide between yours and marmots wall which makes me hornier – marmots because it is covered in hot chicks or yours because everything you own burns with manly awesomeness.

  9. Main character Snake wannabe white-haired bishounen Raiden A.K.A. Jack gets harrassed by his girlfriend Rose every time you go to save the game. On one occasion, she talks about the time she snuck into his room.

    “There wasn’t anything in your room — only a bed and a small desk. It looked like a prison cell… No television set… no family pictures… not even a poster…” “Rose, I only use that room for sleeping.” “A lifeless room… almost like your empty heart.”
    Least manly relationships portrayed in video games for 500, Alex?
    (also, by that wall system, I am evidently aroused by soap.)

  10. @Viktor: Maybe that’s acceptable in Norway…though I am fond of the 3D-ish wallpapers.

    @j.valdez: Don’t tell me you’re my neighbor. Fuck you and your noise complaints.

    @Os: Sounds like you’ve been livin’ la vida loca.

    @LJ: I probably found that a lot funnier than it’s supposed to be. I could definitely see a girl saying that to me…and me cracking up.

    @Teeif: Did you also turn asexual after going to a tech school full of ugly bitchy fat girls?

    @Michael: What? No James Joyce figurines? I always thought your room looked more like this.

    An empty room…almost like your empty heart.

  11. @A Day Without Me: I know, I’m ashamed of myself. I only go there because it’s close and I’m a lazy sellout.

    @The Sojourner: Whoa, if you’re talking about this guy, I don’t know how I’ve been living without him.

  12. @ BR: Nope, I never went to a tech school and I wouldn’t go asexual over a blank wall. Only a mirrored wall would reflect that sort of self-fucking personality. A blank wall is clean…

  13. I live in my parents house. (I dun have pr0n on my floor). Only one year left til college. (Then I will have nekkid invisible ladiez on mah floor).

    I want Talk-a-Rapter 03. Gives me testosterone. To beat up my neighbors kids and run away in their powerwheels going slightly faster than a retarded ferret rolling on the pavement.

  14. No, I live in a dormitory, so the space is small. I have a lot of books in my home, however, but since it’s a big place I don’t have to cram books like that. I don’t think I have as big a collection as that girl, though. She’s probably a Harlequin romance fan.

  15. @Teeif: I meant asexual in the third sense of the word: “Lacking interest in or desire for sex.” When you go to a male-dominated tech school (redundant), you have three choices: (1) Turning asexual, (2) Turning gay, and (3) Lowering your standards.

    @korosora: Do you really want more Talk-A-Raptor? Funny, I don’t remember you sending me any Mail Mail. Can’t do Talk-A-Raptor without Mail Mail…

    @Michael: I’m kind of disappointed. Oh well, you’re still young. You’ll have a room like that someday.

  16. They also don’t produce James Joyce figurines. I myself want to get a William Faulkner figurine I can fap to admire, but no one has made it yet. πŸ™

  17. I would probably curse Harris Teeter less if their salesperson hadn’t looked at me like I was a dirty piece of trash that a raccoon had dragged in when I asked if they sold lottery tickets one time. Assholes.

  18. I offended a lot of people with my infamous critique of room posts, Geek Philosophy in the Boudoir, but your room has heart in its minimalism and lack of crassness in a simple, unadorned and unpretentious room that is a window to your soul.

    And any blogger who quotes me of all people in reference to a question can’t be all bad. I am concerned about your bed though, it looks like it might eat you.

    [by the way, I’m newgeekphilosopher but I moved my blog to dasaku.net and thus took the opportunity to change my blogger name to something less smarmy]

  19. @A Day Without Me: Those bastards. Lottery proceeds help fund State education programs! I’ll never shop at Harris Teeter again.

    @Asperger’s: Isn’t my room at lot like my website? As for my bed, even though it has demonic powers, I overpowered and suppressed them, like Sesshoumaru on Toukijin. It won’t eat me, but it could very well consume a lesser man.


    If i did one of these and included my fridge the only condiment is the 4 different kinds of mayonnaise that I own. as you can tell I’m very very white

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