10 Heterosexual Couples I Support

The most heterosexual picture on my hard drive

Despite my unwavering support of lesbianism in anime, I do occasionally approve of heterosexual relationships. The conditions are tough but fair:

  • The male cannot be a complete loser
  • The female cannot be a complete bitch
  • Generally, both characters must be at least 18 years old
  • If they’re both under 18, they must be similar in age
  • If only one character is over 18, it must be the female, and I must have been under 18 while watching the show

Here are 10 couples who meet the requirements. The list is not exclusive, nor is a top 10 list. These are simply the first 10 couples that came to mind.

Jouslain x Francia (Tytania)

They don’t even have to be a canon couple for me to pair them together—a perfect example of my perverted heterosexual mind at work. Impressed? I am. Not everyone has my heterosexual mangekyou sharingan byakugan shingan ryuugan eyes.

Natsuki x Touru (Ga-Rei Zero)

They were tragically killed by an evil lesbian. Perhaps lesbians aren’t so great after all.

Never mind.

Kenshiro x Yuria (Hokuto no Ken)

The perfect man. The perfect woman. The perfect couple.

Kurenai x Asuma (Naruto)

I haven’t watched Naruto since Shikamaru’s revenge arc. Somebody tell me if they’re back from filler yet.

Stein x Medusa (Soul Eater)

These two were meant for each other. Then stupid horny Stein had to ruin it all by picking Toilet Girl.

Hiruma x Mamori (Eyeshield 21)

Great heterosexual couple? Or the greatest heterosexual couple?

Ozma x Cathy (Macross Frontier)

Where’s the chili? Leave it to a woman to buy the wrong kind of hot dog. But it’s the thought that counts.

Ceres x Yuuhi (Ayashi no Ceres)

This pairing may appear to violate my anti-pedophilia rule because Yuuhi is only 16. However, I was 16 when I watched the show, so I don’t really care. What makes Ceres superior to Aya? In Yuuhi’s own words:

“Aya is more rude and annoying, and on top of that, has none of that grace or sex appeal.”

As for Touya, he’s an emo mess.

Takumi x Seira-tan (Chaos;Head)

Awwwwwwwwwwww, they’re so cute together. Makes me wish I had an imaginary girlfriend.

Amanda x Hermann (Blassreiter)

They each died like five times. And each time it broke my heart to think they wouldn’t end up together.

29 people love sucking up to me

  1. 16 is legal in most countries. I approve of KakaSaku, to be completely honest.

    Oh, PS – Naruto’s still on fillers (not that I watch it anymore, but my boyfriend keeps me updated). Hell, the whole premise is a filler. It just never fucking stops.

  2. Amanda didn’t die. It’s everyone else on the show who keeps dying, and coming back to life, and then dying again. That’s okay since Amanda was the main reason for watching Blassreiter.

    I agree Jouslain and Francia are definitely a couple. You don’t just keep a hot maid around and not do anything with her.

    As for your first pic, it’s probably better described as “manly” than “heterosexual” lol.

  3. YES.

    While I can think of a few other couples in the Macross franchise you’d approve of, Ozma and Cathy actually hold up well against a good number of pairings franchise-wise.

    -They solve the conspiracy together
    -They lived in the streets and sewers together while they were hunted and the city was turned into a battlefield and huge tracts were reduced to ruin

    And credit to Ozma, he underwent pineapple cake and OVER 9000 death flags and lived.

  4. Please tell me that first picture is you biting Eli Manning’s leg and sentencing him to football purgatory… which is to say, a purgatory that lacks football.

    I haven’t read the rest of your post.

  5. Takumi is pretty much a complete loser though, as evidenced by his creation of Seira-tan. If you have the ability to physically create a girlfriend, wouldn’t make her more awesome? or at the very least twin Seira-tans?

  6. @Baka-Raptor: “Awwwwwwwwwwww, they’re so cute together. Makes me wish I had an imaginary girlfriend.”

    Holy crap Baka-Raptor. You do NOT WANT an imaginary girlfriend like that. They say they love you, but really they don’t love you enough to be real and meet your parents, and live with you and stuff. Also, the one I dated, who may not have been entirely imaginary, just a freaking Crane Woman with emotional problems (Hey, just because you’re not a human doesn’t mean you can’t still be afraid of commitment), REALLY ruined my shit psychologically. She was needy and mopey and I only stayed with her because I thought I couldn’t do any better. Then she leaves me abandoned when we’re supposed to have a date in a bookstore. Pfft. Magical women, in the end they think they’ve matured as women but really they’re just magical GIRLS who don’t know what they want with their lives.

  7. Wow. I didn’t think you’d be enough into the Greek/Roman/Etruscan ideals to appreciate Yuria and Ken. You certainly threw me off with your application of wimp-morality (as the thankfully absent Carter would call it) to Souther.
    But I think I’ll actually contribute for a change.
    Medustein. “Dating Catwoman” never works out. Also, adaptation problems with Joe Buttaki. It could have been avoided, yes, but…
    And as for those dogs? I’d talk about them, but then I’d get myself worked up over why someone would see fit to use chile verde in the one food item that doesn’t need it.
    Suffice to say: young Capscium annuum (what makes them super is beyond me) in lieu of red peppers, pork in the stead of beef, and no beans. And most importantly, neglect to tell your animators a damn thing about what they’re working on unless the sparkly starts.

  8. NatsukiXTouru. I hated Ga-Rei because they had to kill a perfectly good couple. At least they should have made them last up to episode 3. Damn.

  9. Bah, 16 isn’t pedophilia. It’s simply jailbait. Jailbait!

    Also, that football player getting stabbed by the dinosaur riding swordsman is possibly the most win I’ve ever seen in a picture. I need to change my pants now.

  10. @Yamcha: jailbait ! jailbait ! LOL ! That picture is only one more prof of how raptors kick ass !

    @Aspenger, Baka-Raptor : Stop watching anime for a while and go outdoors…(just for a while) perhaps… and just maybe … you two find a real girl to date.

  11. I’ve realized you don’t hate enough BakaRaptor, I command you to watch shitty anime and hate them by putting them on your anime list and putting a ~~~.

  12. @Eroshiyda: Phew, initially I misread that and thought you wrote KakaSasu.

    @TJ: Yeah, I just went with it because I couldn’t find any picture that truly embodied heterosexuality, and I’ve been looking for an excuse to use that one.

    @ghostlightning: After further research, it has come to my attention that pineapple cake is used by some anime bloggers as a metaphor for sex. This is what I miss when I don’t watch a show as it’s airing.

    @Pode: They can do Kakashi Gaiden any day now…

    @imhotforchili: Agreed, she deserves me

    @Day: Yes you did

    @steelbound: You underestimate Takumi. He’s super special.

    @Asperger’s: If your imaginary girlfriend sucks, you can only blame yourself.

    @digitalboy: Thank for you implying that may 396 words are symmetrically equivalent to your 4000.

    @Omisyth: Nobody pushes Takumi around. He ignores his little sister and brushes off every girl who wants a piece of him. And instead of crying all day, he plays video games. Takumi isn’t a loser; he’s a hero.

    @LJ: Well pardon me for pairing up two of the show’s five characters who are neither boring nor irritating. I’ll let you decide whether that statement applies to Hokuto no Ken, Soul Eater, or Macross Frontier.

    @Amex_Yohko: A metaphorical interpretation would certainly explain the lack of chili…

    @purelyshin: I’m desensitized to incest in anime. But I wasn’t back then. Ceres was one of the first five anime I watched subbed, and for a while it held my overall #1 spot.

    @hug her and kiss her and make her my pet :V OF course I did not mean that sexually. You pervs.: Get thee to a nunnery

    @Roy Mustang: Zing!

    @Rakuen: They had a cameo in one of the later episodes. I forget which one, so I’ll just say it’s episode 8.

    @tflops: It’s not a spoiler if it doesn’t happen. Or if it happens in the first episode. Perhaps I’ve said too much…

    @jcpenguin & Yamcha: I’ll find a way to squeeze that picture into each of my next 10 posts.

    @Laguna: I can’t meet a real girl. Just imagine how heartbroken the three girls who read this site would be.

    @Qwerty: What the hell, somebody was just complaining that I don’t review enough “good” anime. Also, it takes a lot to hit the ~~~ mark. A show with any redeeming value makes it up to ~~. Maybe I’ll throw darts at a list of unlicensed 90’s OVAs and see what happens.

    @Shin: ShizNat 1-10.

  13. but its hard to like hetero couples over 18 when like 90% of the shows I watch feature characters under 18 OH NOES! D8;;

    Also all characters usually over 18 are ugly as sin so you don’t care to pair them.

    p.s. stein x medusa is nasty cause medusa takes the body of a 5 year old. mary ftw! even if she likes toilets 😉

  14. The hypocrisy in your list of conditions is hilarious. Not to mention the utter asinine conditions (Aside form the condition that the males and females must be awesome and nice and maybe one more condition).

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