Japanese School Swimsuits are Hideous

No wonder Galatea slashed her eyes and got to a nunnery

Me in 2001: Why are they having nosebleeds?

Me in 2006: Why are they bleeding out of anything but their eyes after seeing that ugly swimsuit?

Me in 2011: It’s funny because otaku have stupid fetishes.

It’d be easy enough to bash the fetishization of Japanese school swimsuits as pedophilic, but there’s no need to go there. Sukumizu are just plain ugly for women of all ages.

Do Not Want

The standard one-piece swimsuit is the baseline for judging all female swimwear. It’s simple, functional, commonplace, and looks good on women who look good. Any swimsuit worth fetishizing needs, at the very least, to have more appeal than the one-piece.

The Japanese school swimsuit = the standard one-piece swimsuit + an ugly ass crotch curtain

What’s the point of this? To make you swim slower? To shield Japanese sensibilities from the immodesty of the outer hip? To ward off tentacles? (If so, it’s doing a terrible job.)

You might have an excuse for fetishizing Japanese school swimsuits if you attended a Japanese school and regularly saw these abominations in action. The swimsuits would fall under the rule that any uniform from your everyday life can be fetishized no matter how ugly it is.

You did not attend a Japanese school. Get bent.

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52 people love sucking up to me

  1. chii says:

    Agreed, super ugly. I sure as hell would never put one of those on either.

  2. Jason says:

    I just found out that the skirted version is a two piece. In that case the skirt makes sense (or at least more sense than having the skirt on a one piece), to make sure the entire midsection is covered and leave little to no chance of any exposure.

    It is times like this I am glad I was born a man. Choosing swimwear is much easier for us. You don’t even really need actual trunks, just get a pair of shorts and BAM! You’re good to go.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      I thought it might be a two-piece, but when I looked around (ever so briefly), it seemed like the “skirt” was stitched to the bottom. I have no understanding of fashion, mind you, but if it is a two-piece, I’m not sure how the skirt would stay down. You’d think a little leg movement would cause it to ride up.

      • Kazeto says:

        Which is precisely why it’s longer and slightly tighter at the bottom, with some “models” having something that you could compare to buttons – so that it would stay down instead of exposing the belly of girls wearing it when they swim.

        And it’s a two-piece because it was created with schoolgirls in mind at first, and with all their weird traditions it’s just easier to make it a two-piece in case one of them has to go, instead of making it a one-piece and hoping that kids wearing it will be crafty enough.

        It could be changed to something better-looking, but then again, what for? As you mentioned, it’s functional, so there’s no need to change it if it’s kids at school that wear it, because at school they are to be concerned with learning how to swim better, and not with looking well in swimsuits.

  3. Adamar says:

    Are they one piece or two? I never got that.

    I, uh – like ‘em. I guess I will go and get bent now.

  4. Mushyrulez says:

    Don’t get what’s with showing your hips in any culture. Besides, just normal swimshorts look cuter anyways :|

    (that said, I don’t remember the last time I swam. Actually, I do, and that was probably like when I was eight, and I wasn’t paying much attention to females’ undergarments then, as y’know MY SWIMMING INSTRUCTOR WAS FUCKING PUSHING MY HEAD LIKE TWO METRES UNDERWATER. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW HE DOES THAT HE JUST DID ALRIGHT)

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      Swim shorts beat crotch curtains by a nautical mile.

      I was a swimming instructor once. Some of my colleagues would push kids underwater. I thought it was lazy and counterproductive, but that’s easy for me to say since I was a badass instructor who had full command of my students at all times.

      Now citing Golden Boy episode 4.

  5. digital boy says:

    I’m with you here. Every time I see a school swimsuit, I think, “there’s a wasted opportunity for a hot swimsuit.”

  6. feal87 says:

    I agree that they don’t make any special effect over me, but well…fetishes are fetishes. :P

    At least they don’t see dinosaurs screwing dinosaurs everyday! :O

  7. ShadowbladeEdge says:

    To be fair the outer hip is pretty immodest. Even still it’s not immodest enough to make this travesty acceptable. I’d also like the throw “buruma” on the table for stupid otaku clothing fetishes. They’re just awful.

  8. schneider says:

    Racerbacks are very sexy.

  9. Jacksonite says:

    I like when girls aren’t wearing pants… or any other leg covering clothing for that matter.

  10. Valence says:

    I don’t have a swimsuit fetish, I have a girl-with-as-little-clothing-as-possible fetish. Huge difference.

  11. FaS says:

    Valence, fuck yes lollllllll

  12. Setsae says:

    Damn right !
    Long live to the low cut one-piece swimsuit without crotch curtain.
    The beauty of it all resides in seeing whole body hugged by textile, after all. Same applies to two-pieces bikini at the beach. Frou-frou and all the crap can catch dust.

    At least, it couldn’t be worse than this:
    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01461/burqini220_1461190a.jpg

    (Yeah, I don’t know how to embed images and vids, so what?)

    Holy flush, If I was doomed by destiny, I’d be muslim and hypocrite v_v

  13. reiseng says:

    Swimsuits eh, I have never really been into the whole school swimsuit thing, but then again, my high school neither had a uniform nor a pool, so yeah.

    This might not be the best place or time to mention this, but a few weeks ago, I went to the museum and met your relatives. I am sorry, but they are all dead, but if it’s any consolation, their bones are worth a lot of money.

  14. glothelegend says:

    You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen on in real life, just in anime. I never really got the fetishism, they’re just like regular one piece bathing suits.

    But if a girl looks good in a one piece, she’s a keeper.

  15. hikaru says:

    Why are they always blue?

  16. Definitely not attractive in the least. Then again, I don’t think MOST swimsuits are attractive in the least. So I might not be the right person to judge.

  17. reiseng says:

    Oh wow, lucky you, I guess.
    Though I will say that it’s a pity you went to the West High School, had you gone to the East one, you could have been treated to a Planetarium! Now, how many kids can say that they went to a High School that had a freaking PLANETARIUM. Also, another advantage of the planetarium is that you might have a random encounter with a loli childhood friend who was into astronomy and stuff.

    p.s. I occasionally like stalking people, as long as it takes less than 5 minutes of google.
    p.s.s. I had to wiki NATATORIUM, though, I sort of guessed what it was.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      I stopped by the planetarium every now and then. The old dude in charge of it let me play around with the projector as long as I didn’t mess with the precession knob. One time I did and ran away.

      There was one girl in the Astronomy Club who was a total otaku and mildly bangable. It’s a shame she was all the way over at High School East. I don’t care for long-distance relationships.

  18. You’re so clever baka, i would never notice until you pointed out the differences. For me it was just a standard ass swimsuit. I think the all should use bikinis instead ;P

  19. V says:

    …fall under the rule that any uniform from your everyday life can be fetishized no matter how ugly it is.

    Dude, the school uniform at the boarding school I almost went to was hideous. Even worse than these Japanese short-skirt-swimming costumes. :<

    I'd love to see someone go about fetishizing a maroon, gold, and red skirt that came down to the calves (or else), ugly brown shoes and white socks, a navy blazer, a white blouse, a red tie with gold stripes and a STRAW BOATER HAT with a red bow. Thank GOD that school closed down a few years ago.

  20. Inushinde says:

    The school swimsuit is the exact opposite of a turn on, unless everyone who sees them is a puritan not used to seeing women in anything but three layers of itchy wool clothing. It’s that goddamn crotch bulge that completely shatters any remote sense of sexiness that it has into a thousand little pieces ready to be scooped and dumped in the nearest trash compacting receptacle.

  21. epigeios says:

    I’m pretty sure (although I’m not positive, and haven’t taken the time to look it up to double check) that the crotch curtain is actually an opening above the crotch piece. So, it’s like a one-piece, but with a big hole in it above the crotch.
    I was under the impression that this is to allow water to flow freely through the swimsuit, so that no pockets form due to openings created by a growing bust.
    Assuming this is true, it would then be easier to mass-produce in a way that fits all sizes (before modern textiles were invented, anyway).

    So yeah…
    still looks ugly. But at least it seems to exist for a reason.

  22. […] like this.  I would give it a 65%.Here’s the post I was talking about by Baka Raptor about Japanese Swimsuits (I mistook it for uniforms.  Apologies).Choose your love:Print Leave a Reply Click here to cancel […]

  23. Animeforall says:

    BLASHPEMY!!! How dare you disgrace the name of the School Swimsuit!
    That having been said, opinions are opinions and I respect yours. Still not ugly though~

  24. Taka says:

    To be fair the crotch curtain does accentuate that area more than a regular one piece imo but not as much as a bikini.
    It draws the eye so I can see how it would be fetishized.

  25. […] When he considers the sukumizu (=school swimsuit) possibility, he practically has a psychological nosebleed, so clearly this is his favorite.  Now, my best bet is that the one-piece is a transition in his thought process.  I do not believe he prefers a one-piece over a bikini, but is simply taking himself from the bikini (2nd best option) to the sukumizu (absolute best) by way of the one-piece.  As to the question why would anyone ever prefer a sukumizu over a bikini, I think the answer is one word: fetishization. […]

  26. Gargron says:

    These swimsuits can be attractive because they underline the female curves. As all swimsuits do, actually. Oh welp, hello B-R, I am still alive!

  27. kori says:

    i don’t like the style but i think its just a comfort item for anime…its probably an old style of swim were from those days when that much skin was sexy, the Japanese aren’t known for their forward thinking in raveling cloths(rather for their conservative ways) so in my opinion the suit is an outdated flash to the past, just look at the history of bikinis they started with high waists and triangle boobs, then morphed into g-strings…though more raveling (in my opinion not flattering unless your a runway model)…so all in all anime is just weird and just except

  28. cele88k8 says:

    I think those swimsuits are cute xD also they cover more skin than the normal ones @_@ …I don’t like showing so much xD D: I always use a skirt over my one piece swimsuit xDDDDD

    But it’s obvious that boys won’t like them, for you is “the less clothes, the better” XDDD

    (Sorry if I wrote something wrong, I don’t speak english XD)

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