Worst Golgo 13 Episode Ever

In episode 24, a female sniper is assigned the task of killing Golgo 13. It’s impossible to beat Golgo 13 in a fair fight, and women in general fight dirty, so she plots to mess up Golgo 13’s eyesight by exposing him to the sandy Sirocco/Ghibli winds of Morocco. Little did she know that Golgo 13 found the one subtle weakness in her otherwise foolproof plan.

Goggles. BAM. The End.

What’s next? Will Golgo 13 protect himself from mildly hazardous chemical spills by wearing a lab coat? Whoever wrote this episode needs to get fired and blacklisted from the anime industry. I expect better from Golgo 13. Episodes usually fall into one of four categories, all of which kick ass:

Superhuman Feat

Concept: Golgo 13 does something so ridiculously skillful that not only can nobody else achieve the feat, nobody else thinks it’s even possible.

Example #1: Golgo 13 snipes the G-string of a violin in the middle of a solo concert for charity.

Example #2: Golgo 13 snipes a guy from a location so far away in such windy conditions that the cops don’t think a reasonable jury could find him guilty, even though THEY FOUND THE GUN AND THE BULLET CASING.

Episode 24: It’s not a superhuman feat if somebody other than Golgo 13 can do it. That even includes the awesome power of wearing goggles.

Slick Trick

Concept: Golgo 13 beats the odds with his impeccable mastery of science and technology.

Example #1: In the episode where Golgo 13 busts a death row inmate out of jail just to kill him faster, they escape a maximum-security island prison by exploiting the halation of the search lights.

Example #2: Golgo 13 gets through metal detectors with a special polymer gun and uses helium balloons to carry away the evidence.

Episode 24: There’s nothing slick about using goggles to protect your eyes. It’s common sense.

Total Heartlessness

Concept: Characters are emotionally developed with the greatest delicacy over the course of the episode. Then Golgo 13 kills them.

Example #1: Golgo 13 stalks a woman who was outcast from society for having a criminal husband who deserted her. Rather than moving away and starting anew, the woman tolerates the abuses of society for years while waiting for her husband to return. One day, her husband finally returns. Then Golgo 13 kills him.

Example #2: The retirony episode.

Episode 24: So he killed a chick he’d just fucked silly with his patented cowgirl–zombie techique. Wouldn’t be the first time, won’t be the last.

Total Ass-kicking

Concept: Golgo 13 takes on a gang of enemies and completely wrecks them.

Example #1: Goglo 13 takes on a cult and completely wrecks them.

Example #2: Golgo 13 takes on a gang in the Amazon and completely wrecks them.

Episode 24: There was only a gang of about 15–20 people. That’s nothing for Golgo 13.

At least the episode wasn’t a complete waste. Golgo 13 did wear a white suit.

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