Endless Eight? More like Endless Pedophilia

Endless Eight was a waste of time, money, human resources, natural resources (e.g., oil, gas, animal pelt), bandwidth, and chakra. Good thing I didn’t watch Endless Eight—I watched Finite Five (skipped eps 5-7). It was only five-eighths as pedophilic.

You just read the most flattering review of Endless Eight on the internet.

Come on guys, IT IS WHAT IT IS! It’s a story about a time loop; why wouldn’t you expect repetition? If you didn’t like it, you were probably watching it wrong. Or maybe you weren’t in the show’s target audience, so you have no right to complain. I just happen to think that ‘who enjoys, wins.’

…is what I might say if I had no balls. If you’re looking for an excuse to hold a positive opinion of something that sucks, you’ve come to the wrong place. This post is an unbiased, objective analysis of Endless Eight’s successes and failures—nothing more, nothing less.

As I was watching Endless Eight, I saw the need for at least four episodes:

  • A suspiciously normal slice-of-life episode (EE1)
  • A time loop revelation episode (EE2)
  • A hint episode
  • A solution episode (EE8)

We got all of those except a hint episode. Therefore, at least three-eighths of the episodes have my permission to exist. This leaves EE3-EE7, the five episodes with no new material:

EE3: On one hand, it gave the audience a chance to scour the story for clues before the solution was revealed. On the other hand, it didn’t accomplish anything that rewatching EE2 couldn’t. Half-justified.

EE4: Had some artistic merit. Also gave us some fake hints (all that cloud/airplane stuff). Otherwise pointless. Half-justified.

EE5: An obvious waste of time.

EE6: An obvious waste of time.

EE7: An obvious waste of time.

Conclusion: Endless Eight was twice as long as it should’ve been. Unless, of course, Kyoto Animation had to sense to back up their gimmickry with new material, like this:

A story about a time loop should not suck. Eight episodes should be too few. All it takes to be successful is a little, you know, creativity. Too bad Kyoto Animation doesn’t know the meaning of the word. They want to be creative, but they’re too damn cowardly to deviate from the source material. Why add new substance when you could resort to bullshit gimmickry? Allow my master directorial skills to turn Endless Eight into something watchable:

  • EE1: A suspiciously normal slice-of-life episode (same)
  • EE2: A time loop revelation episode (same)
  • EE3: Kyon actually bothers to try something, fails
  • EE4: Kyon fails again, knows time will repeat, blows his life savings on strippers instead of going to sleep
  • EE5: An episode told from Nagato’s point of view
  • EE6: An “I love you” scene gone horribly wrong
  • EE7: Several variations on Kyon’s failed attempts
  • EE8: The solution episode (same)

That took about five minutes. I wonder why Kyoto Animation thought it could get away with the same exact thing for eight episodes. Oh yeah, it’s because everybody praised their bullshit gimmickry the first time around. This is why it’s important to complain about things that suck. People who make this shit need beatings, not hugs. “Who enjoys, wins“? What a joke. Who enjoys, gets abused.

And now we get another potentially good story ruined by bullshit gimmickry and pedophilia. All for a homework party. Seriously. Is a missing a homework party so regrettable that you’d repeat time 15,000+ times? Maybe I just don’t understand women.

45 people love sucking up to me

  1. Oh you and your pedophilia. Haruhi S2 needed a gimmick to match the out-of-order gimmick of the first season. E8 was bullshit and brilliant at the same time.

    Also Baka-kun, denwa~

  2. So, you want the animators to show some imagination by inventing their own stories? You would despoil Endless Eight with the addition of a… filler arc?

  3. Fuck these 8 episodes! They drag out this stupid story arc for what? so we get to see Haruhi get all flustered when she says she’ll be going to the homework party too? Thanks for the big middle finger, KyoAni.

  4. Yuo clearly can’t recognise the genius of KyoAni. They’ll shove crap down the fans’ throats and laugh while pocketing the cash from the DVD sales, then wai another 3 years to animate Disappearance.

    Also, I liked the ending. Woops.

  5. Wow, thats more pedophilia than a Michael Jackson sleepover! …Oh wait, I forgot. Michael Jackson pedophile jokes arent cool anymore, even though the same people who are now offended by them were the ones making said jokes only a few months ago.

  6. I’m one don’t understand that either. Who the hell goes to a homework party of all things.

    Anyways, the perspective change would have made for a nice way to blow through the tedium and hell, I would have enjoyed 1 episode where Kyon does something utterly ridiculous and have them go through 5 consecutive cycles which highlight Kyon’s various attempts only to result in a hilarious sort of BAD END (I keep thinking of the BAD ENDs to be in the vein of Akikan where Melon blasts the male lead with her glowing beamspam). Now that would be a show worth seeing.

  7. I liked Endless Eight eps 1, 2, 4, and 8. Which means I would’ve liked iterations 16 and 32 also. :p

    A semi-filler arc about Endless Eight would’ve been an improvement. As it is, it’s worse than filler. Anyone who gave 5 minutes of though could have come up with something better, as you demonstrated. What gets me is that there had to have been such colossal organizational failure, a Rube Goldberg-esque series of really, really bad decisions from top to bottom, for Endless Eight to have happened.

  8. When Baka-Raptor posts about KyoAni series, it generally results in win.

    “…is what I might say if I had no balls.”

    Touche. What is with the current culture of criticism on the anime blogosphere, that so many people are demanding reviewers to be apologetic and reserved? A reaction is a reaction. That’s the subjective component of a review, the objective component should then be an attempt to rationalize that reaction in terms of what the anime did, not in terms of what the reviewer did wrong while watching it. People seem so desperate to find justifications for enjoying anime others might see as crap that they need to go out of their way to voice (usually flaky) dismissals of criticism. Well, I enjoy watching crap too sometimes, but just because I enjoyed watching it, doesn’t mean I’m not going to put it on the same pedestal as something which I enjoyed and also thought was genuinely good.

  9. Ha! I watched every single episode of Endless Eight. Even my wife complained about how I was watching the same thing over and over again, and laughed at me as if I were an idiot. Ha! Joke’s on her, right? Right?? wrong.

  10. I never bothered with Haruhi and never will. Was it really that bad? Everyone says it is but fail to describe what exactly happens in those eight episodes. It comes to no loss for the producers considering the hordes of zombie fans that will still buy the merchandise after being trolled at so bad.

  11. YES. Four episodes. That’s exactly what I said. Why they decided to repeat the same shit over and over for eight God damn episodes is beyond me. To tell the truth, I would just skip right to the end before watching the episodes, and if the end was the same I just wouldn’t watch it. Even on the last episode I skipped through the whole first half.

    Your ideas for episodes were much better. I for one would have liked to see Kyon blow his money on strippers. I mean, worst case scenario is that you wake up the next day and time doesn’t repeat like you thought it would, but hey, at least you enjoyed some strippers.

  12. I agree with you 100% that each episode should have played out differently. I would have really enjoyed it if they actually put forth an effort to stop the loop and failed each episode. I said in blog that that the second episode was one of my favorite Haruhi episodes becuase you could feel the helplessness of Kyon and the others and I was eager to see them try to figure out what they should do. Instead, we just got a “oh well, lets give up” every week. Unfourtnately, I think it may suffer (or benefit?) from what I like to call the End of Eva Effect

  13. “Is a missing a homework party so regrettable that you’d repeat time 15,000+ times? Maybe I just don’t understand women.”

    Or maybe Haruhi’s the worst character ever created by anyone.

    My homework parties are the shit. They involve me breaking into the religion department via window or chapel. The best part? I ALWAYS HAVE MY HOMEWORK PARTIES ALONE.

  14. @Eroshiyda: Maybe, I doubt it though. The way they solved the problem was them most antimclimatic bullshit I’ve ever seen. After 15,000 repeats, nobody thought to try that? really? really!? REALLY KYOTO ANIMATION!? come on, we’re not that stupid!

  15. KyoAni’s next master plan to somehow sell DVDs of endless eight:

    DVD1: Endless Eight 1 + Bamboo Rhapsody
    DVD2: EE2 + episode 10
    DVD3: EE3 + episode 11
    DVD4: EE4 + episode 12
    etc etc.


    kahaha jokes are on you and everyone else who watched this >=D

  16. Hey, it’s me again, just that I’ve fixed my screen name to reflect the new name of my blog. And yes, the SNAG part is ironic. Not hipster ironic, because those guys are ruining manga for everyone.

    Baka-Raptor, your opinion of Haruhi Suzumiya is an interesting one, however I must point out why you don’t review many shows that you DO like, or explain the meaning behind the actual content in a philosophical manner. That might have something to do with your immovable set of aesthetics, which you are consistent with, but for once I’d like to see you explore the deep ideas behind an anime or manga beyond “It’s awesome” or “It’s paedophilic”. Much more interesting than just saying it’s paedophilic, exploring the theories of sociology which help us understand the reasons why paedophilic content exists in anime shows and manga, is just as hilarious. Seriously, read Anthony Giddens. You’ll never see a trap the same way again.

  17. @bakaraptor
    I was exactly the same, watched the first 4 and the last one. Though I admit, I just watched the last one now and skipped to ending. Great minds think alike or something like that I guess.
    However I totally disagree with your misuse of the word ‘pedophilic’ since for whatever reason you’ve gotten in the habit of using the word to describe negative things as opposed to the actual meaning of the word.

    @SNAG Vs. World
    Trying to be funny right?

  18. I’m trying to SAY things like this to everyone else for years , yet they all refuse to accept, and keep sucking up to horible shows with the most bullshit excuses that i’ve ever heard. This doesn’t have anything with target audiences or anything else. A BAD SHOW IS A BAD SHOW AFTER ALL. If people like it (otherwise Naruto/Bleach/One Piece wouldn’t be in its 999+ episode) it is because they like bulshit anime and cannot admit it, so they give a lot of excuses to try to justify why they love bullshit in the first place.

  19. I actually watched every minute of E8. Initially there was some value in watching each episode as KyoAni definitely put some effort into differentiating episodes through directorial styles. E8/#4 was “What if we make Haruhi sound melancholy/like she’s on Ritalin?”, and in other episodes they played around with different pacing, lighting and spookiness levels. Other than the eps BakaRaptor pointed out, there wasn’t a TON of value in watching each ep, but not zero. At some point, though, it felt like they started mailing it in. There’re only so many ways you can animate/speak a line of dialogue… Four or five eps should have been the cap.


    I can help explain. Baka-Raptor usually -pedophiles- to contact the -pedophile-, but after a week without -pedophilia- , I was starting to wonder if something was wrong. And then -pedophile- happened…

  20. Kyoani’s plan to sell Endless Eight DVD’s has already been carried out. They’re in a position in Japan to follow the Field of Dreams philosophy. “If you build it, they will come”. Well now they’ve built it, all they have to do is sit back and wait for them to come.

  21. Serves me for not bothering to proofread my comments.

    What I meant to say here was: “…but just because I enjoyed watching it, doesn’t mean I’m going to put it on the same pedestal as something which I enjoyed and also thought was genuinely good.”

    Yeah, that usually happens too.

  22. @Noirswood: I’ll rape Kyon-kun’s denwa.

    @coburn, Qwerty & kadian1364: Sometimes it’s necessary to become evil to fight evil. Even though they both tend to suck, filler > repetition.

    @FMF: Kyoto Animation doesn’t think your thanks are sarcastic. They might even be making a movie.

    @Omisyth: Actually, I’m quite envious of their evil genius. And don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you that you liked the ending, even if it was lame and pedophilic.

    @Praz: Jackson was never found guilty of any pedophilic acts. Therefore, he’s not a pedophile.

    @dood: I hear some new Haruhi might come out in 2-3 years.

    @lelangir: Calm down, my review of Onani Master Kurosawa is coming shortly (i.e., in 6-8 weeks).

    @Moonlily: I’m one don’t understand that either. In any case, I’m looking forward to the upcoming Akikan OVA more than any new episode of Haruhii.

    @ghostlightning: I think I would’ve enjoyed your mom much more than what’s available.

    @Snark: But you played an eroge, not exactly unimpressive.

    @Sorrow-kun-13: The more annoying problem is the double standard. There are some shows that get panned in season previews, long before they’re even watched. Other shows are untouchable, no matter how many episodes you watch or how much you analyze them. Well, no worries, I’ll continue to hate on stuff I hate, no matter how much the blogging “culture” decries it.

    @schneider: Click on the link that says “like this.” It’ll show you the way.

    @animekritik: That’s what you get for having faith in something.

    @Zantetsu: Basically, they do a bunch of random summer activities for 2 weeks. Time repeats. They do the same stuff. Time repeats. This happens eight times. Finally, they figure out that the time loop was caused by Haruhi’s regretting that they didn’t have a homework party. The end.

    @Glo the Legend: Haruhi might’ve wanted the summer experience of going to a strip club. Sounds a lot more plausible than a homework party.

    @thekungfukid-18: Haven’t seen End of Eva yet. No apologies.

    @Eroshiyda: Well, you’ll be less disappointed. No guarantees that you won’t be disappointed at all. I thought the ending was kind of lame.

    @Day: I thought girls are supposed to idolize Haruhi. She’s large and in charge and stomps on all the social constructs meant to keep women down! Girl power?

    @thekungfukid-21: I never would’ve thought to try that. Has anyone ever held a homework party in the history of mankind?

    @gaguri: Baka-Raptor’s master plan: don’t buy any of those.

    @Snag vs. World: I don’t care about depth or theory or any of that fluffy stuff. All I want is a good story. If I get one, it’s awesome. If I don’t, it’s pedophilic. Why mess with a system that works?

    @moridin84: All the shows I listed are pedophilic in the sense that they’re rife with blatant moé fanservice that appeals to pedophiles. However, I was irresponsible to say that Endless Eight was ruined by pedophilia. It was certainly pedophilic, but it was the gimmickry that did it in, not the pedophilia.

    @Laguna: Really, why can’t people admit they like crappy shows? I like Queen’s Blade, but I’ll be the first to admit it sucks in quite a number of ways. If someone gave it a fair chance and said it sucks, I wouldn’t castigate them. They’re probably right, at least at some level. I’m not going to tell them they’re “watching it wrong” or they can’t criticize a show if they’re “not in the target audience.” Just because you dislike a show doesn’t mean your opinion is any less valid than someone who likes the show.

    @Omisyth-26: Thank you for proofreading Sorrow-kun’s comment, though you missed a few slightly less appalling errors.

    @BobaFetish: Yeah, the dark and creepy stuff was the value I found in ep 4. I skimmed through EE5 and saw what looked like a normal episode, so I figured it was safe to drop. And excellent joke @moridin84. I apologize for not coming up with it first.

    @Kaioshin Sama: “If you build it, they will come” applies to reputation too. If there’s any justice in the world, Kyoto Animation will take a hit.

    @Sorrow-kun-29: Serves you indeed.

  23. Garbage EE, I dropped the series about the 2nd EE. I have myself a spine, and I see no reason why I have to stomach this crap Kyoani was feeding me. When the food tastes bad, it’s time to put the table out

  24. Hey buddy. Your last comment was 2009 so you may not even see this comment. I found this page after watching the movie Googling “Endless eight.” You’re one of the top entries. And now I remember why I love reading your stuff. I’m going back and finishing S2

    • “You truly are obsessed with [pointing out how] pedophilia [is wrong and not suitable for real men/dinosaurs such as yourself. It is very unfortunate that modern anime forces such an endeavor upon you by including such high amounts of pedophilic content]. I [certainly don’t] wonder who the sick one is [; it’s obviously the ones attracted to the underage characters and not yourself, who has shown time and again to have healthy (and legal) sexual desires].”

      I went ahead and fixed that for you.

  25. 3 episodes would have been fine, 8 was wasteful.
    What pedophilia are you are you talking about, you mean the young kids in normal beach/pool wear? You are very oversensitive if you think there is something wrong with that. The only thing remotely sexual in this anime is Kyon thinking about how Mikuru (who is a year older then him) is attractive. Considering they are both high school students nothing is wrong with this.

    Also pedophilia is being attracted to prepubescent children (elementary/early middle school), not high school students who have finished puberty and are biologically adults (capable of producing children themselves).

    Being attracted to a high school student is perfectly normal, actually having sex with one when you are over 18 yourself is illegal in some states/countries because it is believed they are too young to make that sort of decision for themselves.

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