Gantz: Manliest Anime Manga Ever?

As you can infer from this kickass manga shot, I’m not trying to bullshit you about manliness like all those feminine hygiene commercials.

If you buy anything that’s marketed as  “_______ for men,” you’re a tool. It’s just like X-treme marketing. Putting the same shit in a different container doesn’t make it suck less.

I have no reason to lie about Gantz being manly. First of all, I don’t need to sell you; the most convincing review ever written should’ve already done it.

….What a deep, psychological anime with so many thought-provoking philosophies. What a substantial story that realistically portrays human reactions in extremely desperate situations. What a cerebral anime that is omnipresent of multi-dimensional characters and their tragic destinies, tits and asses, moronic aliens, and a pussy-licking dog…

…pussy-licking dog? O_o

Err… sorry people. I was quite drunk when I was writing the first paragraph. Forget everything I said above except tits and asses, moronic aliens, and a pussy-licking dog. In actuality, Gantz is supposed to be a psychological anime. However, there are more than enough hints just in the first episode alone to tell its viewers that this anime is anything but deep and cerebral. In the first minute of the first episode, Kurono (the main male lead) was having an erection. Then there appeared a naked girl with big tits who made one horny dog run to lick her pussy. Then there’s a black ball that sings, “Wake up to the new day of hope. Fill your hearts with happiness etc.” before sending these morons to get killed by aliens. Yeah, hope my foot. Happiness my ass.

Yup, that’s right. Gantz is not meant to be taken seriously. This anime is something which would entertain its viewers for the completely wrong reasons. Many things in Gantz are so out of place and contradictory that viewers would just crack up at how stupid everything is. Anything can happen in Gantz for no reason. For example, before the fourth mission started, there is one dude who was supposed to die so that he can join the ‘game of death’… but…he was still alive. Hence, the author made him die by having a giant log flowing out of nowhere to crush him dead when he was swimming (and I must add that he was swimming in a very shallow stream in central Tokyo. Yeah, giant log flowing into a shallow city canal. [sarcasm] That’s convincing as hell, [end sarcasm] ain’t it?).

The characters in Gantz made me laugh even harder. These dumbasses are the most idiotic bunches of morons I have come across. When the aliens or the villains were charging at them, they would either 1) stand still, discussing with one another very calmly and casually whether they should, or should not shoot, or 2) babble some bullcrap morals and philosophies, encouraging everyone to ‘talk it over peacefully’ with the villains. But although their interactions are idiotically unrealistic, they are not without good points. For one, it’s stupidly entertaining. Secondly, these idiots’ interactions would annoy the hell out of me to the extent that I would wish many of them dead…and my wishes were always fulfilled. The best part of Gantz is to watch these idiots getting killed one after another in the most horrible ways imaginable. I want to talk about who got killed by what as those scenes are extremely amusing. But they will become spoilers…so I’ll stop talking about those for now 🙂

The fanservice is also a hilarious addition. Kurono, the main male lead, is an ultra horny dude. Throughout the series, he’d be reading porno magazines, staring at girls’ tits, or having wild sexual fantasies before jerking off. Let’s go back to the fifth episode when Kurono was being beaten up by one badass delinquent. Instead of thinking about how he would fight back, he was fantasizing Kei naked and getting an erection. Moreover, he is extremely shameless when it comes to asking girls for sex. Had anyone done what he did in the real world, they would have gotten slapped; nevertheless, this is Gantz, my friend. Anything can happen. The creators knew that their viewers want fanservice; consequently, it’s no surprise that the chicks in Gantz would be happy and willing to allow Kurono to screw their yolks. Let’s take that scene between Kurono and Sakuraoka before the third mission, for example. Here, this dialogue:

Kurono: (sob, sob)
Sakuraoka: You look so down. Think of me as your big sister. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Kurono: Can I have sex with you?
Sakuraoka: Baka!…right now?
Kurono: Yeah, can I?
Sakuraoka: Okay.

Mwahahahahahaha…I like this shit. It’s stupidly hilarious XD

So there you have it, folks. Gantz is one pervert, crazy, and insanely amusing ride. Of course, I can’t write this off as something ‘good’. As a psychological anime, Gantz failed miserably. Fortunately, I have a very twisted sense of humor that I will laugh when I see something stupidly contradictory. As a result, I was laughing like mad throughout the series. In fact, I have not laughed so hard from watching this kind of violent (and retarded) story since Battle Royal Live Action Movie I. If you are expecting Gantz to be a deep, psychological story, this will turn out to be the dumbest anime you will ever see. On the other hand, if you turn off your rationality and expect nothing but hilarious ecchi fanservice, amusingly retarded characters, and a stupidly contradictory story, this is gonna be one of the funniest anime you will ever find…. ….and yeah, I will be watching this shit again XD

Still not convinced?

Gantz has some of the most badass characters you’ll ever see, including a poor man’s Golgo 13 and this huge ass dude called Muscle Rider, who has clearly been training in the mountains.

Gantz pays tribute to its manly predecessors, including Golgo 13, Fist of the North Star, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

Not to be lost among Gantz’s accomplishments is its masterful objectification women.

Most manga chapters are introduced with a provocative shot of a real woman (i.e., no DFC and yes pubic hair). The women are so masterfully objectified that initially you don’t even realize they’re characters in the series.

  • Typical manga cover shot: “Hey, that’s Character X! She looks hot!”
  • Gantz manga cover shots: “She looks hot! Hey, that’s Character X!”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the true meaning of objectification.

Well developed minor characters
Simultaneous subplots
Unforeseeable plot twists
Comical victimization
Regular victimization
Random cat
Random dog
Random panda
Badass mid-episode transitions
Soundtrack by Yuki Kajiura
Fade into intro/ending
Catchy dance sequence
Themes of Hatred/Suffering/Revenge
Enterprising use of nudity
Stylish visual effects
Giant Robots
Robot Suits
Tournament Competition
Non-tournament based competitive activity
Graphic violence
Non-pedophilic character design
Failed confessions
Pimp in a white suit
Soft-spoken girl voiced by Mamiko Noto
Time Travel
Supernatural Power
Poetic dubbing
Public Rape
Obligatory hot springs episode
Guy who never says anything
Trademark Infrigement
Objectification of Women

Gantz is excellent, but it’s not perfect.

  • Too much talking on the battlefield
  • Too many half-assed attempts at depth (ideally there would be none, depth is usually bullshit regardless of how hard you try)
  • Too many characters seem to be introduced for the sole purpose of “tragically” dying off 20 chapters later
  • They could’ve killed off the old woman a little faster
  • The anime ending was useless
  • Muscle Rider gets stuck babysitting a little kid

No final grade yet. The manga is still running and appears to be heading into its final series of battles. Give it another year or two.

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