According to Anime

Anime isn't just entertaining; it's educational too. Here's where you'll find a small subset of the many deep lessons that anime can teach us.

Lesson 4: Hiding behind a bush makes you invisible

Wait, was that last one from The Boondocks? But The Boondocks isn't anime! I guess it works in non-anime situations too, even Jigoku Shoujo live action:

Careful, there are still two ways you can be seen behind a bush:

1. You're approached from behind
2. You step on a twig

Lesson 3: Any girl who weighs more than 50 kg (110 lbs) is fat

What do the following girls have in common?

They're the diet-obsessed fat girls of their respective 4-koma adaptations. They're not thin enough to see their ribs, but they're not fat enough to scare away viewers. Directors know better than to stick legitimately fat chicks in anime. Guess which background character from My HiME never got any screen time:

The short girl, tall girl, nerd girl, and robot girl all made the cut.

Isn't it great that Japanese culture holds women to high standards? In America, fatasses rule the airwaves, feeding people politically correct bullshit about how they should "love their bodies". Apparently, loving your body means voluntarily ingesting tons of grease and not giving a shit if you're mistaken for a manatee. Honestly, what's worse: mental anguish or a heart attack? American priorities are so screwed up that we now have a "full bodied" American Idol. Don't call her fat though � you'll get persecuted for it:

These complacent assholes need beatings. That'll teach them to love their bodies.

Lesson 2: Don't lock up your kids in a dungeon

Sometimes your kids can't control their supernatural powers. Sometimes you're conducting a sociological experiment. Sometimes you're just too lazy to beat them. There's always a valid reason to lock your kids in a dungeon � just don't do it, or at least reconsider. Your kids will become homicidal maniacs, and you're guaranteed to be their first target.

Lesson 1: There are worse things in life than lesbian rape

Picture this: Your daughter just got raped. It's the worst day of your life, right? Now you're informed that she got raped by her hot lesbian friend. Admit it � you feel slightly less crappy. Besides, if anime has taught us anything, it's that this is all your daughter's fault. She should've been able to pick up on her best friend's burning unrequited lust.

What's the punishment? Jail time? Community service? Hell no. They'll sit down, sort things out, and grow closer from the experience.

746 valuable life lessons can be learned from watching anime