I prefer anime without gay sex

Some call me a homophobe because I prefer watching anime without gay sex. I tell them I can’t be homophobic because I like lesbians. They tell me that gays and lesbians are completely different, because lesbians are demeaning and trashy, whereas gays are artistic and enlightening. I tell them I like gay characters too, particularly the flaming ones, so long as they take their anal adventures off screen. They call me a homophobe nonetheless. If they’re right, I must be phobic of a lot more than just homos.

1. Public Displays of Affection

People these days are too empowered. What ever happened to shame? We don’t live in an uncivilized jungle where all the animals can just fuck around wherever they want. Showing any form of affection in public is indecent. It’s also scientifically proven to spread mononucleosis, gingivitis, and the bubonic plague. But I suppose being anti-plague makes me a racist since it’s the black death.

2. Fat Sex

There are tons of good fat characters, literally.  Does that mean I want to see them eating each other out, metaphorically? Fuck no, literally. Fat people aren’t designed to have sex. They’re designed for lots of things, such as rolling and hibernating, but not sex.

3. Old Sex

There isn’t enough sex to go around, and old people have already had their fair share. They don’t need to have any more of it, and there’s certainly no justification for filming it.

4. Underage Sex

I’m constantly decrying pedophilia in anime, yet no one has ever called me a pedophobe. Why call me a homophobe at the slightest suggestion that I don’t like watching gay anime?

In conclusion, I challenge you to bang another member of the same sex. If you don’t like it, you’re a homophobe.