7 Replies to “A Linear Review of Final Fantasy XIII”

  1. I played through most of this game a few years back. I dropped off at the point where everyone was running around on pulse trying to kill some mob hunt that was surrounded by a bunch of babies. I don’t remember many details, just that the mob could almost one shot me or instakill. Lightning was kinda bitchy, but if I had a younger sister that was marrying a guy like Snow, I’d be pretty worried. He seems nice enough, but you can’t shounen your way through marriage, bills, mortgages, or child rearing. Hope….was terrible. Fang was a hot, and Vanille was nicknamed “Teenage dream” by me. I had mentally shipped her and Hope together so they would balance each other out. Sazh was… a black man. He had a ‘fro, that too cold/too old for this attitude, dat sweet black man way of speaking but unfortunately no jive talk, and not one, but two guns. A child that he needs to pay support on Still was awesome though. Overall, from what I played I agree with the ‘+’ rating. People complained a lot about this game, but I liked it. Well, I also like FF12 and people complained about that too, but those are the only two I’ve ever played, so what do I know.

    • There’s been bitching about every Final Fantasy game after VII. Nothing new here.

      I’m really curious to see how Sazh’s character came out in the Japanese version. Not that Japan would every do anything racist…

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA~! Excuse me. Ahem. Anyways.

    I really have to say, I don’t know if jRPG character writing has just ‘gone downhill’ lately or if I’ve just abruptly become an old man, but it seems that lately the only characters I can relate to and have any sympathy for are father/uncle characters. Whereas FFX more or less kept me hooked from start to finish with every party member’s innermost problems, all of which clearly laid out, it seems that everybody but Sazh this time around has a major case of “unhealthily bottling up all their angst and expressing it by acting like 13-year-old little shits” as their central character arc.

    • Yeah, yeah, save it for my review of Dark Souls.

      This 2009 jRPG being the most recent one I’ve played, the most recent prior to that being from 2006, I can only pray you’re a sadistic liar.

  3. Usually I’d forgive an RPG and some genres of anime/manga for not having a great plot, but FXIII’s plot goes way beyond being bad. If you don’t think about it, like at all, its okay I guess but if you actually stop and try thinking about it just for a second, not a single point in this game makes any sense. The characters are horrible, especially Snow and Hope. Everyone should totally watch Spoony’s review , and think about what has the world come to, if that kind thing can get an above 90 score on all major game reviewing websites.

    • Just watched the first part, will watch the other parts later. Part 1 was about 10% valid criticism, 90% criticism you could throw at any video game ever made. We’ll see how this shakes out.

      My major complaints with the plot are that it’s uneven (all on Cocoon, nothing on Pulse) and it’s somewhat incomplete (presumably addressed in the sequels). It makes sense though, at least as much as any other FF game, which may not be saying much.

      • While he does complain about tons of things I’d forgive an RPG for, he does make some really valid points, like the fal’Cie who are supposed to be godlike beings wise beyond human standards being absolutely retarded in general and threatening to kill you unless you do the mission they want you to do while not even giving you a clue what that mission is… for no reason at all.

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