26 Replies to “June Fools”

    • I’m told I’ll most likely be teaching elementary school with an occasional trip to a junior high school. Still awaiting further details.

  1. Soooo… you learned basic Japanese so now you can teach English in Japan?

    I mean really, can any foreigner teach English in Japan?

    • Pretty much. You don’t even need to speak Japanese. That’s just a plus, as was the TEFL certificate. The only true requirements are a Bachelor’s degree and a certain number of years of English language schooling (basically anyone in the US, Canada, and UK are assumed to be fine). They also administered a spelling & grammar test at the interview, which I absolutely demolished.

  2. I teach nutrition in after school programs to elementary, junior high, and high school kids in an after school setting, so I can understand the urge to be lazy. On the other hand, me and my kids usually have the most fun when I teach the lessons I made myself. If you can relate the lessons back to traffic court somehow, you can inspire the minds of future manga/anime creators to make a better show than Wizard Barristers. Ok. That’s the last time I will bring up the show (unless someone says it first). I noticed that you have mountain training in your tags. Are you going to room and board in the wilds and return to the USA as an enlightened monk/martial artist? It would suck if you didn’t after you did a whole post on why beach training sucks. Speaking of beaches and Japan, since you are slotted to be there for one year, are you going to have an onsen episode? Since you’re teaching little kids, you may need to find an older crowd to do the requisite weekend trip complete with (failed) mixed bathing or trying to peak into the woman’s bath, milk drinking, ping pong, and having your female kouhai trying to get you to notice her more. As someone with a strong wanderlust instinct, I am envious of the opportunity. Good Travels and enjoy the hell out of everything!

    • For some reason (probably laziness) my Mountain Training didn’t have the mountain training tag. Fixed.

      Some other interviewees did their own lessons. Some were great. Others seemed great in theory but had holes that were exposed for the first time when teaching in front of a mock class. I mainly stuck with the script to ensure that nothing unexpected would happen. If I’m going to do this for a whole year, it’s hard to imagine I won’t take things into my own hands once in a while. Maybe I’ll teach a lesson featuring Cecil’s Engrish.

      Every episode will be an onsen episode, at least in the winter. It’s cheaper than skiing and sake, which are apparently the only other things to do up there. In the summer I’ll train in the wilderness until I can qualify to be a token gaijin on Ninja Warrior.

  3. Nice! So when you say you are spending a year, are you planning on doing this and then coming straight back to the USA to continue work as an attorney, or are you considering the possibility of living abroad for a longer time? Did you get a full ride to law school? Teaching in Japan is something I always wish I had done, but I got married right after undergrad, and I had to work while my wife finished grad school. Oh, well. I’ve been there on vacation and I have another hiking trip there planned for 2015. Have fun!

    • The plan right now is to stay for as long as it takes to become fluent in Japanese. I’m hoping it’ll only take a year, but I’m open to staying a second year if necessary. Then I’ll probably open a traffic defense practice back in New York.

      No free ride to law school, but my parents took care of some of it, and my earnings as a patent attorney took care of the rest. Right now I’m financially in the best position of my life to do something like this. It’s amazing how much you can save when you move back in with your parents and don’t have a life. Can’t say you’re doing too poorly either if you’re married and having multiple vacations in Japan.

  4. Excellent! Now you just need to take the scenic route and stop over in London. πŸ˜‰

    Have fun Baka-san!

      • Is that like that thing from the Game of Thrones?

        “When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east,” she said sadly. β€œWhen the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When my womb quickens again, and I bear a living child. Then you will return, my sun-and-stars, and not before.”

        • More like Macbeth.

          “Macbeth shall never vanquish’d be until / Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill / Shall come against him.”

          (Never seen Game of Thrones. It’s on The List.)

  5. I’m curious though. I get that it’s quite an opportunity, but it’s still a damnably sudden complete 180 in terms of disposition.
    Were you just embellishing back then? Experience taught you otherwise? Actually a robot body double?

    I wish you luck in adapting to the different voltages, nonetheless.

    • The whole world just seems like a much rosier place after you’ve spent a year in traffic court.

  6. What organization? I think I applied to AEON and they never got back to me. Also applied to JET (I think) and The Kelly Yang Project which is some gifted and talented bullshit out in Hong Kong. Never heard back from them either.

    • Was waiting for someone to ask so I could post this:

      AEON is for assholes. They reviewed your application and determined you didn’t qualify.

  7. Sweet, I always wanted to teach in Japan. My plan was to apply to JET after university, but then I ended up getting into something that I couldn’t pass up. Needless to say I just make do with regular bi-yearly trips to Japan. πŸ™

    Hope you have a good time there! Too bad you’re not a white guy, cause even ugly white guys get super hot J-girlfriends in Japan.

    • My white colleagues still haven’t discovered their true power levels. I’m counting on them to wing for me but they keep bringing over mediocrity.

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