Ranking My NES Games

I owned only five games for my NES. This is in part because my parents are cheap and in part because I got the NES late in its life cycle (because my parents are cheap). When you have only five games for your system, you get enough mileage out of them remember them clear as day 20 years later. I could surely go another few decades without forgetting a single detail of these games, but continuing to procrastinate on an NES post will only make me seem older.

1. Crystalis

  

Pros:

Cons:

  • Grinding
  • Cartridge frequently lost its save data
  • Not crappy enough to get a sequel

Final Grade: ++

2. Baseball Simulator 1.000

Pros:

  • Ultra League teams had special powers
    • Pitches
      • Zigzag
      • Invisible
      • Super fast
      • Cannonball
    • Hits
      • Earthquake
      • Make a catching fielder fly into the outfield wall and drop the ball
      • Spinning ball that’s impossible to pick up
    • Fielding
      • Jump 50 feet into the air to catch a fly ball
      • Other powers probably (I didn’t use fielding powers much)
  • Good pitching/batting graphics

Cons:

  • Boring title
  • Crappy graphics when fielding/baserunning
  • Non-Ultra League teams played normal baseball (boring)

Final Grade: +

3. Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt

Pros:

  • Groundbreaking

Cons:

  • Quickly surpassed by sequels and spinoffs

Final Grade: +

4. Tecmo Super Bowl

Pros:

  • Cut scenes (because the regular graphics were so bad)
  • Play selection screen
  • You could play as the NY Giants

Cons:

  • Shitty graphics
  • Seriously shitty graphics
  • Not ESPN NFL 2K5

Final Grade: ~

5. Flying Dragon

Pros:

  • One-on-one fighting system was pretty cool if you’d never seen another one
  • The spin kick

Cons:

  • Repetitive, ugly, bitch-work side-scrolling segments between one-on-one fights
  • Bulls-eyes telling you where to aim/defend
  • No ending, just repeating everything over again

Final Grade: ~~