Season 5: Sellout

Prehistoric fans of this site know that I organize my archives into half-year seasons. This is no longer necessary because WordPress automatically archives my posts; nevertheless, it’s a tradition I shall continue. Today marks the end of Season 5, the approximate 2.5 year mark of, as well as my half-year milestone since selling out. The title “Sellout” refers to my earth-shaking switch from a Maddox-style HTML-only bare-bones anything-goes website to a glossy PHP/CSS/SQL/HTML otaku-interest-only blog with polls, comment boxes, tag clouds, and an RSS feed. Why did I sellout? Because having a manly kickass website for two years got me nothing, except the privilege of being The Knight of Zero.

Anime blogs that started later than me, such as THAT and RIUVA, regularly reach my monthly hit totals in a matter of hours. Even though I was light-years from catching up to my kouhais, I knew I could at least do better than 50 unique visitors per day. Six months after selling out, I’ve tripled that mark, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement. I’ve been brainstorming more ways to sell out:

  • Pretend I’m a girl
  • Blog episodes of Code Geass and every show from Kyoto Animation
  • SEO optimization
  • “Ecchi” picture dumps of “lolis”
  • J-List Advertisements

Now for your season highlights:

3/2: I make my first official sellout-era post.

3/20: I beat up Raki.

4/1: The Pizza-Raptor banner adorns my homepage, displacing Baka-Raptor for the first time in site history.

4/3: I watch the best anime drama ever. Then I change its shitty title.

4/8: To mark my induction to the Anime Nano RSS feed, I document the vital role of dinosaurs in anime.

4/11: I discover the secret to making a popular post: Kyonko.

4/16: My campaign to win an ABA produces my most popular sellout-era post.

4/27: I don’t win any ABAs, but I do win all the BRAs.

4/30: I meet my co-host, Tidus!

5/1: Pizza-Raptor dies.

5/5: Talk-A-Raptor 01 revolutionizes the world of video blogging.

5/17: I write an intentionally crappy post to bait the trolls. Then I censor their comments.

5/30 – 7/12: I write the Kure-nai sucks trilogy.

6/3: I finally begin watching Evangelion.

6/12: I jump off the Bridge of Sighs.

7/15: 1000 comments!

7/31: I make the greatest contribution to literary discourse ever.

8/16: tak comments on my Raki post nearly five months after I wrote it, thus ending the greatest inside joke in the history of this website.

Now that I’ve been around for five seasons, it’s about damn time I made myself a Hall of Fame. I plan to induct eight posts from the prehistoric era and two posts from each sellout-era season. Although I’m making the final calls, suggestions will be considered.

I’m also planning to put up a quote rotator. I got the idea from the badass quote rotator over at typezero.

I’m obviously going to put up quotes from my posts, but I’ll also consider the best comments you’ve written, as well as the best comments I’ve written, even if I wrote them on other sites. If you have any nominations for the quote rotator or the hall of fame, stick them in the comments.

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