Diary of a Manga Lived: I Saved the World

Many of you have been wondering what I’ve been doing for the past month. In a few words, I was saving the world.

In the 7th month of the year 20XX, the Queen of Terror was sealed in My Balls. To save mankind from total annihilation, I had no choice but to keep myself from ejaculating for the entire month. Some might call me a hero. I have no right to argue. ‘Tis no small feat to triumph where others have tried and failed.

Much like Odysseus had himself tied to the mast of his ship so he couldn’t jerk off to the Sirens, I too found ways to steer clear of temptation, and I kept a diary thereof.

Day 1: Put Dvorak stickers on my keyboard

Day 2. Finished reading A Random Walk Down Wall Street

Day 3. Played Donkey Kong Country

Day 4. Watched about 20 minutes of Mexico vs. Chile soccer, which conveniently covered both Chile goals

Day 5. Went to the Library

Day 6. Backed up my database

Day 7. Watched Jeter ground out to second for the millionth time this season, stuck at 2998 hits

Day 8. Upgraded from PHP 4.4.9 to PHP 5.2.4, upgraded to WordPress 3.2

Day 9. Read an online box score of Jeter’s 5-5, 3000th hit game

Day 10. Took a nap

Day 11. Took another nap

Day 12. Ate shrimp for both lunch and dinner

Day 13. Wrote the first sentence of a new post

Day 14. Picked an opening pic for the new post

Day 15. Thought about writing a second sentence for the new post, ended up taking a nap

Day 16. Went to a barbeque

Day 17. Watched Japan beat the US in women’s soccer

Day 18. Went to jury duty, then went to the DMV

Day 19. Watched two Simpsons episodes

Day 20. Watched two Simpsons episodes and took a nap

Day 21. Got a massage

Day 22. Laughed at other people whining about the heat wave

Day 23. Got a car wash

Day 24. Practiced the Futae no Kiwami on my wall

Day 25. Missed a phone call and actually called back

Day 26. Ran a 5K

Day 27. Went to the Patent Office, listened to Detroit Metal City in the search room

Day 28. Stayed three hours late at work

Day 29. Dropped my mother off at the airport

Day 30. Watched Ron Paul videos for about two hours straight

Day 31. Wrote this post

Thus, the world was saved.

You’re welcome.

UPDATE: Lt. Wargan thanked me with fan art based off my old harem post, thus making everyone else’s thanks worthless by comparison.

UPDATE: I saved the world again in 2013.

44 Replies to “Diary of a Manga Lived: I Saved the World”

  1. I hope your Jury Service wasn’t as boring as mine was when I did it a couple of years back. (Incidentally, I didn’t realise that they allowed members of the legal profession do it in the US; it’s one of the things that a Solicitor-friend of mine over here wishes that she could do, but isn’t allowed to, guess she wants to see what it’s like on the ‘other side’ etc.)

    Also, you missed out ‘Blatant filler posts’ from your list of tags.

    • None of the men around here seem to think this was a blatant filler post. Would it be filler if you went a whole month without buying shoes?

      I got my jury duty postponed for 6 months. It’s a long story.

      Lawyers here are allowed to be on juries, which would be dumb if allowed to happen. Any competent lawyer would kick out the lawyers during jury selection. I was called in to be a grand juror, which doesn’t have a voir dire process, but it also doesn’t follow all the defendant-coddling rules of an actual trial, so my being a lawyer wouldn’t be all that big a deal. I’d totally do it if I didn’t have a job.

  2. So wait, the Chilean and Mexican national teams don’t turn you on? Derek Jeter doesn’t turn you on?? Or were you actually trying to put yourself to the test in the first week by watching all those manly men playing with theirs???

  3. Saving the world ? Isn’t this a code to become a hikkikomori and jerk off the whole month ?

    Even it it was TRUE, in Day 20+1 You got a massage…

    I assume it wasn’t from a hot chick or girlfriend, otherwise your accumulated libido would have you blasted your mission to fail.

    Why The Fucking Hell You Didn’t Watch Any Anime At All? I guess you couldn’t handle an episode or two of Queen’s Blade then 😛

    • “The brave man seeks not popular applause, Nor, overpower’d with arms, deserts his cause; Unsham’d, though foil’d, he does the best he can, Force is of brutes, but honor is of man.” – John Dryden

    • Huh? Well yeah! The bigger the better!

      “Song of the brave, how thrills thy tone As when the Organ’s music rolls; No gold rewards, but song alone, The deeds of great and noble souls.” – Gottfried Augustus Burger

  4. I thought about not masturbating for a month upon realizing that you put dvorak stickers on your keyboard and played DKC, two things I’ve always wanted to do, but the other things you did are fuck boring.

    That said, what happened to the dvorak?

  5. on day 12 where you ate a lot of shrimp i’m imagining you wearing an Ika Musume hat on top of your normal pimp hat. nearby is Ika herself with her hat removed, and you all know what happens to Ika Musume without her hat…

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